BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Kathy and Mo AND Buckminister Fuller…all in a day. January 17, 2010

I was asked to be on a panel years and years ago called, ‘Creating Something From Nothing.’ I could talk about that all day.

I love to look back after a creation is complete, (or are they ever, but rather, when I am ready to move on from one), to consider where it came from, what voice, spark of inspiration, what drove it into being. I used to paint and could NEVER consider the paintings DONE, I merely had to stop as my talent knew how to only take me so far.

I’m today reading about Buckminister Fuller and wish I’d had the opportunity to sit down with him over coffee, or with Ezra Pound who he came to know. I relish expanded thinking and the folks who can speak in terms of big truths, what’s really happening, the raw, REALLY transparent dialogues. Most people are busy hiding and protecting, and I understand that too. I choose to love it all for I am as ‘on the grow’ as anyone.

In his 1970 book I Seem To Be a Verb, he wrote: “I live on Earth at present, and I don’t know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thing — a noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary process – an integral function of the universe.”


I relate well to what he says there. He had so much more to share than just his creation of the geodesic dome, which was hardly ‘just’! I’ll share more possibly on Mr. Fuller at a later date, as I am just now drinking in and enjoying his many thoughts, perspectives and ideas. New inspired thinking is like sweets, addicting and thoroughly enjoyable!

I’m considering some projects which are filling my heart, my mind, which I’m driven to explore and create. I’ve felt a noticeable shift recently, almost as though a dam, which had been curtailing movement forward, has begun to break, pieces of wood, leaves, unneeded garbage being released to allow some full monty which is in store. A different feeling for sure. I’m somehow letting go some things which ultimately don’t matter. I think as we move more resolutely and clearly within ourselves, the answers are there.

I always have stories and shows, production pieces swimming in my head…it’s just part of who I am. I lately find myself considering a live theatrical show of sorts, always with some message imbued with humor, pathos, dialogue and bits to keep folks engaged though allowing them, if I am successful in my pursuit, to take away maybe, just maybe, a worthy ‘aha’. I live for the ‘aha’….and ooooh I get them, regularly, often after great angst.

I’m finding, when I beckon something, in earnest, and if it’s meant to come my way, it always does. I’m simply allowing myself to recognize the areas that are not ready or maybe not meant to come my way. Here I get to practice a very good surrender that needs few words, though I am tempted to try to make sense of why, when I’m finding, that ‘making sense’ is not needed. I’m beginning to know this pull, (ego) and drop it. How freeing when I can!

I stumbled upon an HBO special by a dynamic duo named ‘Kathy and Mo’. Having been a solo performer a good part of my career as actress, I’m not sure how I missed them, but I did. I find their work brilliant in so many ways. Both women have superlative technique, smarts and natural instincts as actresses that blow me away. I love their topics, the humor, the way they transform, despite their sex or body type, into the most varied characters. And, they’re funny as hell.

I found the following on YouTube, one which was a part of one of their early 1990’s show. Just a taste. Fun. Funny. Honest.

I’ve a show brewing inside me and many other things. How interesting it might be to look back in about a year to see where this sneaky harbinger in time might have been leading me.

We’ll just have to wait and see, now won’t we!

BB Webb

 

Ukraine’s Story in Living Art… January 12, 2010

This is perhaps one of the most extraordinary ‘Living Art’ pieces I’ve ever witnessed.

This video shows the winner of Ukraine’s ‘Got Talent’, Kseniya Simonova, 24 year old creator of a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German invasion during World War II. Her talent, is unique and mesmerizing to watch.

The images, projected onto a large screen, moved many in the audience to tears.

Her story, which tells of the ‘Great Patriotic War’, as it is called in Ukraine, resulted in one in four of the population being killed with eight to 11 million deaths out of a population of 42 million.

Astounding! Consider taking the 8 and a half minutes to watch this. You might thank your lucky stars you did. Perspective is nearly everything!

Our world is filled with the most extraordinary and wonderful people, if we’ll but open our eyes and then…..take the time to look within, as there is magic inside all of us!

BB Webb

 

What is Art? November 2, 2009

I had an interesting day today. I often prepare during my weekend time, for a new week, along with some rest, certainly a refocusing time; though once off on my week, it’s a mystery as to where any given moment might take me…..and FYI….the moon is FULL, VERY full. I feel it entirely.

The following video will go down in history, no doubt, as one of my favs. It completely resonated with the world I encountered today.

So, I find myself considering a few things…

Why do we do what we do? What drives us one way or another. Why might a certain situation or person capture our interest at any given point in time? How is it one project, encounter or person might make us squirm with uncertain delight, (or trepidation), while another, which you’d think would send us into shock and panic, does not? Who are we in our varying moments and self imposed ‘roles’?

What are these different roles we assume, AND, how lovely that each day we have an opportunity to emerge anew, different, slightly shifting with the people we bring into our lives, the endeavors we choose…

And isn’t it all, ultimately art? Our lives, total art. Certainly, and perfect just as they are.

I am constantly amused by my own reactions to the world put before me. I often don’t recognize myself. I’m ALWAYS curious as to how each scene evolves. And there I say, is the fun. A new spark to ignite our engines at every turn. I everyday fly solo and with no hands, whether accompanied or not. Just me. No script. Oh, how brave are we.

BB Webb

 

Perspective October 13, 2009

I am considering this evening how differently we all view the world. We all have our ‘world view’. I like being around people with an expanded vision of what is possible.

I was introduced to the work of M.C. Escher when I was 14 or 15 years old. Somehow I went from Jughead and Betty comics to M.C. Escher…..his work mezmerized me; I’d scour through his drawings for hours upon hours. Likewise, I was enthralled with the photography of Weegee….his depiction of life in the city was completely foreign to me, sheltered Pennsylvania girl that I was. Both artists saw the world in such unique ways.

So, tonight, while thinking of my own perceptions of the world and how they are shifting, I pay tribute to these two amazing artists.

If you don’t know Escher’s work, this is my favorite YouTube retrospective. You’ll have to copy this link on your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSvE-2ZzFOw

I feel it’s worth the 3:55 mintue view.

Or for a quick hint of his work and a short seminar…and to hear that thick Dutch accent:

Weegee revealed humanity it all it’s surprising details, often shocking, real, transparent, brutal, tender…a true photo journalist, an artist. His real name, Arthur Fellig, (actually born Usher Fellig), he moved to New York City in 1909 and was called ‘Weegee’, or as the Wiki guide states, ‘Fellig’s nickname was a phonetic rendering of Ouija, due to his frequent, seemingly prescient arrival at scenes only minutes after crimes, fires or other emergencies were reported to authorities.’

At 14 it was refreshing to learn that Ozzie and Harriet weren’t my only backdrop to the world. I knew after studying these two artists, I’d forever be an explorer. There was just that much to see!

BB Webb

 

Let it Be Sed September 1, 2009

Let it Be Sed
(To children and best friends)tough little girl

She was the sort who couldn’t sit.
She’d try,
But she couldn’t sit.

Her name was wrong.
Her parents named her Sedriana.
Sedriana Sabastiano.
Her friends called her Sed.
Others called her SS,
Some just hisssssed when they saw her go by.

But Sed couldn’t sit,
She sauntered,
She stood,
She sprinted,
She sunk,
She often swallowed hard,
She tried to sing.

Sedriana Sabastiano was on a search.
Her mother thought it was for a star,
Her Dad couldn’t figure what she was looking for,
She moved too much for him,
He got dizzy and would have to sit down when Sed was around.

Once he said to Sed, “Slow down Sed, quiet down, go to bed!”
But Sed had little time for sleep or sitting or snoozing or even sipping
the tea that her mother brought for her,
Or later that her boyfriend brought for her,
Or later that her husband brought for her,
Or later which she sometimes remembered to make for herself.

Sed was always said to be searching.
“Look,” said a neighbor once concerning Sed,
“She swims, sips, slurps, skates and sneezes always as thought she is looking, peeking, seeking and searching for something spectacular, what could it be?”

Sed was always said to be free, Intense, frantic,… sometimes frightening,
often frightened, but free.

One day when Sed was no longer a child, her friend Sally paid
her a friendship visit.
Sally was a sweet, silent, contented sort.
Sally worked from 9-5, had clean cupboards and never seemed to mind.
She served on all the local committees, raised her children bright and strong,
She and Sed were said to be the bestest of friends.

One day Sally was on her way to visit Sed, walked through the door
And Sed was on her head!
“Sed,” Sally said, “Why are you on your head?”
Sed came down,…one never talks while on her head.
Sed merely sighed and said,
“Sally,…Sally, I’m looking for a thread!”

Sally nodded and understood, put down the cookies she’d brought for Sed
and grinned and smiled with a nod of her head.
Sally understood for she loved Sed.
Sed packed her bags as Sally sat nearby and read.

Years later after having traveled far,Train
To Paris, Caracus, Toledo, Zanzibar,
Sed was on a train, munching a fig,
She wore a hat that she knew was too big.
Suddenly as the brakes on the train squealed to a stop, Sed slid
Forward and in her head went a pop.

She stood up, startled, shook her head once or twice,
And as if possessed, laughed and wept til the day turned to night.

The moon came out full and Sed sat alone,
Bouncing on the train realizing she was home.
No matter where she roamed she was home,…inside herself.
She hugged herself, her wrinkled brow softened,
Her search was alive, but her heart somehow blossomed, with a
murmur that can listen as well as be heard,
Sed found her star and bounced quietly along.

The train ran its route,
The moon flared its glow,
Sed was found quietly sitting,
As the train’s whistle did blow.

By BB Webb

 

The Tipping Point August 20, 2009

I had a ‘tipping point’ day. Something ‘binged’ in my head regarding my business and ‘I got it’ on a different level….all the things I’ve known I wanted, (I always have a vision)…I just didn’t know how to do it….despite coaxing, encouraging, proding, and all the other things that come from caring folks before that ‘tipping point’.

I am not religious one bit, rather more spiritually inspired. I need only ‘get’ something on a visceral level to employ all, ALL my will and strength with TREMENDOUS faith, (I’d blow a seasoned Baptist or guilt ridden Catholic out of the water). When I ‘get’ something or am passionately excited by a vision in my head, I don’t need to know exactly how to get there, but I know I am off and running and the details will gather together like dust bunnies to a corner. I can’t lose.

Though I’ve embraced this process a bazillion times, (a creative process, which is a jumble of disorder and mayhem before the grand creation is complete), I am consistently a flame of awkward, dissatisfied angst, frustration and hot anger, (think mean wolf about to blow down Red’s brick house), just before the tipping point comes. Nonetheless, I throw myself into the process and despite somewhere knowing I will come out a winner holding my trophy high, I play out my role with gusto as for me, there is no other way. I am not the actress, I am indeed the person all actors might want to emulate…I am that person.

And for me, I then own my experience as I’ve BEEN there, yes, no doubt creating my own hell, (probably for some around me as well), but ooooooh the victory in reaching heaven’s gate.

I feel like a victorious warrior today, SURELY not done with the battle though see FOR SURE that my competition has no chance…they being whatever ghouls of fear, reaction, doubt or impatience who knock so LOUDLY on my door, awakening me in the night, not allowing me to fall back in slumber. Today they met their match. Today I don’t care if they enter as I KNOW, for SURE, they haven’t a chance.

I am so damn powerful.

And only so with this team of folks who surround me, recognize me, bolster me forward, directly, (lovingly) call me on my bullshit and lift me higher.

And of course, I have no other reaction but to offer them the world if I can.

And so, the tipping point came today. Awhile back I wrote about this ‘tipping point’ phenomena. You know…you’ve been there.


Rally on, my heart to the warriors!

The Tipping Point

You think it’s gonna come early,
Then were sad and felt it was too late,
You get a tad peaked and encouraged,
Then you wonder hard about fate.

Chorus:
Then dang if the scales don’t tetter,
Don’t they toddle, create a wake,
And oh the tipping point comes,
Yeah open them flood gates,
Baby, go on and open them flood gates,
I got some livin that jus ain’t gonna wait!

The money it just wouldn’t show up,
Your biz slowed, got stuck in the mud,
Your love life seemed on terminal hold,
You’d given ‘nuf sweat and lotsa blood.

Chorus:
Then dang if the scales don’t tetter,
Don’t they toddle, create a wake,
And oh the tipping point comes,
Yeah open them flood gates,
Baby, go on and open them flood gates,
I got some livin that jus ain’t gonna wait!

You’ve scoured the ads, traveled so far,
And that voice in your head keeps saying ‘soon!’
You’ve said your prayers and thrown your cards,
What else now, must I howl at the moon?

Chorus:
Then dang if the scales don’t tetter,
Don’t they toddle, create a wake,
And oh the tipping point comes,
Yeah open them flood gates,
Baby, go on and open them flood gates,
I got some livin that jus ain’t gonna wait!

Then fifty came smack, without warning,
Behaviors of old, took their toll,
Divorce struck quick like sharp lightning,
But freedom, she knocked hard at your door.

Chorus:
Then dang if the scales don’t tetter,
Don’t they toddle, create a wake,
And oh the tipping point comes,
Yeah open them flood gates,
Baby, go on and open them flood gates,
I got some livin that jus ain’t gonna wait!

And heaven you find it was right here,
Peace was well within reach,
Abundance was in every corner,
And love was what ya needed to teach,
Yeah, love was what you needed to teach.

Chorus:
Then dang if the scales don’t tetter,
Don’t they toddle, create a wake,
And oh the tipping point comes,
Yeah open them flood gates,
Baby, go on and open them flood gates,
I got some livin that jus ain’t gonna wait!

BB Webb

 

Oh Sinnerman…. August 19, 2009

A favorite song, a favorite scene, a favorite theme….

Slight of hand…perspective….Magritte….life….Nina Simon…

Intriguing…

Where ya gonna run to….?????

BB Webb

 

No….I don’t mess around. August 13, 2009

When I get clear about things….I just don’t mess around. I hang on like plankton till I’m sure there is no way out, no way in, no way through or no way else. When I commit to something, damn it if I’m not in…but when I’m out….’heeeey, where’d she go??’ I just don’t like to hang around. I have other fish I’m damned if I ain’t gonna fry.

I once made a decision to move out of state on a Friday and was gone Sunday, house and LOTS of ‘stuff’moving-van loaded, animals packed, memberships dissolved. And my new house was settled by Wednesday….and no, there was no sleep in between. It’s just me. That’s how I do things. I’m a manic fool, I admit. I don’t care. I like it that way.

When I’m in, I’m in, when I’m out! Seeeeeeee yaaaaaa! And I don’t look back….at least not much. My heart might need mending (or not) and I don’t miss much once I leave…I like the thrill of unchartered territory. I like potential. I’d like to have a love interest who relishes the same.

Imagine a love affair that turns into a voyage fathoms deep, to the far edges of the moon, inside a volcano and back around and underneath the sea. Imagine the courage to keep it all moving and fresh and new….interesting, full, loving, sweet, complex, intense, angry, passionate. Someone to move from state to state with if you choose. I choose that one. Or pick me, pick me….I’ll go there.


I’m not talking roller coaster, I’m talking journey to the far reaches of possibility between two spiritually robust beings having awesome human experiences.

juggling_man

Ahhhhh, come on now….it’s just a choice. Free will, attract what you choose. Create your own miracles. Create your own shit.

I had a boyfriend once, a ridiculously tall, lovely and talented man with a Roman nose which I loved. He was eccentric and a great juggler, of all kinds of sticks and clubs and balls and such…. and very self centered, which sort of amused me. He had a temper, (though not at me) and would chase people on the sidewalks of Boston in his big orange van if they made him mad. I liked him. He was funny and a silly goose really. Talented as all get-out. We played and hung out for a number of years and when it was over….it was over. A little sadness, a little disappointment, but it was what it was. I was good at recognizing timelines back then.

I went through a period, in my 30s mostly, where I just could not see that things come and go….I was adamant on making things stick, muscling them into the way I wanted them to be, clearly missing the magic of interaction and flow. I’m getting to a place where the flow is possibly returning and I see everything as a gift. Oooooh, I can bitch and moan, but I don’t really take myself seriously….I roll with my moods, my hormones, my entertaining ups and downs. I like living large. I am amused by my own ridiculousness….much as I was by my tall Roman nosed fellow back in my Beantown days.

WatermelonSo tonight…I am all about the taste of Watermelon and how I can’t imagine not having it a regular part of my life before now. It’s succulent, (who DOESN’T like SUCCULENT), sweet, I LOVE the texture and well, it fills you up, it’s satisfying.

Yet I know, I know me….I’ll be all over nectarines or gingered pears or kiwi with a twist in a month or two. And goodness, how DID I live without THOSE???

kiwi

Everything is coming and going and coming and going. The taste of a ripe peach is so beautiful, as is the fragrance of a new attraction, the warmth of a friend who you can’t have imagined not being in your life or that snuggle your pup gives you cause you are their A #1 gal. It’s all good. Some things stay longer than others, but it all comes and goes.

I just hope to be awake while the good things pass through, because isn’t that ripe, special, deliriously lovely…the moments, the unexpected ephiphanies, the moments you experience just being alive, knowing that a new state (as in US state) or state is around every bend if you have the courage to flow…to have faith in what your heart tells you….not sweating the details. Life is so much bigger than details. Spring into summer into fall and thank GOODness for winter and spring again. It happens like clockwork, every year…as do our shifts and turns, when we trust and allow them to move us.

So…back into my night…with a full belly of watermelon, the hint of adventures to come, in work, adventures in play, perhaps reflected in the way someone holds an eyebrow, the tone in a conversation or the image you remember from a dream. The memory of a moment or the creation of a thing….or not…it doesn’t matter, it’s all rich…this moment, then that…fuel really.

I like that. I like that a lot!

BB Webb

 

At the end of the day…. August 12, 2009

At the end of this day…

And always a dream…always..

.

BB Webb

 

The Gift of Receiving! Part 2 August 6, 2009

So, in ‘Part 1’ I was about to discuss how a gift came beautifully my way.

I knew time away from my work and home was imminent. I’d muscled through, (with loving assistance…yes, a gift), many challenges in business, with learning to ask for what I want or need and was at a pausing point, ripe for a get-away, one of the many parts of my life I supremely enjoy…travel, adventure and discovery.

I know the value of taking myself away now and again.

I toyed with many options, a stay at the beach, a short visit to see dear friends in Chicago and Boston as most of my longtime, dear friends are scattered throughout the universe. A friend who lives in France happened to email me, (a response to a birthday wish I’d sent him four months earlier).

That’s fine…I encourage friends, people I love to be free to do or not do what they want with regard to our relating….

Ohhhhh, the subject of another blog, the beauty in allowing and not setting up stifling expectations or ‘stories’ about how one thing or another SHOULD play out in our lives. Frankly, that takes away the magic.
Again, another blog….that along with the difference I feel between being in a ‘relationship’, (again a terminology often laden with heaviness), to moment-to-moment relating, which to me is so much more freeing. happy_couple_passionately_kissing
Relationships on the other hand can be so fraught with expectation and stories taking away the very thing that attracted one person to the other and vice versa.

Courtship begins with relating. Relationships often sadly end with disappointment and unrealized expectation, or tragically stay, stuck and unmoving in such shrouds of misery.
Again, I wildly digress. Another day.

Back to my friend who sent me an email hello after 4 months before receiving mine: I had taken an intensive, mind and soul expanding workshop last summer in Normandy, France which this friend of mine masterfully taught. Our group was comprised of 30 Dutch people, as he too is from the Netherlands. I was the only one from the United States needing translation from my 30 new friends who so kindly did so for me. (Which I received from them).

My friend had shared that he’d just come off some whirlwind travels and teaching and in coming up for air to respond to my email, he noted how lovely it might be to visit with one another SOMEWHERE in the world this year, (we’d met at another workshop in Hawaii). He noted that he’d be in Greenland, Peru, France, Holland, California in the fall and Bali in a week.


Bali in a week! Almost jesting, I wrote back, ‘Bali, I’m about to take a vacation and have not yet decided where to go. I’d love to come visit you in Bali!’

A quick response back from my friend, ‘Come on over, (26 hour trip mind you), I’m arriving on the 11th, but come early, I’m renting a house there. A driver can pick you up and I have a woman keeping the house who cooks luscious Balinese food and cleans and who will do your laundry. Come enjoy, get away. Take a rest and we’ll visit.’

So I accepted! I allowed myself to receive this beautiful gift.

I had plenty of frequent flyer points to make my way over without coming out of pocket as I am tempering my spending as I move beyond a financially tough year. So hurrah! Good for me. I am manifesting GREAT things and allowing myself to accept the gifts opening up to me.

Bali, Bali, Bali

Bali, Bali, Bali

I even found that I’d made GREAT use of my American Express points by applying them as frequent flyer points. Kevin, a delightfully able and most service oriented AmX rep helped me determine the best use of my points. He noted that any ticket costing $600 or more would use the same 60,000 points and no more. So, my $1640.00 ticket was a STEAL. Good job BB. Thank you Kevin.

Bali, Bali, Bali

Bali, Bali, Bali


My early adult life taught me to be frugal when needed though it didn’t hamper my ability to travel or enjoy. Now, don’t get me wrong for an instant, I MUCH prefer traveling with dollars, yen, euros or rupia which I spent in Indonesia.

And how I loved that 1 million rupia was approximately $1.00. I felt so lavish and frivolous, spending my millions of rupia each and every day!

BB in Bali

BB in Bali

But, NOT having money wasn’t a huge limiter. Though, in that it is all energy, I am finding that as I pursue prosperity, in its many facets, that its energy and use is expansive and I do my best to apply it to all good.

Part 3 upcoming!!

BB Webb