BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Worth repeating. March 25, 2011

Be the change….

Be the change….

Be the change….

Symbols everywhere. Open those precious eyes. It’s all here for us. Be the change you want to see!

Be the change.

Really, all one has to do to transform their life, is remind themselves to think and behave a little bit differently, each day.

Rainbows,
The Universe

With love, BB Webb

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Necessary Shifting and Necessary Play March 8, 2010

I took a long awaited spin outside my surrounds this past Friday. Welcomed indeed. Hopping gleefully into my ready jeep, eager to hit the road, I felt giddy with excitement to take a break from what has felt like a very, very long winter, fall, summer and spring of last year. In fact, I was astonished to realize that my last ‘out of town’ excursion was my trip to Bali last April. That is VERY unlike me. I love to travel and explore.

So, off I flew off to visit my dear pal not far away in North Carolina. Together we wax metaphysical while nibbling our favorite meal, (cheese and crackers, fresh strawberries, grapes and wine) and go deep and light and do a lot of laughing for sure. Together we explore new ways of living and being and thinking and evolving as we both have found winters of discontent in old cultural or societal models. Having just made some marital shifts, she and her husband have decided for now to live separately, taking turns living in a lovely high rise urban apartment four months on and four months off, each sharing their spacious Lake Norman home in rotation.

We all decided to meet for cocktails at her husband’s apartment and ‘hit the town’ together. A former football star, and business super star for sure, comfortable in the affluent neighborhood of ‘Normal-town’, he was excited to share with me some of the ‘ahas’ discovered through the latest shifts and turns within his marriage with my friend. He conceded that ‘not everyone is open to this kind of thinking, how supportive we are of one another and finding a deeper peace, whether we stay married or not’. He shared too how fun it is when they date or decide to spend the night together….he alluded to a different appreciation, knowing that regardless whether they stay married, ‘we’ve never related to one another with such honesty and support before’.

The power of an open heart, true friends and being loved.

My heart swelled for them both in hearing this.

I loved to see them relate together as the energy had shifted. Visiting their home at other times, I felt the tension and also the love, but moreover the struggle of different worldviews. I could see an appreciation and openness that was not there before. And I always love to talk business with this highly intelligent man. Together they attested to not knowing whether they will reunite as man and wife and live together again, but a shift in how they might relate together as man and woman was profound. They clearly love one another, enough to want the other to have what they need to feel fulfilled and happy within their own skin.

I met my friend at one of my ‘expanding workshops’ as I call them. We became fast and ready friends and realized that we both grew up in the farmland of Pennsylvania, living just miles from one another. We went on to study energy healing with Dr. Fernand Poulin who I’ve mentioned often. Every 6 weeks we would come together, (and she would stay with me in Atlanta) to study for four intensive days with Fernand, testing our own skills of intuition and intention, learning to shift energy with positive intent.

I’ve seen my friend expand herself into new possibilities for herself over the last 4 years of knowing her. As a quiet and ‘behind the scenes’ kind of person, she is extremely intelligent, a former electrical engineer who managed teams of men 20 and 25 years her senior. She is also an artist, having dabbled in a number of varied interests and, she is a seeker much like myself. She reads voraciously and always has a spiritual conundrum for us to widdle about until the evening is late and our eyes droopy.

And, we have had our challenges too, in communication, feeling heard, sharing truths. I appreciate her willingness to go deeper with our friendship, weathering our own hardships together. I feel our bond has grown only deeper.

But this night, the three of us hit the town for martinis and appetizers, hopping from one lovely restaurant to the next, laughing and discussing the recent ‘dates’ of her husband, our male escort, the perils of on-line dating and the lessons learned. His transparency within his own situation, still married and in counseling with his beautiful wife, unsure whether reuniting was their best choice or not, I felt the sanity of such openness and exploration. I felt the desire for each person to find ‘home’ for themselves.

As the initiator of this shift, my friend encouraged his exploration. He on the other hand was less open to hearing of her adventures in dating, but nonetheless, his support was clear, certainly with her spiritual questing. I admired this man so much and told him so. I knew the world to which he was accustomed. He confessed that his reading of Eckhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth’ was a huge eye opener, for sure. I recommend the book as well.

I am meeting more and more women who though they welcome a neat bond and intimate sharing with a partner, that they are less open to marriage or the expectation evident in so many relationships. The covet their freedom and the space to explore their own growth, many not finding the support for such growth within their marriages. I understand this. My wings felt clipped in my own marriage somehow and I could not navigate my own flight within its confines, sadly perhaps, but it is what it is.

I understand this need for expansion and welcome connections with people who might build fires around my ambitions and passions to fuel it forward, as I certainly know easily how to do that for others, including my friend.

As we played and nibbled on luscious fig and proscuitto topped foccacio with arugula, sipping on perhaps one too many pineapple martinis, leaning against one another with laughter, holding one anothers arms telling jokes and sharing stories, how lovely it felt to be in the presence of intelligent, open minded, heartful friends, both willing to test the waters on how to have more fulfilling relationships and lives.

I came home renewed, open and realizing my need to travel outside my city more often, to friends whose hearts are open, their communication clear and their minds, whirling with the positivism of possibility.

I feel the world shifting for me and am open to seeing who appears in the movie screen of my life. Man, woman, child, my next loving pet, it is all good, and all truly is well. And so, it is!

BB Webb

 

It’s not personal??? July 10, 2009

I unfortunately take WAY too many things in my life PERSONALLY, yes, all in caps. Perhaps I need too much approval. I have an unfortunate desire to be understood. (Forget THAT one).
Woman at work in suit

Being a business owner can really suck at times. Risk your ass, do your best, stay up into the wee hours with worry and angst, work to be fair, kind, giving, focus on the wrong thing or give someone too much power or room, don’t watch the right things, almost lose it all, have to fire people and cover your ass during a transition, worry cause YOU can’t do their job, pay for errors, take out more loans to cover your lessons, incur MORE debt, lower your salary and not theirs, try to keep the morale up at the office, come off too harsh one day, a push-over the next, hire incorrectly, don’t fire fast enough, forfeit a social life….good God, what a roller coaster.

Fortunately I can handle it and moreover know this is where I need to be.

I had a therapist tell me once that people will play out their mother/father issues with you as boss…we hold the ‘power.’ I guess you could call it that. I do have to remind myself often that people don’t HAVE to work for me. I’m so far from perfect….if they don’t like working with me, I sure hope they’ll know to exercise their free will and find someone perhaps they like better. I’m finding we’re all replaceable and it’s sooo much fun to work with people who REALLY appreciate the opportunity you created for them.

Though, there is one given…if someone is going to leave, it won’t be me, at least not til I sell my business cause well, I owe all that darn money to the bank. Oooooh, yeah!

There isn’t typically a lot of appreciation for the boss anymore than there is for a parent. That’s okay for me most days. I try not to take that personally. I’m coming to learn, (especially from my last year in business), that more often than not employees don’t feel THEY are appreciated enough. I do my best to let people know how I value them, but apparently, for some, not enough it seems.

I won’t take that personally, they don’t understand the pressures of ownership, they don’t see the bills, the increase in costs, what the shift in the economy has REALLY done to businesses, the things that the owner sees. And I’m sure they wish I saw more of all the really terrific things they do. I don’t yet know the right balance of ‘atta girls’ to ‘I need you to do this’ pleases. I get very confused.

woman reading paperTrust me, I get the whole notion of positive feedback, I certainly need it and get it from my business coach or friends. I've tried doing lots of 'touchy feely' at our weekly staff meetings, feeding everyone, sharing…. I'm not sure it's worked the way I intend. I wish it were enough that people have what I think are pretty cool jobs at a really nice place, (often close to home), with what I feel is a great deal of freedom and flexibility and the pay isn’t bad…certainly not for a small business and living where we do. Though it can be intense and stressful for us all at times, I think it's a pretty nice place to work. Better certainly than a lot of jobs I can think of…..but that’s just me.

Awwww…..the truth is….I could never work for anybody. I'd probably think they were mean or too intense or not intense enough, or that they should pay me more, blah, blah, blah…..I mean, come on, they're the boss. Who likes a boss anyway??? They're so bossy.
African American woman

I do know that I am over-the-top committed to becoming a savvy business leader who is fair and clear and who backs everything up with policies and procedures and clear protocol.

And I’ll thank again Mr. Brian ‘Sassy-Smarty-Pants’, Cork…my savvy business coach who several of the people who are no longer with me don’t like much. They said as much.

‘You shouldn’t listen to him BB.’

Well I understand their bitterness. Had he not come along those folks might still have their jobs and I might have not seen how monies were unjustly being distributed and where non-profits were being reported as profits. Ouch, that hurt!!! Awwwww heck, we’re just cleaning up leakage so we can continue to HAVE jobs for people. And that’s a GOOD thing, isn’t it!

If you don’t watch your child, who will. If you don’t watch your business, who will.

I DO trust that everyone does their best, just as I do, and I appreciate that VERY much. Frankly, I’ve hired some lovely people and (though this is personal), have loved many of them very, very much. It’s just taken awhile for me to learn that they’re not your friends, they’re your EMPLOYEES. It keeps things a lot simpler that way and it’s the fairest way to be, for ALL involved.

But really, lovely, LOVELY people, ’bout everyone of them.

woman worker in red
And yeah, I hate that it didn’t seem to end well with some. I try not to take it personally, but, well, I do. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m working on that….trying to tuck it in a bit.

I stay up late at night worrying about them from time to time. What kept me up the other night was the thought that….if ever my bottom line weren’t met, it’s not JUST me who would be affected, it would also impact ALL the lives of my clients who have booked events a year ahead AND it would also jeopardize all the people who I employ. That’ll keep ANYONE up at night.

(Note, my slightly sarcastic vent below is only my humor, (sadly misunderstood by a bride who though my biz was in jeopardy…not in the LEAST)….trust that my business is strong and flourishing…I’m merely trying to make a point with humor):

The good thing is…my employees could get another job…(whewww) and my clients, well, of course I’d get sued and eventually they’d garner wages from my future checks and they’d be okay, just a little inconvenienced. I’d lose my house, but that’s okay, I have friends who’d put me up. And goodness, I’ve handled advertsity before….I’m a ‘die hard’ survivor.

And if no one offered a life raft, that’s okay, I’d really try NOT to take it personally.

But isn’t it nice when people really DO have your back. I think so. And that doesn’t mean they remain your employee, just that things needed to shift. Ahhhhh, in a perfect world.

The really GOOD news is….my business is on the grow and doing better than fine, but don’t for one instant think it’s because I’ve taken things personally. Good heavens….there’s too much at stake, for that.

Surfing the learning curve.

Moving forward, with love, always with love…

BB Webb