BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Yeah Jack….Yeah… May 16, 2011

It bares…bears….beeeairs……

repeating….

‘The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”’ -Jack Kerouac

Let it go...let it happen....let it go....

Yeah. Awwwwwww……Roman candles lit….intention laid, (or better God, don’t forget, (inspiration) or better)…..BLAST OFF!

I find myself in immense gratitude this day. If we’ll only trust our sight. And more, and more….

More is full of but one thing in the context I share…life, fullness, living, exploration, abundance, joy, love, freedom.

More is good, better, best.

Ooooooh, please trust me on this one. I’m an explorer….I’ve seen it. Smelled, touched and sunk into it all…..more than once.

I couldn’t help myself.

Oh for the calling.

‘Just trust it,’ I am reminded, ‘just trust it’.

And so I shall.

Watch, and I’ll take you there.

Love, BB

Advertisements
 

Pre-conception Kills March 29, 2011

I try not to judge though I have my preconceptions and certainly prejudices. Or, is it preferences?

pick your poison or your remedy toward life...

My mother was the absolute LEAST judgmental person I’ve yet to meet. She could poke fun at herself though ALWAYS found something to praise in EVERYONE. And, when I had a crisis to face in my life….life IS full of them, she was patient, rational and even-headed.

Her resource directory, remedy bag, was perhaps not as abundant as mine, as I had (have) a world view that expands her perimeters. I’ve found possibility and solutions with actions she’d never consider. But, she’s the one who gave me the courage to search and search as I do, until I get the answer I need… or better.

And if you’ve read his blog for even a short piece of time, you’ll know that I’m ALL for BETTER!

So, I’m still looking for some things, some people, some ideas, some ways of being, attitudes and actions to serve me best, (and the world’s) highest good. And I work….I endeavor to catch myself when I am being less than loving, judgmental or stuck on only one perception as I journey forward.

I consider what if I were that person; what might make them act the way they do, where do they hurt, fear, what is their outrage or sorrow? We all have them….especially fear and lack of knowing.

I’ll send love and compassion out to those folks this evening. And for me to be understanding of them.

And I’ll keep searching til the right people, places, remedies, things, magic, which meets my vision, meets my heart.

There is, to me, no other way.

Anything less is an abomination to my soul.

And might I work to be loving as I traverse this planet boldly meeting others, finding the miracles, medicine, means, that suit me best.

And, may there be ample grace, certainly coming from me, along the path.

BB Webb

 

Communication is the Response You Get March 19, 2011

I am frustrated in this moment. I don’t like the feeling of disconnect when I am working in earnest to share a perspective, create a solution when asked, or have a moment of rest……and I am tired. The lists travel into my future like adding machine read outs….one into the next, into the next until my sight is blurred.

And IF communication is indeed the response we get, this thought is one to ponder. If when chatting with someone after being asked a question, if my response is not getting the response she wants or needs, is it ME who is not hearing or does the speaker need to rephrase or put her defenses aside, or me MINE, to better hear what is being spoken from either end.

I know only that when someone storms away after my dismissing the situation in frustration, (surely not the BEST strategy for peace), leaving it to them to solve, feeling my response unvalued or really not wanted, I am at a loss and feel anger at the lack of connect.

But I know what falls below anger. It is hurt, disappointment and sadness. I ask then, ‘what does this exchange remind me of’? When have I been here before. How is this person reflecting something from my past which makes me feel helpless, hopeless and in that moment, so very powerless.

I’ll send to them instead a prayer for peace and connection. I will communicate in other ways, energetically, with love and hope, hope that her shields as mine will drop to reach the heart of not just the matter, but the heart, which rules the mind when we can for a moment set the mind aside.

Ego is fear. Heart is not. Heart is love and I pray for mine to expand into greater tolerance and acceptance with each challenging communication I encounter.

I know my heart, my intent and boundaries. And if communication is the response we get….I’ll work both to hone and improve mine and let go the energies which don’t serve me. I am reminded too that a defensive nature is only a protective measure to our wounded parts. And, I am reminded the power of ‘I’ statements and how we give away our power with statements such as ‘you did this’, ‘you did that’. Just thinking….with some smoke drifting so evidently from my ears!

And, thank you to my distractors, for without the ‘rub’ I’d not have a barometer to so profoundly notice and measure my growth.

Peace.

BB Webb

 

And the world turns. February 25, 2011

I am most definitely aware of my deficiencies. I am also becoming more aware of where I am not so deficient, expecting myself to be good at it all less and less. Oooooh, but I’m a task master to my very own soul.

Oh Popeye….he am what I am what you are. I’m over half a century old and I’m just now getting that. Certainly some shifts and turns one should not work to so ardently pursue, but rather work, I feel, to blossom the areas that need to bloom.

I’d so much rather flower, bloom where I am planted, than work to replant my very nature.

It’s going to be an amazing year. Love, light, abundance and joy.

And so, ooooooh, SO it is. Just watch!

BB Webb

 

We all need a champion! January 23, 2011

I had a young man working in my organization not so long ago. A tall, good looking, sweet and capable young man. He was caught drinking Carl House alcohol on the job. I had to let him go. In letting him go, I offered that I would not abandon him, but rather walk alongside him IF he reached out to me for help. I would not make it easy for him, but would offer support should he ask for it.

I am happy that he has. I had initially told him that I would not employ him again. Given his efforts, I have reconsidered. I feel it is important to guide people toward their own growth, to empower them through encouraging their positive action. I have learned not so much from my successes, but from what brought me TO those successes, which is most often challenge and adversity.

So, thank you tormentors. Thank you. I may not offer to supper with you, but I thank you nevertheless.

Below is his recent letter to me and my response today to him, his name changed of course to protect his privacy.

BB,
I would really appreciate some hours when some become available. I think the carl house could be a very positive atmosphere for me to wrok in. I would really enjoy a chat with you as well. If you would like to set up a meeting if you arent too busy that would be great. I have been continuing my progress of becoming a better person but have hit a few snags along the way and could use some good advice and you have given me some of the best advice i have ever recieved. Its not like i have resorted to drinking, im just kind of lost on a few things. Either email me or call me on either of these subjects.
Thank you,
Joseph


Thanks for reaching out Joseph. I’ll pass the word to Debbie about scheduling you when we can though this is our slow time. If there is other work available, I’ll let you know. Things though are growing since we launched our new website. Have a look, we’re very proud of it. http://www.carlhouse.com

You need to consider a group to check in with Joseph and of course, I’ll be here for you as I can be. Consider an AA group. You don’t have to be a fall down drunk to benefit from these groups, in fact, those of us with mild addictions often have the worse situation as it’s easy to justify why we feel we can handle it all ourselves. We are human and we ALL need support. I struggle with my own issues, we ALL do.

Find a group to visit with before we next meet. Bring the names of 3 or 4 options. You’ll be glad you did and begin to realize you are not alone with the struggles you face.

Consider where YOU might be of service to someone. If you are an animal person, consider giving some of your time to an animal rescue through PetSmart or a similar organization. You never know who you’ll meet who makes a difference in your life and you to them.

We ALL want to make a difference and to be recognized for the beautiful people that we are. And, we all want to make a living to support the dreams we have. It’s a process so be patient. You’re doing better than you know Joseph. Even writing to me is a BIG step.

So, find an AA group to visit, or several and a place to volunteer your time….if only a few hours a week. What you put out to the world WILL come back to you, in the proper time. Be mindful of who you hang out with and consider if they are helping to support the new directions you are wanting to take or not. They needn’t necessarily be BAD people, but question if they are the support network or a group of folks who inspire your movement forward.

Here’s how you can help me. I am looking for a student in film or marketing who is looking for a project for credit and experience at their school. I am embarking on filming some of my stories and am looking for someone to help film and document some goings on at Carl House to showcase on our blogs and newsletters. We have a new website and I have big plans for our growth, our YouTube and other social media outlets a big part of initiating that growth. So, if you know someone who might spend their time with me, I’d be most appreciative.

If you have time on Friday the 28….toward the end of the day, I can schedule some time around 4pm. Let me know. And just keep breathing, be conscience of where you are, where you want to go, ask for guidance from God, the Universe, whatever you believe and KNOW, know for CERTAIN, things WILL improve. It’s a process and it’s all EXACTLY the way it is supposed to be. Keep the faith Joseph and know you are cared for!

Warmly.

BB

There are so many challenges as we grow and unfold. We all have them, our worlds to negotiate. I want the best for this young man. He needs support as we all do. We all need champions in our lives.

I want to help in a bigger way than I feel I presently am. I consider how I might do so in a bigger way. This young man motivates me to find my next direction as well.

Peace and good things to us all.

BB Webb

 

Woman-kind. A gift doubled and squared! January 4, 2011

Three generations! Lucky me!

Our nuclear family, as we all know, is not what Ozzie and Harriet portrayed in the 50s….not one bit. I own and run a special event venue…..a lovely one in fact. I get teary with each bride I send down the aisle….hopeful that what they are putting out to the Universe, hopes, dreams what-have-you….might blister….bad word, unfold with beauty and ease.

More often than not, the unfolding of any relationship HAS its blisters. Yep, part of the learning curve. Our options though are numerous (as women) compared to the days when Mr. Cleaver, “Beaver’s Dad’, ran the roost.

Last evening I spent my time with a cackle (the words bouncing in my head this evening surprise me)….I meant that in the most affectionate terms, me one of the ‘cacklers’….a cackle of women related through love, chance encounters, marriage, divorce.

Sweet Emily....from 8 years old to 21 in a blink!

Pictured below is my former husband’s other former wife, (we call one another ‘wife in laws’) and his mother, in the pretty bow….and his former wife’s (not me, the other one), mother and my lovely step daughter who will always be my step daughter. A finer group of women I’ve chance to meet.

Oh....the places we've gone, the places we'll go!

We have one man in common who is ‘Dad’, ‘son’, ‘son-in-law’, was ‘husband’ now ‘former husband’ to us separately. He brought us all together. I’m grateful for these big hearts who welcomed me into their fold. I welcome their friendship as my relationship with the father of her children, the son to his mom, the Daddy to one precious child and son-in-law, shifted places and roles in my world. These ladies, their love toward me….I’ve found is not conditional. Wow! Nooooo, really, WOW!

These are women big of heart, loving despite their own trials and to me very, very special indeed.

Hats off to the ladies who lunch, dinner, drink and stay together! You are always and forever welcome, whereever I am.

With love,

BB Webb

 

New Year, New Stories, New Intentions….the Works January 1, 2011

If you’ve been reading my blog awhile, you’ll know perhaps that one of MY favorite things, on this earthly planet, is time alone, snugged in my bed in the morning, computer on my lap and a cup of joe by my side. Learning to be by oneself, relish the moments, taking the time to be with yourself, is a gift for sure.

When I was in the ‘midst’ of graduating from high school, my very best friend at the time, (Liz is still one of my dearest), wrote me a lovely letter which though I’m not one to gather and collect such things, I somehow wish I still had. She wrote to me of the importance of learning to enjoy ones own company, the solitude, the peace, learning to live without the entertainment, company, distractions of others.

Brother Johnny!

I grew up the youngest of three children, brothers just older enough to not be a part of their ‘friend crowd’. When my parents divorced (I was 12) and my mother built an A Frame in the forest and my brothers were off to private school living elsewhere….I was the ‘only’ child. I came to love the company of my animals (we always had several and then, 2 dogs, a cat and 2 goats as I recall)! I’d take long treks in the field beyond the forest where we lived to walk in the violet patches, gather forest plants to make terrariums, bring my paints into the field, (followed by all my four footers) and paint what I saw in the distance.

My eldest brother Jeffery, presented with a photo of himself as a wee one!

These were I find later, important times and my dear friend Liz was correct, learning to be alone was an acquired skill and a gift.

I know as well the absolute gift of both friends and family.

I spent last evening in the company of another dear friend, Janice and her family and friends, eating Moroccan food, sipping wine and sharing stories. I consider this morning where I feel I want to spend my time in this new year. I have weathered some emotional, financial and business storms these last few years, enormously grateful for what that time has taught me. I am more certain of my own abilities and strengths and places where I choose not to tarry. I am less triggered by others, their thoughts of me, my choices or how I choose to live my life. And I feel a connection to heart, mine and the hearts of others in new ways.

I am clear of the opportunities presented to us daily to choose, choose to be right or loving, rested or weary, uplifted or defeated….it’s so clearly up to us. I am choosing some exciting movement for this new year, eager to share the fruits of both my creativity and labor. I envision fun, fond creations, love at every turn and enormous prosperity.

It’s a choice. So here we go.

I wish you all good, your hearts desire, the ability for you to listen to your heart and always, always, great love. For without love and the expression of our own innate creativity, however it is manifest, why heavens would we tarry a minute on this earth?!

Passion, peace, joy, creativity, love, fun and the fulfillment of our heart’s desire!

A New Year of the most delectable sorts to one and all. Go for it! Swiiiing it baby….do!!

With love,

BB Webb