BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Pre-conception Kills March 29, 2011

I try not to judge though I have my preconceptions and certainly prejudices. Or, is it preferences?

pick your poison or your remedy toward life...

My mother was the absolute LEAST judgmental person I’ve yet to meet. She could poke fun at herself though ALWAYS found something to praise in EVERYONE. And, when I had a crisis to face in my life….life IS full of them, she was patient, rational and even-headed.

Her resource directory, remedy bag, was perhaps not as abundant as mine, as I had (have) a world view that expands her perimeters. I’ve found possibility and solutions with actions she’d never consider. But, she’s the one who gave me the courage to search and search as I do, until I get the answer I need… or better.

And if you’ve read his blog for even a short piece of time, you’ll know that I’m ALL for BETTER!

So, I’m still looking for some things, some people, some ideas, some ways of being, attitudes and actions to serve me best, (and the world’s) highest good. And I work….I endeavor to catch myself when I am being less than loving, judgmental or stuck on only one perception as I journey forward.

I consider what if I were that person; what might make them act the way they do, where do they hurt, fear, what is their outrage or sorrow? We all have them….especially fear and lack of knowing.

I’ll send love and compassion out to those folks this evening. And for me to be understanding of them.

And I’ll keep searching til the right people, places, remedies, things, magic, which meets my vision, meets my heart.

There is, to me, no other way.

Anything less is an abomination to my soul.

And might I work to be loving as I traverse this planet boldly meeting others, finding the miracles, medicine, means, that suit me best.

And, may there be ample grace, certainly coming from me, along the path.

BB Webb

 

Worth repeating. March 25, 2011

Be the change….

Be the change….

Be the change….

Symbols everywhere. Open those precious eyes. It’s all here for us. Be the change you want to see!

Be the change.

Really, all one has to do to transform their life, is remind themselves to think and behave a little bit differently, each day.

Rainbows,
The Universe

With love, BB Webb

 

It’s all in the timing December 14, 2010

There is SO much to share, so much to write about….and at the moment, as I work toward the end of what has been one HECK of a year….I have little time for my favorite pass time (Interesting expressing that…’pass time’). I wonder with that….if I’m correct with that expression. My sister-in-law told me once that her father, from Poland, thought that folks were referring to the object that fried eggs as a ‘fly pan’, not a ‘fry pan’. Words….I love them.

And with that…little time at the moment for the many words I wish to type here to share the more than many ideas, thoughts, musings vying for attention in my brain.

Finding My Twirl, Photo by Sarah Eubanks Photography

But, I have a plan….an exit and entrance plan to endeavors desired. One key objective is the taping of stories for You Tube and that project starts in January so I hope you’ll stay tuned. There is much to twirl about!

In the meantime, know that stories are mounting, scenes are being written in my head, directed by my soul, manifest through my fingers on my keyboard.

I’m taking it ALL in…..every ounce….not dropping one eyedropper of content firing across my chest, within my heart. It’s all there wanting to be expressed and will be!

For now….sorting, throwing away, shifting, opening, traversing a bit I go. And I look forward to when this horse spirit emerges from the shoot. Oh, such a happy day that will be.

For now, gratitude for all the scenes, all the experiences for my screen play of life. Rich indeed. And thank you, MUCH gratitude for the people, desired or not crossing my path, showing up as folks my soul has called for each and every experience.

And so it is. I’m thankful. And so it is.

With love for all things….even the ones that BITE!

BB Webb

 

Entrances and Exits…Tender is the Day December 9, 2010

There has been much shifting afoot and ‘things’ seem to be sorting themselves out, though certainly not always with total ease. My friend Karen, (beloved wife of my now deceased and treasured mentor Tony Montanaro) yesterday sent me this quote…..

“I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees.” Pablo Neruda

She as a friend and certainly Tony in his ways, did just that….helped me to blossom in a way as Carl Jung shared, ‘guiding someone gently into themselves’. To me, there is the where the blossom occurs….within.

She shared her thought that, ‘The inability to express love, leads to the inability to experience love.’

So, how do we best love….ourselves and others?

Karen and I can in a moment enter hungerly into our own brand of spiritual and metaphysical contemplation. She’s a gift, a jewel of easy connection in my world. Together we find comfort in being able to connect thoughts and ideas with what is important to each of us. Our thinking gravitates most often to our human need to give and receive love, our (universal, I’ll submit) desire to be seen, (all of us), for who we are, (appreciated, respected and valued for that as well) and most of all, our human need to be creative, which certainly drives the two of us.

I’m considering this morning how to live both authentically, in a way which makes sense and feels right within my skin, while allowing others to be who they are WHILE respecting differences in others, endeavoring to not offend ANYone. I clearly am not perfect at this.

Tony Montanaro

This notion leads me to my fascination with entrances and exits, or transitions in life. How do we enter and exit people’s lives, our day, our sorrows, fears and joys.

I had a boyfriend, a most gifted performer. As we worked in the studio in Tony Montanaro’s Maine so many years ago, I remember Robert working on a sketch where he played different characters entering and exiting a room. Some were hysterical, others stunning in how they captured a moment, a secret microscope of sorts on the life of Everyman or Anyman.

I consider with this the awkwardness of many of my mostly exits with people, jobs, chance encounters. Not everyone WILL understand why I or you or anyone does whatEVER they do, but I’ll venture to say, that deep to the core of each of us, here’s my Pollyanna at her best, there is a notion of goodness and outside of all the protective barrier, a simple child of the Universe, wanting to be loved, seen, heard and valued.

I consider this as I enter into my day with the intention of being loving.

Go tender into your day and feel perhaps your own value and know that you are loved.

This is our birthright really.

With love, BB Webb

 

General…..Manager? Thank You Betty White! November 21, 2010

A major ‘aha’….(they’re coming like popcorn kernels these days) hit me like a small stone on the head this morning. I’ve felt changes brewing within a lot over the last weeks and months….(I’ve had a direction in mind for quite some time)…but of late, I’m being ‘popped’ around quite a bit and that’s fine…I can handle it. And, I’m listening. I am.

As I organize my ‘to dos’…..(there were 43 I targeted last evening, small and not so small ones…I try never to have more than my age!!), and pulled back to look at the bigger picture which I enjoy in my life, I know for sure that though I am responsible for ALL the details in my company, (and have a high expectation of working toward perfect…no chastising now, I know that’s not possible….though the intent drives one in that direction), I know that the headiness of that intent is on ME as owner and creator of that enterprise though I know FULL and WELL that I do not thrive on MANAGING those details.

So….the plan, creating processes, procedures and protocol to work in that direction to then get another person to do that job, and please, much better than me….which really shouldn’t be that hard….though with my passion for it all, or vision, probably not. I’ve been a step parent and though I have no children of my own, I do love what I consider ‘mine’ and our baby is always more precious than someone else’s. Just is.

So, my path is before me and I will not let my vision nor intentions go amuck with distractions unworthy of my true heart and spirit…and how easy it is for both to become squashed by the world, by people, intentional or not. We must all protect what is true FOR US. This morning….I GET that. No need for approval and certainly no need for others opinions or need for approval on what is right FOR YOU! Got it.

So, when shopping last week, taking a moment of a semi day off to do the domestic things that need be done in my world, I saw actress Betty White’s book, ‘Here We Go Again’ and took it off the shelf. I’ve been a non-reader for awhile, my many moments usurped with all manner of OTHER things. I’m not sure why I was drawn to her book other than I feel she exemplifies a positivity I admire, a spirit, a tenacity in gracious terms and a model of how to live a life (I suspected) with a scintillating verve and heart, openness. And, she grew up and helped influence a field of entertainment to which I wish to venture. I admire especially her ‘live’ work. Chutzpa she’s GOT!

And, I yearn for older female models as I feel in many ways life is taking a turn for me in directions I’ve long awaited. I can feel my readiness mounting. For me, I am finding, little else matters except following these calls of passion!

Photo by Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com

Her book, an easy, fun read, taking my mind off a preponderance of ‘heavy’ to which I need relief from regularly. And this morning, laughing as I drink coffee in my cozy bed, all four footers outside giving me peace and quiet, I am relishing her stories of early television in our country, the live programming and improvisations performed. I am working to carve out time for my own writing and on screen or stage creations…..my heart and intellect gravitates there.

And then I came upon a quote from a colleague of hers who wrote, “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.’

I laughed out loud for a solid thirty seconds. indeed!! Let others decide how the world should be run, give up the struggle ‘Dorothy’, and continue marching to your own drum beat. Leggo needing to arrange the entire universe in a way that seems fit FOR YOU, Ms. BB!

And with that, for now, I prefer my own company as my tendency (with all this GM-ing of late) is to direct, lead, opinionate, judge.

What truly do I have authority over or control?? Very, very little.

I feel the need to meditate on that thought so I might resonate with that truth when I am out and about in the various areas of my world. But for now, with gate shut, doors locked, quiet surrounding me…..I find this hibernating zone, perfect, desired and RIGHT……for me!

So from my nest here, alone, in perfect solitude, I rest my case to myself….as I softly whittle away at the dreams which ignite and inspire ME. The other ants on this earth mound, have at it. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way. Thank you for allowing me mine!

Such a morning it is!!

With gratitude, and love, always. Good intentions to everyone and might we all find our own peace within this world.

BB Webb

 

About Face, Facebook…and other ‘Not So Honeymoon Tales’ November 20, 2010

I’m working on a new talk which I’m eager to get out and about throughout not just my neck of the woods, in and around Atlanta, but globally somehow. And yes, in PERSON, not just over the Internet Super Highway!

I believe in FACE to FACE communications! With that, I’ll be speaking about how we relate to one another in this day in age….how things have changed with the advent of the internet. There have been positive changes and I feel there have been LESS than positive changes afoot.

I’m embroiled in a not so favorable result of such ‘non face-to-face’ communication despite my efforts. It’s all so absolutely unnecessary but none-the-less, where I sit TODAY.

My talk will speak on keeping things personable, but not taking things so PERSONALLY. Having taken an enormous financial risk beginning my business seven and a half years ago, and having put in a copious number of hours of unimaginable sweat equity, and doing so even these seven and a half years later, it’s challenging at times for me to NOT take things personally. My business in a sense is ‘my baby’.

I revel most in the lessons learned and give thanks to each and every lesson which comes my way….and I’ll say ‘lucky me’ as they come nearly daily if I am paying attention. I endeavor to be part of good SOLUTIONS, not contribute more to heady, unnecessary PROBLEMS!

I personally have experienced (lately), the assault of internet communication and thrashing over Facebook and other wedding websites by a client. This particular (now former) client, has never met me in person, has never taken the time to set an appointment with me or answer my email or offer through her mother to call me, (as suggested) so I might PERSONALLY handle any disruption or miscommunication. Instead, this person who contracted with me has banned with her family and made the choice to bad mouth me, my company and my hard working team on FACEBOOK.

I’ve said it before and will repeat, I (as my team) are far from perfect, but anyone with an ounce of reasonable-ness will know very quickly that our intent is to serve and to exceed expectations.

I wonder if I were to sit with this young person, to look into her eyes, to understand her needs, fears, concerns and challenges in life, I wonder if I might be able to speak with her woman to woman to gain a mutual respect and compassion.

I wonder too if she might better ‘GET’ that my working on average 12-15 hours a day, often 7 days a week, that I am serious about doing good business. I wonder if she might better realize that borrowing LARGE amounts of money to start a company, that as a single woman who has a passion for serving people, I’m not out to do anyone a disservice, but much to the contrary, I have put everything at risk to do right by people!

I am concerned that this group of much younger people, accustomed to online communication and not the face-to-face sort I grew up with, do not consider the good manners of communication and how careless rants and thrashings of an individual or business can impact many lives. I’m uncertain why people choose to judge and hate, to wallow in the negative, unwilling to work toward positive resolution, especially when a conversation and willingness is offered them.

I feel they use their power recklessly and that sadly it won’t serve them well as they move forward in life. This saddens me deeply.

I consider too the people I’ll reach from this incident now that I have been impacted. The positive changes I might make now that I am personally aware of the hurt and damage this cowardice, you might call it, can do, instead of choosing to engage instead in respectable, courteous communication, one-on-one.

I am thankful to know who I am, strengths and weaknesses and to feel the rally of my colleagues, mentors, community leaders, clients and team.

I don’t and won’t play at that level, though I promise those whose livings, whose future events, the banks and service providers who I support through my business, (and rely on), that I will not sit quietly when the host of people I support is challenged.

Would this person act more considerately, kindly, professionally, respectably if they knew the heart of my intent and good will? Perhaps if she’d had the wherewithal to contact me personally, she might, but sadly that opportunity was forfeited and her comments directed to bad mouth me and my good name and that of my company was her choice.

I regret her unwillingness to work toward positive resolution. In the end I send only healing thoughts and a heightened consciousness to someone filled with such hatefulness and anger. It’s ironic to me as well, when people come to me with their entitlement and anger and then seem compelled to mention that they are ‘good Christians’.

This is perhaps one of the reasons I’m not much of a ‘joiner’. I’d rather someone walk with me throughout a day or week or month and THEN, then, when they have seen better who I am, feel free to judge, but kindly do me the respect to at least sit with me first in conversation, look into my eyes, find out a little who I am.

Good will to the world! We certainly need it. And Facebook….about Face to you….might you be used to create friends and alliances, not to destroy the potential for humanity to come together in good ways.

As a side note…I was asked by a National Magazine, ‘Perfect Wedding Guide’ to speak on this very topic in March. I’m so very HONORED to do so. Stay tuned as there is more, more and even MORE to come.

And thank you for these tormenters for prompting this initiative in me. I will ALWAYS find a silver lining. And I’m WELL aware, that it’s a choice to do so!

BB Webb

 

The Real Reason November 13, 2010

I was reminded as I sat quietly this early morning….a full day ahead of me of relative freedom….

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.

— Max Ehrmann, 1927

So, might we all strive to be happy….with what is, with who we are. Perhaps the REAL reason we are here on this very planet.
I have my moments.
Thank you J. xo

BB Webb
Photo credit: Forever Endeavors

 

Men…..Women, Hearts and Minds September 12, 2010

We all know we are different, men and women. I’m thinking today about really how we are the same, though come at our desires and needs differently. I’ll venture to say that even with sexuality, with a commensurate blend of mind and heart, men AND women seek fulfillment of pleasure, (yep, satisfaction) and connection there as well. We however need those parts satisfied in perhaps different ways, but not SO different I’ll postulate. Just thinking. (Ha)! Mind. Heart.

As a woman, I know I need to feel connection and do so through heart, dialogue, seeing someone’s eyes, listening, talking, surrounding myself with empathic folk. That’s me and many of the women and honestly, more conscious men in my circle of influence.

Our culture is high on the 3rd chakra scale…and if you don’t know what that is, look it up, they are wheels of energy, measurable energetically just as organs in our body are, spheres of energy that work within us and if they are too big (energetically speaking), turned slightly askew, (again, energetically), they can mess with our sense of well being.

(Quick side note, children historically placed on Ritalin when taught to mindfully control the energetic size of specific chakras, have managed their energy and thus behaviors differently and have been successfully taken off medication).


I know this is a tad ‘out there’ for some of you and forgive me that I have no greater language for this field of study, though I’ve studied and practiced manipulating these energies and it’s real and it’s powerful.

But back to men and women, one of my favorite topics and not much explored here (yet) in this blog. We all have a brain and logic and a heart and feeling, though the male and female brains work differently, the combination of the two, I feel, is key for a healthy and balanced WE….as far as any of us can COME to balance.

When I consider our relative dis-ease in the world these days, again, our culture being excessively ‘mind-y’….I think that perhaps we often look too hard in ONE direction and maybe not enough in another.

I had the rare privilege to partake in a poker evening with my new friend and his 6 male chums in a garage tucked away in the suburbs of Georgia. Such an enlightening experience to tuck my head in, play some cards and be a part of their world….all fascinating really. It held my interest longer than I thought it might…..mostly in seeing how we all dart and dodge, choose and pick our degree of intimacy, friendship, transparency, intensity, our lobbying (I’m talking me here as well….) for our attentions, to be heard, seen, recognized for who we are all the while playing our safe hiding games.

And then there is the unconscious in all of us.

I continue to want more than might be considered someone’s ‘share’…I allude to it as my ‘MORE’. I’m not ashamed. I don’t want a pallid existence and I want to taste a great many things….all that I might feel, yes even the uncomfortable stuff, which I find that if I make it real, I can then move past it to something more preferable. Preferable is good!

I wondered at the lives of these several men, all full of piss and vinegar and all that testosterone. I’m used to such a gang growing up with all brothers and all boy cousins. I’ve a good measure (I think….maybe), of mind-y and heart but a similar knee jerk reaction to things that sting….not always willing to just be with the feeling, consider what someone else is sharing, breathe and listen.

I could see the same with these fine men.

I wondered at the lives they live, their marriages, if they are fulfilled in their day to day. I expect a lot from myself and my quality of connection with people who matter to me.

How humbling to feel my own fears when trying to truly connect, hoping to be open, mindfully vulnerable, though know certainly we all have not always been met with understanding or open arms. So, we each develop brakes which we employ when newness insists on taking us past our comfort zones.

I hope to be an example, a mirror of openness despite my trepidations.

And, don’t we all deserve our preferences. I think so! Mine always changing as my heart (okay, and mind), will allow!

I rally for more open hearts as I’ve felt the difference in being right vs. being loving.

I’ll work to stay loving.

And thank the special people showing up in my life for being so as well.

BB Webb

(And, Happy Birthday and fond memories to my first dog, Peter PIper Shiningcliff Banta, a West Highland White Terrier. Piper would have been 48 years old tomorrow, that’s 336 in doggie years. That sweet pup taught me what a true friend is).

 

Deleting she did go. September 11, 2010

I woke this morning, oooooh, after a long and luxurious sleep, my favorite…to a kind, thoughtful, sweet and loving note from a new friend.

It was so different from the sort of communiques I’ve received over the past many years….in many ways. I sat with it, considering the sort of person who might write such a thoughtful paragraph of prose. I considered the heart, life experience, understanding of me and perhaps the Universe that such an epistle might suggest.

I sat with those sweet thoughts quite awhile, silently, (or as silent as my mind will let me sit), sipping at my coffee, enjoying the comfort of a morning to myself with no ‘work-work’ I HAD to tend to…I sat and let the thoughts, my world, my memories, drift over and through me.

And in an instant, in my own BB way….I jumped into action, and began deleting names from my address book. Why have I kept the names of hurtful people in my Blackberry??? Sincerely!! Out went names of colleagues, ‘friends’, former lovers, folks who serve me no longer…clearly taking up too much of my coveted electronic band width!

This reminded me of a time when my brother noticed me going through a box of old love notes from boyfriends and dear friends in my past. Sweet notes of affection and friendship from throughout the years, my travels, my experiences. I shared a few with him, he a man soulfully married since he was 22 or 23….

‘Why are you throwing these out sis? You need to save these, they’re great love notes and memories of friends.’

‘I like to move forward,’ I responded. ‘I have those memories in my heart.’

‘Really!’ he looked at me incredulous.

‘Sure….they’ve made me who I am today, greater evidence than a piece of paper.’

‘But what if no one loves you that way again.’

I remember looking him squarely in the eyes, my five years junior overshadowing his naivete.

‘Jeffrey, of course I’ll be loved again, in news ways and perhaps BETTER! However could I live thinking I would not!’ I gently stroked his arm and smiled.

‘l’ll take my chances.’

Funny all that…. surprises ’round every corner, all to be enjoyed for the moments, days, months or years they will allow.

Appreciating and enjoying each moment, I feel, is key. I’m not yet perfected in this area, though I endeavor to try!

And, I’ve found today, the great liberation in shucking the folks who just don’t serve me well. No anger, bitterness, heat toward any of it, I won’t spend my energy there. But dissolved go they with a small prayer of thanks for the lessons learned and the foresight to ‘leggo Dorothy, leggo’.

Peace.

My memory of the small shards of paper strewn everywhere at the 9/11 site just after the travesty. That memory and the many, many notes upon the wall from loved ones, loved ones mourning the loss, better seeing the import of such friendships, loves, alliances, in their absence. Life spins so quickly on. Might we abandon of our safety valves. Please.

To those souls from only 9 years past, peace to you and all who loved you and…
love from me.

Yes, simply, emphatically, MORE peace and love, MORE, MORE…..
MORE……please.

Love,

BB Webb

 

Letter to the Editor… July 9, 2010

Sometimes you just have to speak out…..

Carl House under construction 7 years ago!

Letter to the Editor:

I’m writing in response to the letter written by Bob Richardson to the editor regarding the house under construction on 16 Homer Street, the house currently with a blue tarp on the roof in Maysville. As a citizen also concerned with assuring that our towns and cities are well kept, I encourage Mr. Richardson, or other citizens who are upset with the aforementioned property ‘in transition’ to consider another perspective. Seven years ago, I restored an antebellum style home in the small town of Carl, Georgia. As with any creative project, chaos ensues before the completion of ANY vision. As a business owner I know this as well. My surrounding little town is far from beautiful yet, but I have a vision for what it will look like in time.

Back Property Disrepair

Seven years ago my property too was in major disrepair. I know what it’s like to have stalled bank funding, (and in this economy it’s even more challenging). I know what it’s like to have unreliable workers that can halt a construction project. I also know what it’s like to risk all that you have in an effort to restore, rebuild and beautify a property and a town. My project turned into what is now an award winning event venue of which I am proud, but getting there was not easy nor inexpensive. My community has benefited from my vision and tenacity to see a very challenging project to completion.

Consider please, concerned citizen, the risks taken by the person whose property is currently in disrepair. Kindly consider his or her situation before you rally your complaints and judgments. I suggest finding who this person is, who has bravely taken it upon themselves to improve your community. Instead, consider seeing how you might assist them in their efforts. The bank may be the culprit in stalling a loan, the owner of the house may have fallen ill.

A vision conceived.

I know how quick we all are to judge from time to time, though how different our communities might be if we instead pull together, rally in support of others. The possibilities when changing our perspective and attitudes might literally, change the world. I say, go for it and you’ll be pleasantly surprised with what your changed thinking might create.

And, my hat’s off to the owner of that property. Should you read this, please feel free to contact me at bbwebb@carlhouse.com should you need assistance in seeing your project through to completion. How brave of you to in this economy have taken on such a noble undertaking.

(Bottom photo by Yeakle Photography)

By BB Webb