BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

It’s all new….let it be new….it’s all new. June 12, 2011

A band came to play at Carl House last weekend. As the owner, well, it’s not considered kosher to hop into the middle of the dance circle and rock out….but I am a dancer….I was maybe born wiggling and moving fresh from the womb. I need action and movement. And I feel action and movement coming after a long winter’s…..hmmmmm, sleep is not the correct word, but after a looong winter’s having to PAY ATTENTION in ways that don’t come as naturally to me.

But I’m smart and capable in ways, perhaps moreover, tenacious as hell….learning when to yield and not drive every moment, opportunity, urge, feeling that pops forth. Perhaps, to wait a breath to receive a bit more, allow things to softly come to me.

Perhaps you are similar….I suppose I was born a warrior type and acting other ways takes a tremendous degree of mindfulness for me. So, I practice breathing, waiting, seeing what it’s like to let things come to me a bit, while others initiatives I know need my urging….and this I can do easily….it’s how I’m made. Not everyone sings to my same tune and I’ve grown to accept these differences….not to take them all so personally when people don’t glean to this energetic of mine. I’m clearly NOT for everyone. Are any of us??

So, the band that visited Carl House last weekend, Brookwood Split, they have been on my mind, especially the Pointer Sisters song they sing, ‘I’m So Excited,’ as I am….excited….about all manner of things creeping into my view.

I find my sitting high in a high rise in a North Carolina city, appreciating the sun, the time to think, my electronics surrounding me (ahhhh, my new iPad….ooooh the joy), my phone and computer….I can spot check my business, gather all manner of information from around the world, download books, music, communicate with my friends and take pictures to document my journey if I choose. And, to write, book ideas, tv thoughts….business plans. I need this time to visualize as I know when I do, lovely things evolve. Always. ALWAYS! Or better.

As music plays in my ears, it inspires me, to move, yes, physically, but more, to move the ideas which have been and continue to hummm in my ears…..stories are taking shape as is my body which I am plying with new moves, teaching it to do new things. I’m eager to learn to sing better, perhaps new dance classes to see how else to coax my body to move and express what’s inside. I’ve planned a dance party at Carl House next Friday after our wine pairing dinner (please join us)…and I hope we have a crowd ready to romp and play….as I certainly am and this time, the owner WILL rock the dance floor.

‘I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it, I think I’m going to lose control and I just might like it.’ That’s right…losing control is where true creativity blossoms and I’m birthing all manner of explosions. The right time, the right scene, partners be they business, friend or love partners…..there’s just no limit to what any of us can do, create, imagine, manifest, conjure forth or reckon.

I have new eyes. I really do. And they are seeing through my lens clearly. I take nothing for granted and appreciate ALL that comes my way.

It’s my choice….and I’m focusing on all good. Ooooh, this or better God…Universe….THIS or better, please.

So, yes, I’m so excited….and I just can’t hide it…..moving forward with ideas, a big heart, lessons a plenty to guide me. It’s time to dance, create, and damn, have some fun…..

….trust me on this one. And, it’s totally up to you, up to me. You can do it. So, together, let it be new….and let’s get excited!! Travel to new places and baby, let it happen, go on, abandon of the safety zone. Go on now….do it!! I’m there with you! Lead with your heart, use your mind and know, for certain, that in your own way, YOU are perfect!

These ladies know what I’m talking about…..go Cristie, Nika y Natalia!!

With love,

BB new eyes.

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Finding My Twirl…..oh Grateful Me! March 27, 2011

This quote graced my inbox this morning….

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ” – Melody Beattie

This quote, reminder, as I’m finding MOST things which come to me, are gifts, codes, guides, encouragements or signs to help me on my path. And Melody Beattie’s served in just that way this morning. I loved the message in her book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ which I read nearly 15 years ago. It helped me see my own patterns at that time.

I’m playing this morning with the thought of independence and interdependence. I have been both independent and co-dependent, at the same time. How can that be so?? It can.

My father was an interesting guide to me while living, (a different and blessed one in death as I feel his loving presence all around me). He was not one to issue compliments, did not speak of my brains or beauty. Perhaps my soul attracted him so I might learn it on my own. So, my history of who I attracted in the male world often held a level of codependency which thankfully in my 40s I learned to recognize and shift. I would be attracted to men who I THOUGHT might validate who I was….yet I RARELY picked ones who did….as they were patterns, ‘knock offs’ of my Dad. Good men in their own ways, but not the right ones for me.

I needed to discover my OWN sense of self worth. And I continue to, as no doubt we all do.

I am finding, that we attract what we are. If I’m needy, I attract such. A man (or woman) who can’t build up another, is not confident in themselves. What they put out to the world may not be their authentic self. We mirror one another and have the opportunity to learn, (if we’re listening) about ourselves through who we attract.

Find Your Twirl! Photo by Sarah Eubanks Photography

Consider conflict. How often is our first reaction to point a finger. We might consider ourselves the equal culprit. Then, the first thing to do is to forgive ourselves, make the situation what it IS and attempt to shift to something better fitting.

In meeting men and women of late, I notice that I have changed from those years and continue to change. I don’t need people in my world in the same way I have in the past, certainly not men.

But, I need them both to live most fully.

And when I meet either, I am most grateful to recognize their gifts to me. My best friend Lulu is one such example. I recognize our interdependence, how we bring out more in one another than had we not met. I feel SAFE in her presence, I feel her championing who I am AND calling me to the carpet, (in her loving way) when I’m amiss in some way…..not in sync with my true self.

I’ve quoted Carl Jung often, (paraphrased), ‘Love is the process of GENTLY guiding someone into themselves.’ I endorse such thought and hope to celebrate it through action, to the people I love.

And as with my pal Lulu, I’m meeting men in my world who are the same…heartful, be they friends, colleagues or more intimate connections. There is an openness to possibilities and less restriction than I found with my father who had his clear REQUIREMENTS and ‘right and wrong’ rules.

Were he here today in the flesh, I would celebrate who he is and demonstrate a NEW way to love, as he was so deserving.

This morning, I send out gratitude and thanks to the new people gracing my life and to myself for opening my heart to receiving new people, new influences who grace my business, my world….ME! I am perhaps, finding my ‘twirl’!

I encourage you to find YOUR own twirl. It’s certainly where I feel my best…in motion, most alive, free and in my own skin.

With love, always with love….BB Webb

 

Oooooh, those 18th Century Writers! August 16, 2010

“Pleasure is very seldom found where it is sought; our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks.”

Samuel Johnson, 18th Century English writer

Samuel Johnson knew….he knew about the ‘push me, pull you cycle’ which when released, frees up all manner of ease.

(He was an erudite man indeed, writing not the first dictionary, but one considered the most complete to date.

When I consider the ‘first’ dictionaries known to man…. I’m thinking SURELY there was a tablet in stone somewhere long ago with conjunctions and words worth remembering….or those Philistines’ looking for just the right retort or ardor-filled phrasing in a sparring with their neighbor, the perfect harangue.

Even more interesting is the picture I see of this person practicing their phrase for the heat of battle.

Just considering.

Let it come. Bring it on. The good, the blessings, the unexpected gifts, be they words, gestures, romance, good health, a surprise trip, idea, prosperity or just plain good news when you were poised to manage the worst.

Bring it on I say, bring on the good, bring it on.

And then perhaps, I consider, it is all good.

Some moments just FEEL better than others.

BB Webb

 

And then we die… August 7, 2010

I’ve been thinking a good bit about death lately.

Of course we’re all GOING to die….I don’t know anyone who ultimately won’t or hasn’t. Certainly there are folks who work ardently in defying it….working to look young, stay healthy….all that. Well, I certainly have a measure of vanity and would prefer being a good looking old bat, healthy, able, but moreso, I hope to have achieved a measure of my potential before traveling on…..but clearly that is my ego speaking…..my desire to create so many things…..as if I were in control. Funny that! Nevertheless, wasted talent to me is a disappointment, for sure.

I’ve lost some people very close to me….my mother…..my father. We all expect that our parents will die before us and frankly, I always worried when taking physical or safety risks that had I died before my mom, THAT would have killed her, certainly broken her heart which would have broken mine.

I realize with this thought, that the death of a loved one becomes so much about those of us still living, narcissistic, perhaps, but where I certainly have and do gravitate, the idea of living without them seeming unbearable. But, I’ve learned it IS bearable, in time.’

I’m not a parent, but I CAN grok that bond. But, my mother died first and despite the initial blow and the grief process that followed for some time, I worked through it and have her with me (sounds so hokey), in spirit. I get it. I do.

In fact, I was celebrating the good work of two key employees, serving them with a yummy dinner and wine at my house last evening, a treat for me. Memories of my mother Kitty came up. They wanted to hear stories. There were many and we laughed uncontrollably at some of her hysterical antics.


One of my favorite ‘Kitty’ stories, her cooking a roast on the manifold of our station wagon on a trip she took with we, her three children, on the way out west for a grand adventure,

(Everything was a grand adventure to her. We wouldn’t just have apples as a snack, it was always, ‘an apple party!!! Get your party hats!’ I loved that about her, she a woman who experienced untold adversity in her 74 years)!

So, our roasting oven on four wheels….these were the days when we had service attendants raising the hoods or our cars to check the oil. When our unsuspecting attendant lifted ‘Kitty’s’ hood, with his eyebrows high on his head, the smell of a seasoned roast wafting through his olfactory membranes, with her broad and characteristic smile, Kitty beamed, ‘care to join us for lunch?’

Good heavens, the love I had…have for her is clearly, unmeasurable and certainly thicker than molasses and as dark as tar! Deep! And once you have loved deeply, there is no other way.

My two work team players drank ‘after dinner coffee’ in Kitty’s fine china and spooned homemade frozen yogurt from her rose painted dessert bowls. She is with me everywhere, mostly her heart, seeing me through the tough times, rallying my wins, always hoping I’ll find love in ways she didn’t. I feel her smile and her ‘back’, her fortitude and her energetic presence whenever I tune in, as she is never far. I had and have no better champion. Experiencing this sort of love can buoy a soul in magical ways.

And, I am a grateful daughter, reminding me, that it is the challenging twists and turns and how we surf, lob, traverse or bob through and around them, that determines the profundity, the power of our relationships with others. I appreciate that. Adversity can serve us deeply if we stay aware.

We don’t need many ‘rocking chair’ friends, the ones who will be with us in spirit or in the flesh throughout our entire life, some still alive though who we don’t see in the flesh as often as we might prefer, but the few I might count on one hand, oooooh, they are like the right seasoning on a roast…..be it cooked in an oven or on the manifold of a 1960’s station wagon!

BB Webb

 

Seven Years Ago Today… July 5, 2010

I opened my business….my Carl House business.

Seven years ago there was so much I did not know.

Seven years ago I demonstrated ‘moving forward as if’….as if I could create whatever my mind imagined, and more.

Seven years ago today I was, like today, dreaming up things and seeing what would happen ‘or better’ as I coaxed forward that vision.

Seven years ago today I took a deep breath and sat with a fine bottle of champagne, with my husband at the time, on a fine leather coach and sighed and looked around at a post event and said,

‘Wow….this is really a beautiful room, such a cool place.’

Seven years.

I wonder at what I’ll be sighing at, smiling at as I look back to today in seven years.

Incredible no doubt. I’ll intend that…

and more.

We are free to create and be whoever and whatever we want.

In EVERY moment.

I choose big, brave, bold, brilliant and heartful.

Why not?

With gratitude for the lessons, the journey, the people and where I find myself this morning….looking out on green, surrounded by heartbeats, standing firmly on wood floors, comforted by cool air and a vision which is only growing.

(photos by Eric Delaforce, left and Kristi Odom Photography above)

BB Webb

 

I sight. June 4, 2010

The ability to see, to really SEE and its blessing, strikes me this moment.

To see, to be seen, I sight, eyesight.

How fortunate are we, am I. Eye! Aye!

BB Webb