BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Abandon of the Safety Valve….Value You! June 30, 2009

Filed under: People I Admire,Possibility and Intention,Reflection,The Arts — BB Webb @ 6:32 pm

Years ago I stumbled upon a print of a painting by an artist I now love, Man Ray.
Man Ray
Admiration of the Orchestrelle for the Cinematograph
Man Ray (American, 1890-1976)

Some thinking on the piece which I ‘pieced’ together online and just below, the song it inspired me to write nearly 20 years ago…..I can hardly TELL you how appropriate the song is to me today…in so MANY areas of my life. Clearly some angel channeled it to me to write those several decades ago. (I’m obviously fast at learning SOME things, and notably remedial at others….see my recent post, ‘Late Blooming and Dear Friends’).

Man Ray wrote that by this time he had realized that he wanted to find a new way of making and seeing art, freeing himself from the conventions of his time and the artist’s traditional baggage of paints, brushes and canvases. For some years he had worked in the advertising field as a mechanical draftsman, and he had learned, among other techniques, the use of the airbrush. In 1917 he applied it to his art in the making of aerographs, as they are generally known, which seem infused with breath and light.

In Man Ray’s drawing, not subject and object but subject and structure are one…Man Ray also takes his sexual interpretation of the machine. The female ‘Orchestrelle’ leans over invitingly to the beaming Cinematograph. ‘ABANDON OF THE SAFETY VALVE’ trails through the air like one of those advertising slogans still to be seen pulled by turning aircraft, but a novelty then. And in a strip up the side of the drawing, even, passion begins rising, then reaches climax and crosses the edge of the sheet.

The figurative elements in Admiration of the Orchestrelle for the Cinematograph (1919) look like two umbrellas, or one umbrella and the sort of morning-glory-shaped horn used to amplify records on a Victrola, or the most elemental shapes that might suggest a dancer, skirts twirling. A simple sans serif text in white spiraling up and outward into pictorial space reads: ‘ABANDON OF THE SAFETY VALVE,’ perhaps a description of the dancing figures of tightrope walkers, or a nod to the working progress of a life in the modern arts, or both.

His line inspired a song I wrote for my one woman play, Through Ruby’s Eyes, entitled, ‘You Gotta Wait’. The chorus reads….

You gotta wait, and it’ll come to you,
be patient too, be patient too,
it’s alright, it’s okay,
Abandon of the safety valve,
Value You,
Value You,
Come on baby let it all come true,
believe in, believe in, believe in you, you, you!

And how appropriate for where I am today….art inspiring life, inspiring art, inspiring life….and so the circle goes….in a twirl and a twirl and a twirl… passion giving life, creating passion, creating life….creating passion…

There are some wonderful energetic shifts happening on our planet right now…some interesting commentary from a rather ‘gifted’ woman who seems in touch with worlds I perhaps don’t see as clearly….yet. Her column is called, ‘Emerging Earth Angels’. Perhaps not for everyone, but I enjoy her perspectives with my interest in worlds I can’t see with my eyes. I feel them. She’s more often than not been ‘dead on’ with what I’m experiencing. Apparently our summer solstice brought in a vibrational wave of energy that is shifting our world. I certainly feel it with the recent eruptions in my day to day routine.

‘The solstice, as it usually does, shook things up for many. Much that had still not left its old and familiar groove, was suddenly usurped and thrown up in the air, creating sudden losses, catastrophes, and instant changes of direction. Energies (within individuals) that had not yet made their decisions, were now very suddenly forced to look at things, address things, and make some kind of change or decision. The solstice on June 21 was indeed a catalyst for many, and it succeeded it creating new growth and movement at different levels….

The new reality is very new indeed. It is a blank canvas waiting for our artist brushes to apply the paint, guiding the colors oh so precisely in order to create whatever we choose. It is indeed empty now, so that we can start very new…all over again from scratch. So even though we may have the paint and the brush, it is up to us to decide what we are going to paint…

Surrendering can help in identifying our new direction. Allowing it to unfold while being willing to accept things grander than we have ever imagined, and that were seemingly not our idea, can help as well. This is because we are stepping into the next phase of our soul shoes, and this next phase is amazing, grand, and allows us to become so much more of our original soul blue print and intention. This next phase is what we really came here for. It is absolutely finally time. It is the fun and juicy part.’

And WOW, has MY world been erupting over the last several weeks and bigger than ever THIS week. Hold onto your hats folks….this ain’t yer ordinary solstice. This ain’t your ordinary time in history!

Let the new and better times roll! I’m all about fun and juicy!!! ‘Bout time now….. it’s ’bout time!

And so it is! With gratitude for it all!!

BB Webb

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A Note on Strength June 29, 2009

Filed under: Business,Friends,People I Admire,Reflection — BB Webb @ 10:28 pm

I’m attracted to strength. I’ve confused other things with strength in the past though. I don’t mean muscles, (though I appreciate a fine physique), and I certainly don’t mean bullishness. (Insecurity and ego ultimately). There is a heartfulness in true strength, a kind of compassion and openness. There is also a humbleness in strength.

I’m a leader in training, trying to find my way despite countless flaws. I have a patient business coach, (Brian Patrick Cork) who to me exemplifies the kind of strength I admire. He marches to the beat of his own drum, something I relate to for sure. And fortunately I feel I can throw out any part of who I am and he volleys back to me in a way that doesn’t trigger me, make me defensive, (usually) and I tend to feel supported instead of beaten up after his rather frank dialogues and assessments of how I might have handled a given business situation better. He supports the good, bad and really ugly situations I have been finding myself in of late. I like that. I’ve not had much of that in my life.

I’ve lived with and grew up with some bully strength and hate to admit that I am prone to similar behavioral outbursts from time to time, mostly when I feel pushed or shoved. This behavior was clearly a survival strategy at one point in my life. (I also grew up a ‘blocker’ on the defensive with two older brothers who made the space under our dining room table ‘the jail’ and guess who spent much of her childhood there)! It made me cheeky, saucy in a way where I knew I could survive whatever came my way. And I have. But I’m not interested JUST in survival anymore. I prefer to thrive and there is a big difference.

Brain asked me in my coaching session today if I wanted to do theatre again, theatre being my background. I think he asked that in that I’m feeling presently challenged by some things in my current Carl House business. I have never wanted to go back to anything I’ve done.

Theatre was a building block for where I am now. And where I am now is a building block for where I’m headed.

I have a feel for what’s ahead, some plans, a beginning strategy but know, as part of the creative process that I’ve embraced since I was young, my ‘plan’ is merely a beginning compass, where it takes me is unknown. To me that is the BEAUTY of the creative process. So, no, I clearly don’t agree with all traditional business methodology, though do admire the folks, like Brian, who have traveled through their own adversity to create something right for themselves.

I value all my experiences. I honestly do. I know if I’m paying attention that I’ll learn something and I’m humbled on a daily basis.

But back to strength. I’m a strong willed woman and despite my own set of weaknesses and challenges, I don’t believe in limits. Where I might have had to prove something in the past, I feel differently at this stage in my life. The strength I might muster serves to fulfill more a sense of purpose that brought me onto the planet.

(That clearly sounds like horseshit). I don’t know how else to say it.

But that is how I feel AND as I’ve said on this blog just days ago, it’s difficult for me to do what I don’t want to do. By that I mean, it has to make sense. I do things often which I’d rather delegate to someone else, but as the owner of Carl House going through growth and positive change, from time to time I have to be more hands on than I want to be. I’m more a vision person and though I want the details exact, I don’t thrive being mired in the day to day.

Though similarly, as a parent you change diapers and look forward to when your kids can walk and talk. It’s all part of the process and at some point we all need to take responsibility for things at a different level. It’s part of the package and the creative growth process. And so am I.

That being said, I appreciate a presence who can call me on my own B.S. or shortcomings and who might guide me toward better choices, and yep, here it comes, with love. My friend 2Lu is a savvy business owner and leader and I feel as though both Brian and 2Lu sit atop my shoulders guiding, coaxing, laughing at stupid stuff I do and encourage me along the way.

I appreciate a good debate, a heated dialogue, disagreement and foremost passion. And I appreciate someone seeing things that I can’t see from my perspective.

I can certainly benefit from seeing things from other people’s point of view more. Business isn’t a democracy and I’m finding that without cultivating a solid culture within your organization and protocol, (I hear Brian’s words), clear policies and procedures, you’re sunk. The leader drives the vision and it’s all implemented through said policies and procedures.

These learnings are all fodder for my upcoming PBS television series, ‘Savvy Women: Redefining Business.’ I’m on the road to ‘savvy’, navigating through many potholes on the way. It’s challenging more often than not, but uplifting when a milestone is hit. And what lessons the dip in our economy has given many of us who were trolling along during opulent times, not knowing what we didn’t know.

So, thank you to the folks who can hold a space for who I am and who with their attention and care, help me become more of who I’ve the potential to be. I hope I might contribute to others in such a way. I’m most grateful for their example!

BB Webb

 

Why I Prefer Animals to People June 28, 2009

Filed under: Friends,People I Admire,Reflection — BB Webb @ 11:14 pm

Well, to start, we speak the same language. How do I explain that. I ‘get’ them…most of the time, unless they are overly domesticated….you know, the fat yappy ones with the overly coiffed hairdos. I take care of quite a few animals…..3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 very friendly plump goldfish.  My pups, (well, 10 year old pups now), Ernie, Bert, (brothers) to their Mama, Bonnie, (who I took in as a stray 10 years ago; three days after joining my home she had 6 puppies)!

Camera Shy Bonnie, the Mama

Camera Shy Bonnie, the Mama

And no, I’m not a Sesame Street fan, just named the litter, Bert, Lily, Charlie, Susie, Ernie, etc. I knew I was going to keep Ernie.

Happy Boy Ernie

Happy Boy Ernie

Ernie was the only buckskin little boy in the litter and when calling to all of the puppies from a porch high above the yard where I kept them, he was the only one to look up when I called, ‘puppies, oooooh puppies.’ I just knew he was a ‘meant-to-be-er’ in my world. I found homes for all the rest except shy Bert who would hide under my sofa.

I decided to keep him as well and oooooh, I’m glad I did. He’s my renagade and adventure scout and athlete. He brings me gifts at every turn, stuffed animals, socks. Even if I’m gone just in the other room and return to where he is, he’ll find a gift and bring it to me, with that wide grin he has. (though he decided not to smile in this photo). He’s my boy. It’s difficult for me to see them gray…knowing they will leave this earth no doubt before me. I will be inconsolable. They’ve become my regular family. My pack.

Noble Bert

Noble Bert

I had a psychic woman once ask me, ‘do you have a dark dog, brown or black.’ I said, ‘well yes, I do, two who are brown and black.’ ‘Does one lean on you.’ I laughed out loud. ‘Why yes, my Bertie leans on me when I’m brushing my teeth or on the rare occasion when I allow him to sit with me on the sofa.’ ‘He’s absorbing negative energy from you….from ikky things that might have happened throughout the day.’ 

As I recall, he did a lot of leaning on me over the last year or so.  I’ve had a lot of ‘ikky’ energy passing through!

That reminded me of a time when I was going through one hollabaloo or another. I was feeling rather sad, out of sorts, one of those hopeless evenings we find ourselves in from time to time, (or is it just me? I doubt it). I was lying on my bed and he jumped up, (my dogs aren’t allowed on my bed) and layed totally atop my body, like a blanket. I remember feeling incredibly supported. He stayed there for about 5 minutes and then left. I’ll never forget that. He’s indeed my special boy. A fence will never confine him so I’ve given up on that. I try to corral him as best I can, as there are laws in my territory, but he is a free spirit and I relate to that. And he’s loving and I am so happy to have him in my life.

More on the others another time. There are Lester and Annie, (abandoned kitties I found in an old truck who I bottle fed back to life); Lester was named after a favorite handyman of mine, a fellow who helped me bury several pets who came and went in my life. We’d create grand ceremonies with incense and little poems I’d written honoring my lost loved ones, my dear pets. I’d adorn the mounds of dirt with flowers and dog bones or cat vittles. I’d bury my little friends in their favorite ‘blankies’ with their favorite toys. Together we’d send well wishes and prayers for safe travels into their afterlives. Les was more than a handyman, he was another one of those angels that appears momentarily in your life.

My other kitty, Wylie-Pete, Petey for short, was named after an acupuncture friend of mine…I just loved her name. I found Petey and his brother June (short for Junior), in a barbershop. (I’m a nickname person. I could find a nickname for orange. A sign of affection….’Orangy-smarngy, sweetie pie!’). (well, that is stretching it a bit).

The Tao: Lester and Petey

The Tao: Lester and Petey

June I suspect was eaten by coyotes. We have them where I live. June was an orange kitty, butterscotch really, an easy color for coyotes to spy at night. ‘Red’ was a brother to Annie and Lester and he too I suspect fell to a quick death by a coyote. Such is life in the wild….not too different from business and life in general. Survival of the fittest. Eat or be eaten.

I’m learning how impersonal it all really is. Yet, I weep with each fall. It’s just me.  I just know I’m happy to have animals in my life supporting me as I do my best to support them.  I appreciate that their sole intent is to be loving.  It’s that simple. And they sure are loving to me.  It helps at the end of a full day of human interaction. Yep, push comes to shove, I’m usually most happy in the company of four footers!

BB Webb

 

Zydeco baby….Laissez les bon temps rouler!! June 27, 2009

Filed under: Music,People I Admire — BB Webb @ 2:37 pm

I love CJ Chenier….he’s hot! He can play the accordian like no one I’ve seen. His Daddy was the King of Zydeco, Clifton Chenier, but CJ is to me the Prince….and I go for the younger royalty!!

CJ Chenier: Zydeco Rockin Prince!

CJ Chenier: Zydeco Rockin Prince!

But truly, he is magic with an accordian. I own two accordians. I don’t play, just admire them. It’s happy music with the best beat and sound I’ve ever danced to, making it a real bonus to me!

I was walking late last evening, after 9pm with the sky still blue and scattered with remnants of orangy sun. I love to walk alone when it’s almost dark and listen to music. Last night I was playing CJ’s Daddy’s music. When it’s semi-dark I can spin and dance on the street with no one really seeing me. I can’t help myself when I get the right zydeco song. My feet just start moving and my arms spin, flutter and flap to the luscious beat of that lively, energetic sound….zydeco. It’s save me in life more than once.

I dance everyday. When I don’t I’m sullen and listless. When I am overly busy, especially with tasks and duties which don’t fulfill me, (too much of that happening in my life at the moment), I often forget to dance. I don’t know myself then. As soon as I put on a song, my body remembers, but more importantly, my soul remembers and she starts moving with the beat and any crummy mood or perspective begins to shift. My body wakes up. But something else wakes up in me as well.

I dance while putting on my makeup in the morning, while fixing my hair, while feeding my livestock. It’s part of who I am. I don’t need a partner to dance, (though that can be fun), just some music and a floor where I can spin and twirl a bit.

I learned in France last summer while I was away doing what I call my ‘expanding’ time…I learned that our mind is only a servant to our hearts and that if we move, (dance), breath and sit in quiet from time to time….we need little else. The answers are within us.

A little music and a little interview wid da Prince, da man….CJ Chenier.

Lasissez les bon temps rouler…..let the good times roll…..baaaaaaby!

BB Webb

 

Brand New Tune…..There Just Ain’t Nothin To Lose! June 26, 2009

Filed under: Friends,Reflection — BB Webb @ 8:49 pm

I write songs….all the time, and other stuff….I’m always writing…I can’t help myself. Words just spill out. I need to plant my ideas and shoot my energy SOMEwhere. My songwriter friend Lee Davis tells me my songs read like poems. He’s forever trying to urge me to simplify, to make them ‘pop ready,’ stay with one idea. But I can’t. I’m BB Webb… he knows that but ribs me anyway.

I may never publish a song…it doesn’t matter to me. I might sing one in a show of mine sometime…well, my singing plans are a subject for another story. But, I continue to write. It’s for me. And I continue to write songs, hoping really that I’ll hear a tune to go with the words.

Below is a little song my friend Lee had fun ripping apart. As a dear friend, his ‘ripping apart’ is all in fun. 2Lu and I glare at him knowing he hasn’t a chance at discouraging me. It just won’t happen. And surely that’s not his attempt. It’s all in play. I appreciate friends who know how to play.

But I like my song….and I like Paul Simon’s even better…in fact, his ‘Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes’ is one of my all time favorites. I wish I could have danced and sung in the chorus with THAT group of African wonders. My kind of fun!

BRAND NEW TUNE by BB Webb

I don’t need no diamonds and I don’t need no rings,
I don’t need no house babe, I got lottsa things,
I just need your love dear, to take me through the night,
I just need your soft ear to help my dreams take flight.

CHORUS
And if you feel it’s over and your heart’ll never mend,
That your sad, sad story will last until the end,
If you need a break dear from what you’ve always known
Lighten up your outlook and let’s sing a brand new tune.

Been all around the world and seen all kinda things,
Had lotsa sweet fine lovers and many one night flings,
But ain’t had no lovin that’ll open up my heart,
That’ll take away my sadness and these hurtin parts.

CHORUS
And if you feel it’s over and your heart’ll never mend,
That your sad, sad story will last until the end,
If you need a break dear from what you’ve always known
Lighten up your outlook and let’s sing a brand new tune.

So please keep all your money and your baubles fine,
Hang on to your possessions cause honey I got mine,
But darlin if you’re ready for a woman such as me,
Get ready for some lovin cause I’ll give ya some for free.

CHORUS
And if you feel it’s over and your heart’ll never mend,
That your sad, sad story will last until the end,
If you need a break dear from what you’ve always known
Lighten up your outlook and let’s sing a brand new tune.

There just is nothing really to lose in life…to me it’s all rich with potential. And isn’t it the stuff that hurts the most that teaches us the best things and ultimately which sets us free. I think so.

I prefer to imagine myself with diamonds on the soles of my shoes. HOW FUN FOR DANCING! And for just creating cool stuff.

And frankly, when not dancing, I just want to spend my days creating cool stuff and then at night…share it with folks!

And well then, so it is. A brand new tune, ’round each and every corner!

BB Webb

 

Trite….maybe. That’s okay by me. June 25, 2009

Filed under: Reflection — BB Webb @ 8:03 am

You just don’t know what you don’t know til you know it.

Life takes a lot of forgiveness….of ourselves mostly. I feel that way.

Interesting to me how one day feels so fluid, easy, I handle the bumps well, am even inspired by a small ‘this’ or ‘that’ which comes my way.

The next day, ‘kaboom,’ as though a tidal wave swept me off my feet and I’m not sure I can breathe.

But I do. And sometimes a friend takes me by the hand and helps settles things down within my often reactive soul.

Other times I resort to old, crappy strategies, but in the end, it all works out, I shake off the disturbance and gather together my rather consistent world view.

Thank goodness. In the end, I am reliable to myself. I work things out.

And how is it that one day I can look in the mirror and love what I see, feel the aliveness, the promise of the next moment, even have a clear sense of who I am…. and, the next day, or hour, I wonder who in heaven’s name is staring back at me. Why does she look so dour???

I wasn’t sure who that woman in the mirror was today. She was rather bullish. ‘Pissy’ might be more appropriate. It certainly keeps things interesting!

Who's that doggie (woman) in the mirror????

Who's that doggie (woman) in the mirror????

I’ll check the mirror again before I go to bed. Maybe I’ll know her better.

Or, maybe I won’t look in the mirror. I’ll just trust what I feel and check that my feet are still at the end of my legs. That should do.

If I’m paying attention I learn something new every day. I begin to know what I didn’t know or at the minimum, sit with some new questions.

Here’s to the beauty of another day and all its possibilities.

BB Webb

 

One of my heroines. June 24, 2009

Filed under: People I Admire,Television & Other Media,The Arts — BB Webb @ 9:58 am

Helen Mirren. ‘nuf said. Stunningly brilliant, beautiful, bold and best of all, brave. And British, my vote for the best actors around!

Might I sparkle a milligram as bright as she. Here’s to passion!

‘Bad Things’, (True Blood Theme Song)! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyAXatvqf2Y

Rock on Helen!!

BB Webb