I’m midway along this new adventure, a surgery in fact (and as my pal Lulu and I love to say, ‘the details don’t matter’, as often they don’t). I traveled to have some eye repair, my first reminiscant surgery when I was 7 years old, then 8. I’m in good care with a doctor I trust, though presently out of town.
I was surprised the first evening after returning back from post op, how frightening both the pain was and my not being able to see. I knew it was temporary, and I felt in excellent care with a loving and most trustworthy friend. Nonetheless, my first memory was ‘where’s my mommy’ as certainly she was there when I was 7 and again when I was 8. The memory, part of my drug induced blur, was strong.
And then, in feeling the warmth and care of my friend by my side at every hour, when a pain pill was needed, or if she heard me groan or call, to change my eye dressing as needed, I felt how absolutely, totally cared for I was.
Yet at one point, with her near, I felt my body begin to quiver and despite trying not to, I felt my body begin to shake and the tears come. It’d been so long since someone had taken care of me in such a thoughtful way. I was overwhelmed with emotion and my heart hurt.
In addition, having my body stop so suddenly from its warp speed pattern, solving problems, managing challenges so often, so quickly and for so very long a time, to simply stop and have my sight taken away and to be in need of round the clock care, I became undone.
I cried through my gauze and the goo, somehow feeling the pain throughout all the world, wondering, ‘how do people manage’. The burn victims of 9/11 came to mind, the abuse, the neglect, it all ran across the window screen of my altered state and I cried until I was done, my friend simply holding my hand, being present, showing support.
I am thankful for her kindness, support, care and love.
I will be well soon enough, though out-of-pocket a spell, breathing, healing, sleeping, coaxing a new sort of vision, for sure. I’m today well enough to tip tap at my computer which brings me great joy, despite it taking 3 times as long as usual to write behind my squint!
Just a thought, but sincerely, go love on someone totally, totally, fully and with your complete attention. It could change everything….for the better.