This quote graced my inbox this morning….
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ” – Melody Beattie
This quote, reminder, as I’m finding MOST things which come to me, are gifts, codes, guides, encouragements or signs to help me on my path. And Melody Beattie’s served in just that way this morning. I loved the message in her book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ which I read nearly 15 years ago. It helped me see my own patterns at that time.
I’m playing this morning with the thought of independence and interdependence. I have been both independent and co-dependent, at the same time. How can that be so?? It can.
My father was an interesting guide to me while living, (a different and blessed one in death as I feel his loving presence all around me). He was not one to issue compliments, did not speak of my brains or beauty. Perhaps my soul attracted him so I might learn it on my own. So, my history of who I attracted in the male world often held a level of codependency which thankfully in my 40s I learned to recognize and shift. I would be attracted to men who I THOUGHT might validate who I was….yet I RARELY picked ones who did….as they were patterns, ‘knock offs’ of my Dad. Good men in their own ways, but not the right ones for me.
I needed to discover my OWN sense of self worth. And I continue to, as no doubt we all do.
I am finding, that we attract what we are. If I’m needy, I attract such. A man (or woman) who can’t build up another, is not confident in themselves. What they put out to the world may not be their authentic self. We mirror one another and have the opportunity to learn, (if we’re listening) about ourselves through who we attract.
Consider conflict. How often is our first reaction to point a finger. We might consider ourselves the equal culprit. Then, the first thing to do is to forgive ourselves, make the situation what it IS and attempt to shift to something better fitting.
In meeting men and women of late, I notice that I have changed from those years and continue to change. I don’t need people in my world in the same way I have in the past, certainly not men.
But, I need them both to live most fully.
And when I meet either, I am most grateful to recognize their gifts to me. My best friend Lulu is one such example. I recognize our interdependence, how we bring out more in one another than had we not met. I feel SAFE in her presence, I feel her championing who I am AND calling me to the carpet, (in her loving way) when I’m amiss in some way…..not in sync with my true self.
I’ve quoted Carl Jung often, (paraphrased), ‘Love is the process of GENTLY guiding someone into themselves.’ I endorse such thought and hope to celebrate it through action, to the people I love.
And as with my pal Lulu, I’m meeting men in my world who are the same…heartful, be they friends, colleagues or more intimate connections. There is an openness to possibilities and less restriction than I found with my father who had his clear REQUIREMENTS and ‘right and wrong’ rules.
Were he here today in the flesh, I would celebrate who he is and demonstrate a NEW way to love, as he was so deserving.
This morning, I send out gratitude and thanks to the new people gracing my life and to myself for opening my heart to receiving new people, new influences who grace my business, my world….ME! I am perhaps, finding my ‘twirl’!
I encourage you to find YOUR own twirl. It’s certainly where I feel my best…in motion, most alive, free and in my own skin.
With love, always with love….BB WebbAdvertisements
Finding My Twirl…..oh Grateful Me! March 27, 2011
A Voice, a Voice… December 29, 2009
I’ve always been talkative. (I can hear great laughter in the background). When I was 5 years old I had a Chatty Cathy doll. I’d pull her string and once got so tired of HER talking that I actually remember throwing her down the basement stairs.
Uh oh…that might say something about my character. Awww, probably not. Well…..maybe.
No doubt a thought or two people have had regarding me. Ahhhhh well!! I beg you to banter back, interupt, bellow, shout, moan, groan, speak up for goodness sake!
My brother called my one woman show my primal scream! Well, someone had to speak the truth!
For years after first arriving to Atlanta, I taught communication skill classes in colleges called, ‘Speaking Out.’ It was very popular. Fun too! I love to watch people begin to express what’s REALLY going on inside. I’m probably a bit of a voyeur. With all the travel I’ve done alone, I’m a relentless people watcher. I am ALWAYS fascinated by what I observe. Always.
I have something brewing inside me, incubating really. It’ll first manifest as a talk radio show and later as a television series.
WHO: I want to champion women in business. I heard a line in a movie I recently watched where it was stated that: women from the south are not ‘steel magnolias’ which frankly wilt almost immediately after plucking them, but the character in this film suggested they be compared to good southern greens such as collards or kale. I feel that analogy is MUCH more accurate, (if we must be compared to plants)…you can steam them, boil them, fry them and they hold their sturdiness and are packed FULL of nutrients to fuel your body.
I’ve been steamed, boiled and fried, and I’m sturdy as hell and healthy as an ox, (are oxes really healthy)?? You get my meaning.
WHAT: The show will feature extraordinary women in business and how they are changing the face of business each and every day, by doing things differently, through creativity, hard work and innovation.
WHERE: I’ve found a delightful studio and radio station out of Gainesville, GA which broadcasts to I think 30 or so nearby counties including all around Atlanta. WDUN am talk radio.
WHEN: Soon, though not right away as there is planning to be done and to do this well, it’ll take some incubation time, though I’m very excited and think about creating this smart, interesting, fun and informative weekly broadcast constantly, (or as time allows as I work my Carl House business to new heights)!
WHY:There are fascinating stories to tell about these heroic, strong, resourceful and independent women that need to be told. I’m interested in who influenced them to become who they are, coaches, other business colleagues, family, what challenges they faced and overcame and what interesting anecdotes they might be able to share with other aspiring or established business owners.
So, my request to you dear readership, though you may be slight, (though if things go as planned, (and they will, or better), you will grow in time, sturdy and strong like those collard greens), to please share your thoughts on women who you deem true entreprenurial spirits, pioneers in creating business on their own terms, women who have been on the front line and not only won, but excelled despite difficulties and challenges.
And, if you know of savvy business coaches who have had an impact on various people in business, please share their information with me as well. And, thank you!
You may comment on this blog space or contact me through my business email address which is firstname.lastname@example.org
Thank you in advance for any thoughts you might be willing to share or for passing this blog post along to someone who you feel does.
Savvy Women: Redefining Business.
Stay tuned…great things to come…I PROMISE!