BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

How We Deal With Struggles Defines Us. April 4, 2011

I am thinking of two things this evening…

1. that the way we handle hardship defines us
AND
2. authenticity and the originality and truthfulness of it.

Re-reading the last sounds silly. But hang with me a moment.
Our culture, each of us is so tainted by tv, culture, the media, family, schools, religion.

Cliches rule and I am a cliche terrorist. I abhor them, wondering if folks might boil a thought down to its essence more to produce a thought that BETTER expresses what they want to say. Truly. And yes, I’m victim as well to these rounded, vague, cliche-isms at times, of course.

Example…a marketing poster…’spring into savings during our springtime sale’. *sS&^*RE**-w9(9p../,&&@##!.

We all overuse words and expressions and even copy copies of copies of things said, songs sung, complaints hurled.

An evening by the.....computer. What's new?

My major point here, is that when we experience authenticity,
(not Mariah Carey style thinking sexy is dresses too small or flitting her fingers about because she got applause for it once, or the pause before a punchline in a joke which Dean or Steve Martin did one time or another)
….I mean coming to things organically. Giving conscious thought as to how to EXPRESS what’s happening.

A speech, song, conversation, loving action, piece of writing initiated from this source, the feel is so different than the canned versions.

So, I’m endeavoring to catch myself in truth-isms and to notice my own worn out cliques.

I heard a colleague sharing thoughts on a video recently. The writing was funny, her thoughts, but the delivery was too staged for it to impact me.

Thought working through the fingertips...

So, I’ve not gotten to the struggle part of this sharing, (I was going to say conversation but there’s really only one person talking here, eh?)

I’ll be back later…sleep is pulling at my eyelids and I’m ready to fantasize about things that don’t exist….yet.

Why…..you know……….because…….because I can.

Sweet dreams and on to the struggle conversation manana. (I’m noticing how easy it is to be predicable with our expression)!!

BB Webb

And a little FYI…not that anyone would really care, but the struggle thought was prompted while watching a trailer for the film ‘The King’s Speech’ with Colin Firth and Geoffery Rush. (Two actors I greatly admire and I film I’m looking forward to seeing. Geoffery rush exudes authenticity and truth)!

And…..Here’s something to put in your pipe….(Damn! THAT’S an original expression)….consider this…you’re involved in a new romance….everything is fresh, exciting, new….what makes those budding, blooming newbie experiences pale in time or NOT pale in time? How do we keep life fresh, awake, interesting….how does one keep a stage performance fresh, as though it’s the first time?? I’m not saying that familiar is not good, but rather, how do we keep our wonderment alive?

I have an idea on that…nurturing curiosity and the desire to create anew. Perhaps coming from a place of compassion with the urge to discover more…more! More heartfulness perhaps??

Defining struggle. Stay tuned.

 

Communication is the Response You Get March 19, 2011

I am frustrated in this moment. I don’t like the feeling of disconnect when I am working in earnest to share a perspective, create a solution when asked, or have a moment of rest……and I am tired. The lists travel into my future like adding machine read outs….one into the next, into the next until my sight is blurred.

And IF communication is indeed the response we get, this thought is one to ponder. If when chatting with someone after being asked a question, if my response is not getting the response she wants or needs, is it ME who is not hearing or does the speaker need to rephrase or put her defenses aside, or me MINE, to better hear what is being spoken from either end.

I know only that when someone storms away after my dismissing the situation in frustration, (surely not the BEST strategy for peace), leaving it to them to solve, feeling my response unvalued or really not wanted, I am at a loss and feel anger at the lack of connect.

But I know what falls below anger. It is hurt, disappointment and sadness. I ask then, ‘what does this exchange remind me of’? When have I been here before. How is this person reflecting something from my past which makes me feel helpless, hopeless and in that moment, so very powerless.

I’ll send to them instead a prayer for peace and connection. I will communicate in other ways, energetically, with love and hope, hope that her shields as mine will drop to reach the heart of not just the matter, but the heart, which rules the mind when we can for a moment set the mind aside.

Ego is fear. Heart is not. Heart is love and I pray for mine to expand into greater tolerance and acceptance with each challenging communication I encounter.

I know my heart, my intent and boundaries. And if communication is the response we get….I’ll work both to hone and improve mine and let go the energies which don’t serve me. I am reminded too that a defensive nature is only a protective measure to our wounded parts. And, I am reminded the power of ‘I’ statements and how we give away our power with statements such as ‘you did this’, ‘you did that’. Just thinking….with some smoke drifting so evidently from my ears!

And, thank you to my distractors, for without the ‘rub’ I’d not have a barometer to so profoundly notice and measure my growth.

Peace.

BB Webb

 

Cowgirls, Plays and Such! July 22, 2010

I’ve always produced. Always. I was making up skits and plays when I was 4, dressed in plastic high heels, often wore a cape like Mighty Mouse (from the cartoons), and would jump off chairs feeling rather ‘mighty’ myself. At one point I thought it’d be fun to be an elephant when I grew up, (no body image issues then), and I often fixed my hair and positioned whatever hat I was wearing in the door knob as that’s about how tall I was.

I know you have your stories. Who we are and will become is rather evident when we look back. Sally Star, (cowgirl on tv who hosted Saturday morning cartoons in my hometown of Lancaster, PA)…..she wore an outfit I coveted before I knew that ‘coveting’ was apparently something frowned upon.

Well, I still covet that bejeweled gem of an outfit with sequins and fringes, her cowgirl hat had the perfect flare and Sally, to me, was the ideal woman, strong, fun, funny, brave (it seemed, she was afterall a cowgirl) and pretty. And ooooh, those clothes. I just knew if she’d stand up and turn around her skirt would swirl in a way that would mesmerize any smart cowboy around!

Pink Martini Dessert: Photo: Jaxonphoto.com

So, I continue to produce, all manner of events, shows, ideas, stage ‘happenings’ in my head, speeches, concerts and dream that one day I’ll have the skillset and nerve to sing in public. I just can’t help it, it’s how I came into the world.

This weekend I’m excited to produce a lovely event at Carl House, replete with bagpipes, fiddlers, vendor partners and their wares, a wine tasting of our best wines with prizes, prizes, prizes as I LOVE to give gifts.

You MIGHT have interest. If so, check out our Carl House blog, Carl House Unveiled.

Life’s such fun when you get to share your passion with others. I might even wear my cowgirl outfit!

BB Webb

 

Dig Deeper… July 19, 2010

for your passion….for your heart….let it rip….and then rip some more.

Thank you Janis.

BB Webb

 

Blue Skies and it’s sometimes not what you say… June 15, 2010

…but what you DON’T say that can be harmful.

Communication is ticky. (ticky being a new favorite word).

I was told by someone once….’communication is the response you get’.

I don’t know if I entirely agree with that.

For instance, I might say to you, ‘damn this workshop blows’.

You might look at me aghast that I’d be so blunt and possibly consider me rude. You might like the darn workshop and my comment might make your eyebrows climb high on your head.

Or, you might start laughing like a hyena because you don’t normally hear me talk in that manner.

So, communication may be the response you get, but that feels like a cop-out statement, almost like saying,

‘the sky is blue though when it’s grey it’s not’.

Speaking of blue sky, my brother Jeffrey, (5 years older, business bloke turned full time skier/horseman/builder of greenhouses/growing vegetables with his wife, Glo). We chatted this morning….me in the heat of business and the rich turmoil soup it seems to keep stirring, and he, well, look at the view out HIS back window, just outside of Bozeman, Montana.

Brother Jeffrey's view out his back window!

And then there is my current landscape, I woke today after a busy weekend of work, and decided to hold court and conduct business from this very spot awhile. Bed, computer, kitty-cat. Nice.

I often wonder where I’ll be in 5 years.

BB's world view most early mornings.

Life IS stranger than fiction. For sure.

I’m looking forward to a welcomed diversion from my current work routine. I feel it coming.

(this line to be sung please)….’I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready, I’m ready!’

And meanwhile, consider making yourself a tad vulnerable and tell someone you care for, that you care for them. Communicate it however you want, but be CLEAR.

You could change the world with that small gesture of love and kindness. You could!

I’ll extend my own blessing to the world in ho’opononpono tradition:
‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you’.
Truer words might never be spoken.

BB Webb

 

It’s all in the details, though, maybe not June 7, 2010

I’m considering the importance of details in some matters and then again, not, in others.

In my business, you bet, and accountability measures ARE being put into place at every switch and turn. I’m surveying it all, and finding that just like a bolt can become loose on a bicycle, so can the details in a business and then she (my business is female), just doesn’t ride as well.

So, I’m preparing for a long ride, tightening bolts, visiting all the nooks and crannies to see what can be done better…better I say!!

And I’m finding lots of little things which TO ME, add up to so much.

Without structure, (I’m finding), for myself, my business, in our relationships, things can easily crumble and fall….like gravity. This is a big ‘aha’ for me, creative web spinner that I am. Webb-Spinner might be more appropriate.

I want to serve people well, very well. I consider my former coach’s (Brian Patrick Cork) mantra about finishing well. (I was just this evening catching up on my blog reading and reread this thought). I’d like to elevate also the way I play on the way TO the finish line….and I am.

And then I consider the areas where details matters little. When whitewashing your intention of heart in each moment, I’m considering NOT getting too caught up in how or why or when, but just to impulsively find the rhythm and dance to the pulse you feel. And just let it fly like paint, splattered carelessly on a ready canvas. Greens, blue, yellow, orange, burnt umber, turquoise…

Crazy all that.

I find I am still less settled in the moment but alive in a variety of hemispheres which take me all over the Universe.

And when I return, (in any given moment) to the earth, often needing much discipline, I scan what needs to be done each day, at the office, at home, with friends, family, in caring for myself….

I’ll have no problem dying to this world, entering another….

…though hope I don’t hurt in the passing. I’m so adverse to pain….that’s a detail I’ll gladly miss.

Though, I often find myself missing something. I’m frankly not exactly sure what it is.

Though my eyes are open! I am in training for something indeed. And yes, today my eyes see through the woods clearly.

BB Webb

 

Love Among the Memories April 29, 2010

Love Among the Memories

I found myself this past weekend in the lush surrounds of Lancaster, PA, Lititz to be exact, home of Wilbur Chocolate and Linden Hall, now the oldest girl’s school in America, founded in 1747, also my former high school. I arrived on no more beautiful day than I can ever remember. Spring was in full bloom, dogwoods with their pink and white blossoms coloring the landscape, rich green grass sprouting fully from the fertile dark soil of this farmland. Everywhere color and abundance, cool air, the perfectness of Pennsylvania in the spring.

I hiccupped in on a small plane from Atlanta this past Friday, eager for a visit with my dear Aunt Sue and Uncle Jack. For 43 years I’ve visited them on a beautiful ‘farm’ which was had been in our family for generations. At one time it boarded many horses and when I was young, a llama named Pepito, one of the Uncle’s strange and wonderful gifts to his wife Sue. Pepito entertained us all for years and the horses as well with his comical antics and random spitting if he was displeased.

We enjoyed many a party on Buch Avenue, the adjoining servants carriage house from the 1800s turned into guest quarters. My family knows how to party and have never been known to hold back. With all varieties of food and the libations flowing for sure, my family works hard and plays hard, each and every member! We’re a family of entrepreneurs, this gene running strongly through our blood from generations before.

Though a large and sprawling house, the dining room was not large enough to house our growing family of new husbands and wives and the many children who came along the way. My Uncle Jack and Sue fashioned one year their three car garage into ‘party quarters’, transforming long workbenches into buffets areas, tables long enough to seat 25 or more. Such events often ended in dancing or games and one year, the boys lining up, raising the garage doors and ‘mooning’ the neighbors for fun. (I can see Sue shaking her head, as the mother of three riotous boys can only do)!

Having joined several family members in marriage on the estate, one year I remember the most glorious weather, June I think. My aunt, a true Martha Stewart type woman, (before the jail incident)….tenacious and exacting, had every detail of the wedding in tact. The ceremony was to be held around a gazebo surrounded by every summer flower you might imagine and rainbow of color. The sky was clear with narry a cloud and we all entered around the gazebo while chamber music played.

My Aunt Sue entered proudly, dressed in her flowing taffeta, the proud Mother of the Groom. She sat down just in front of me. Everything was in order. I remember someone readying a poem, a song being sung and then the ceremony began, vows were being spoken.

And then, as though God were issuing a reminder, one lone grey cloud toodled its small self across the sky and stopped directly above the ceremonial gazebo. The rest of the sky continued its blue display but Mr. Grey Cloud instantly began a downpour as the ‘I dos’ were issued forth.

My most vivid memory is my soon-to-be new cousin, Lesley, laughing with joy in her eyes and then my Aunt Sue’s head falling to her chest, me almost hearing what she was no doubt thinking….’ooooh, for God’s sake’…..and indeed it was, reminding us that life is perfect in all ways, the ups, downs and turn arounds, it is all in divine order.

We all ran for cover under a large tent where the buffet was to be served. Our playful cloud had dissipated, having performed its task for the day, for us all to learn this important lesson should we choose.

With matted hair and extra wrinkled linen, there was no more perfect day or memorable wedding, and I’ve attended quite a few!

Joi de vivre! Live for the day.

BB Webb