Pre-conception Kills March 29, 2011

I try not to judge though I have my preconceptions and certainly prejudices. Or, is it preferences?

pick your poison or your remedy toward life...

My mother was the absolute LEAST judgmental person I’ve yet to meet. She could poke fun at herself though ALWAYS found something to praise in EVERYONE. And, when I had a crisis to face in my life….life IS full of them, she was patient, rational and even-headed.

Her resource directory, remedy bag, was perhaps not as abundant as mine, as I had (have) a world view that expands her perimeters. I’ve found possibility and solutions with actions she’d never consider. But, she’s the one who gave me the courage to search and search as I do, until I get the answer I need… or better.

And if you’ve read his blog for even a short piece of time, you’ll know that I’m ALL for BETTER!

So, I’m still looking for some things, some people, some ideas, some ways of being, attitudes and actions to serve me best, (and the world’s) highest good. And I work….I endeavor to catch myself when I am being less than loving, judgmental or stuck on only one perception as I journey forward.

I consider what if I were that person; what might make them act the way they do, where do they hurt, fear, what is their outrage or sorrow? We all have them….especially fear and lack of knowing.

I’ll send love and compassion out to those folks this evening. And for me to be understanding of them.

And I’ll keep searching til the right people, places, remedies, things, magic, which meets my vision, meets my heart.

There is, to me, no other way.

Anything less is an abomination to my soul.

And might I work to be loving as I traverse this planet boldly meeting others, finding the miracles, medicine, means, that suit me best.

And, may there be ample grace, certainly coming from me, along the path.

BB Webb

Finding My Twirl…..oh Grateful Me! March 27, 2011

This quote graced my inbox this morning….

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ” – Melody Beattie

This quote, reminder, as I’m finding MOST things which come to me, are gifts, codes, guides, encouragements or signs to help me on my path. And Melody Beattie’s served in just that way this morning. I loved the message in her book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ which I read nearly 15 years ago. It helped me see my own patterns at that time.

I’m playing this morning with the thought of independence and interdependence. I have been both independent and co-dependent, at the same time. How can that be so?? It can.

My father was an interesting guide to me while living, (a different and blessed one in death as I feel his loving presence all around me). He was not one to issue compliments, did not speak of my brains or beauty. Perhaps my soul attracted him so I might learn it on my own. So, my history of who I attracted in the male world often held a level of codependency which thankfully in my 40s I learned to recognize and shift. I would be attracted to men who I THOUGHT might validate who I was….yet I RARELY picked ones who did….as they were patterns, ‘knock offs’ of my Dad. Good men in their own ways, but not the right ones for me.

I needed to discover my OWN sense of self worth. And I continue to, as no doubt we all do.

I am finding, that we attract what we are. If I’m needy, I attract such. A man (or woman) who can’t build up another, is not confident in themselves. What they put out to the world may not be their authentic self. We mirror one another and have the opportunity to learn, (if we’re listening) about ourselves through who we attract.

Find Your Twirl! Photo by Sarah Eubanks Photography

Consider conflict. How often is our first reaction to point a finger. We might consider ourselves the equal culprit. Then, the first thing to do is to forgive ourselves, make the situation what it IS and attempt to shift to something better fitting.

In meeting men and women of late, I notice that I have changed from those years and continue to change. I don’t need people in my world in the same way I have in the past, certainly not men.

But, I need them both to live most fully.

And when I meet either, I am most grateful to recognize their gifts to me. My best friend Lulu is one such example. I recognize our interdependence, how we bring out more in one another than had we not met. I feel SAFE in her presence, I feel her championing who I am AND calling me to the carpet, (in her loving way) when I’m amiss in some way…..not in sync with my true self.

I’ve quoted Carl Jung often, (paraphrased), ‘Love is the process of GENTLY guiding someone into themselves.’ I endorse such thought and hope to celebrate it through action, to the people I love.

And as with my pal Lulu, I’m meeting men in my world who are the same…heartful, be they friends, colleagues or more intimate connections. There is an openness to possibilities and less restriction than I found with my father who had his clear REQUIREMENTS and ‘right and wrong’ rules.

Were he here today in the flesh, I would celebrate who he is and demonstrate a NEW way to love, as he was so deserving.

This morning, I send out gratitude and thanks to the new people gracing my life and to myself for opening my heart to receiving new people, new influences who grace my business, my world….ME! I am perhaps, finding my ‘twirl’!

I encourage you to find YOUR own twirl. It’s certainly where I feel my best…in motion, most alive, free and in my own skin.

With love, always with love….BB Webb

Worth repeating. March 25, 2011

Be the change….

Be the change….

Be the change….

Symbols everywhere. Open those precious eyes. It’s all here for us. Be the change you want to see!

Be the change.

Really, all one has to do to transform their life, is remind themselves to think and behave a little bit differently, each day.

Rainbows,
The Universe

With love, BB Webb

We all need a ‘Caddy’ March 24, 2011

‘Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem, expect abundance on every level’. Eileen Caddy.

We all need reminders, helpmates, support, champions, someone to carry our ‘clubs’ from time to time. And these ‘caddys,’ champions…they come in such varied flavors. We need only open our eyes, listen, feel with our hearts and get out of our own way.

Abundance is our nature. Might we but tune in as the animals do…even my domesticated animals….they know. They are some of my greatest teachers, certainly with regard to listening, love and absolute…..oh did I say ABSOLUTE, oh yes, Absolute JOY!

Spring is here. Here’s to the rebirth of you, me, anyone ready for positive change and the expectation of miracles…but, of COURSE!

Look around and you shall see.

BB Webb

The power of now, mooooving and WOW!

‘To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.’ Pema Chodron

Well yes. Certainly. And of the nesting birds….

I am a night owl…..I resist sleep as something inside me (when I feel my groove), comes alive at night. Mornings too I enjoy, but not to be out and about, PLEASE. It’s MY time. No animals in the room after chow time, just me….usually with computer and hands on my computer keys, stroking them, conjuring up magic if I can, or turning the wheels of industry as I am wont to do.

But tonight, I find myself coming alive to C J Chenier, to the late Beau Jocque, to my old Bonnie Raitt tunes and a bit of Joni, Dave, Asleep at the Wheel and okay, that one Akon song that I love….and I realize how I MUST manifest more dancing in my world. I have one of the prettiest ballrooms in Georgia with acoustics that are perfect and space to swirl, cha cha, swing, zydeco and feel the flow of the music, the step, a partner and yourself.

So….always a mission, a vision, an idea to conceive, make real. And tonight….I’ll put out into the ether waves, that there WILL be dancing at Carl House while I am caretaker and owner.

I remember years ago when creating Carl House, standing on planks of a not yet build ballroom thinking, ‘goodness, like a theatre, oooh, the love and joy that will happen under this roof when it is built’.

And so it has been and so it will be!

Everything starts with a spark, an idea….whooooa….it’s going to be a unforgettable year. Mark my words…please do!

Beau Jocque….vibing, dancing….over the moon joy and Mr. (revered Sir), CJ Chenier…just entirely cool and soooo fun to dance to ya’all!! Now stand up and dance….do it….just do!!

The power of now, mooooving and WOW!…the energy will send you where you’re needing to go. TRUST me on that one!!

BB Webb

Now is the time for all good….hmmmmm… March 23, 2011

…for all good men and women, to come to the aid of their soul’s purpose!!

Timing is NEARLY everything, along with a mind, heart and spirit READY to move. And I am ready to move. The drag before the ‘boing’ has felt like forever to me though after a crisis of sorts (how long has it been), and a morning and afternoon by my campfire in my back forest, some prompts from friends old and new…the path is clearing and off I go.

I don’t need much more than that as things will sort themselves out as I ‘intend’ forward. And I am. AND, I’ll mark this evening as the (new) starting gate for a fresh chapter.

I’ve fashioned a new spot in my upstairs office for some disciplined (so fun) writing and creation with a bit of structure, (oooh but not too much for this one or I’ll buck like a bronco and revolt….it’s just me).

And I have some things which have been brewing. Suddenly my body wants to move, I’m seeing the symbols and signs beckoning me on and there is nothing yet to do but put the music on, dance and twirl about awhile, (my readying ritual) and get to creating.

Thank you medicine men and women in my world for your whispers in the wind, your encouragement, your ability to SEE parts of me I cannot at times and for your curiosity. Without my friends, in the spirit realm as well as in my bricks and mortar world, I’d be but a shell of my full and impassioned self.

And when we declare what IS…..so it is! Onward ho!! (With a passport in hand, etherial and tactile both, JUST in case)!

A reminder to me, to you if you’d like….to jump off that ‘cliff’ with abandon and let the wild wind BLOW! Might we all create with abandon….it’s as much a birthright as is our ability and right to breathe, love, reason…or sleep. Glory be!!

Fearless Love (by Bonnie Raitt)

Come my love
Come bravely to me
Let your heart be still
For our time
Has come my tender one
To be free of will

And fly
Blind on fearless love
Let them wild winds blow
We’ll shine
On all we’re fearful of
Then we’ll let it go
Let it go

Skippin’ stones
Across the great unknown
Safe at water’s edge
Don’t look down, baby
We’re gonna leave this losin’ town
And leap out from the ledge

And fly
Blind on fearless love
Let them wild winds blow
We’ll shine
On all we’re fearful of
Then we’ll let it go
Let it go

BB Webb

Communication is the Response You Get March 19, 2011

I am frustrated in this moment. I don’t like the feeling of disconnect when I am working in earnest to share a perspective, create a solution when asked, or have a moment of rest……and I am tired. The lists travel into my future like adding machine read outs….one into the next, into the next until my sight is blurred.

And IF communication is indeed the response we get, this thought is one to ponder. If when chatting with someone after being asked a question, if my response is not getting the response she wants or needs, is it ME who is not hearing or does the speaker need to rephrase or put her defenses aside, or me MINE, to better hear what is being spoken from either end.

I know only that when someone storms away after my dismissing the situation in frustration, (surely not the BEST strategy for peace), leaving it to them to solve, feeling my response unvalued or really not wanted, I am at a loss and feel anger at the lack of connect.

But I know what falls below anger. It is hurt, disappointment and sadness. I ask then, ‘what does this exchange remind me of’? When have I been here before. How is this person reflecting something from my past which makes me feel helpless, hopeless and in that moment, so very powerless.

I’ll send to them instead a prayer for peace and connection. I will communicate in other ways, energetically, with love and hope, hope that her shields as mine will drop to reach the heart of not just the matter, but the heart, which rules the mind when we can for a moment set the mind aside.

Ego is fear. Heart is not. Heart is love and I pray for mine to expand into greater tolerance and acceptance with each challenging communication I encounter.

I know my heart, my intent and boundaries. And if communication is the response we get….I’ll work both to hone and improve mine and let go the energies which don’t serve me. I am reminded too that a defensive nature is only a protective measure to our wounded parts. And, I am reminded the power of ‘I’ statements and how we give away our power with statements such as ‘you did this’, ‘you did that’. Just thinking….with some smoke drifting so evidently from my ears!

And, thank you to my distractors, for without the ‘rub’ I’d not have a barometer to so profoundly notice and measure my growth.

Peace.

BB Webb

It’s Probably Robert Duvall March 11, 2011

So many roles he’s played over the years. He’s special.

As a backdrop to some evening work earlier this week, I watched ‘Sling Blade’ with Billy Bob Thornton, (another peach of an actor).

Robert Duvall as his father was brilliant.
(And Dwight Yokam the perfect manipulative, arrogant, self serving, pushy ass, covering an insecure, misdirected man….WELL played)! So much of what he performed in this film, (Yokam), how he moves, his whiney voice….the nuiance, the immersion into his character….terrific! OR, there is always the possibility that he’s like that in ‘real’ life.

I like that expression…’real life’! Funny. It’s all real. It’s something too when you notice how you’ve changed and move differently than you perhaps once did in your life NOW, than perhaps long ago or even awhile ago. Our blueprint is our blueprint but all drawings can be erased or painted over…we can play whatever character suits us best.

Back to my protagonist. ‘Tender Mercies’ is perhaps my favorite Robert Duvall film. His struggle and dichotomy of character so perfectly played.

His recent ‘Get Low’ is another study in character, his final speech about losing the married woman he was planning to run away with is heart wrenching, tragic, real. He touches deep within and with that specificity we feel it too, as we have all been to these places of deep regret, experienced loss, the alone moments that shape and chisel exactly WHO we are.

This is part of why I loved acting.

So, this week, I watched Duvall, met some new people, wondered how to discern one ‘reality’ from my next, spoke to a woman who I grew up with whose father died….hearing her say ‘I love you’ to me despite not being in touch for almost 40 years and I visited with a former love, realizing how while we conversed, I’d so clearly moved on and why.

And such is life, moving, moving, twisting and turning. I propped my eyes open and worked late into the evening last night, organizing, clearly, throwing out more STUFF, to move my business forward, to move ME forward, to create time for new things as I’m uplifted by potential and certainly hope to exercise a GOOD measure of MY potential before leaving the earth.

(And speaking of leaving the planet, have you seen Robert Duvall in ‘Road’ with Viggo Mortgenson…(another favorite). Stunning in his portrayal of the old man with glossy, opaque eyes hanging on in a post apolcalyptic world).

So, as we say up north….’God willing and the creek don’t freeze’….or, if I’ll let go and allow all good to come in as she wants only to do.

With tender mercy and gratitude AND a heart wide open, so it is. This or better says I, this or better!! I say, BETTER…because I can. Why not?

So, it’s probably Robert Duvall, and people like him who fuel and inspire me, the way they weave who they are and who they are becoming, their ‘characters’ so to speak, which, by their example (in ‘real life’ or fiction), will help transport me ‘there’.

BB Webb

Principally Speaking March 1, 2011

“As to methods there may be a million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

I get THAT. There are so MANY ways to run a business, have a relationship, create a nutritious tasty dinner or skin a cat, which I’d NEVER do, as I value my cats and would find that cruel and untasteful.

But, back to the moment. This moment. Or looking at ‘that’ moment. Flowers at the height of their bloom. Two children. A glance. A home, resplendent, filled with life, parties, victory. All the while the clock ticks.

I pray for peace within my heart, within yours, the ability to be where I am, grateful, abundant. Present. Here. Now.

Blessings….everywhere.

BB Webb