This quote graced my inbox this morning….
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ” – Melody Beattie
This quote, reminder, as I’m finding MOST things which come to me, are gifts, codes, guides, encouragements or signs to help me on my path. And Melody Beattie’s served in just that way this morning. I loved the message in her book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ which I read nearly 15 years ago. It helped me see my own patterns at that time.
I’m playing this morning with the thought of independence and interdependence. I have been both independent and co-dependent, at the same time. How can that be so?? It can.
My father was an interesting guide to me while living, (a different and blessed one in death as I feel his loving presence all around me). He was not one to issue compliments, did not speak of my brains or beauty. Perhaps my soul attracted him so I might learn it on my own. So, my history of who I attracted in the male world often held a level of codependency which thankfully in my 40s I learned to recognize and shift. I would be attracted to men who I THOUGHT might validate who I was….yet I RARELY picked ones who did….as they were patterns, ‘knock offs’ of my Dad. Good men in their own ways, but not the right ones for me.
I needed to discover my OWN sense of self worth. And I continue to, as no doubt we all do.
I am finding, that we attract what we are. If I’m needy, I attract such. A man (or woman) who can’t build up another, is not confident in themselves. What they put out to the world may not be their authentic self. We mirror one another and have the opportunity to learn, (if we’re listening) about ourselves through who we attract.
Consider conflict. How often is our first reaction to point a finger. We might consider ourselves the equal culprit. Then, the first thing to do is to forgive ourselves, make the situation what it IS and attempt to shift to something better fitting.
In meeting men and women of late, I notice that I have changed from those years and continue to change. I don’t need people in my world in the same way I have in the past, certainly not men.
But, I need them both to live most fully.
And when I meet either, I am most grateful to recognize their gifts to me. My best friend Lulu is one such example. I recognize our interdependence, how we bring out more in one another than had we not met. I feel SAFE in her presence, I feel her championing who I am AND calling me to the carpet, (in her loving way) when I’m amiss in some way…..not in sync with my true self.
I’ve quoted Carl Jung often, (paraphrased), ‘Love is the process of GENTLY guiding someone into themselves.’ I endorse such thought and hope to celebrate it through action, to the people I love.
And as with my pal Lulu, I’m meeting men in my world who are the same…heartful, be they friends, colleagues or more intimate connections. There is an openness to possibilities and less restriction than I found with my father who had his clear REQUIREMENTS and ‘right and wrong’ rules.
Were he here today in the flesh, I would celebrate who he is and demonstrate a NEW way to love, as he was so deserving.
This morning, I send out gratitude and thanks to the new people gracing my life and to myself for opening my heart to receiving new people, new influences who grace my business, my world….ME! I am perhaps, finding my ‘twirl’!
I encourage you to find YOUR own twirl. It’s certainly where I feel my best…in motion, most alive, free and in my own skin.
With love, always with love….BB Webb