BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

With each passing moment… December 31, 2009

I’m experiencing an ‘aha’ this evening…just home from work after another day of shocks and thrills. I’m considering that the universe feels I’m suited for the frontline, I’m supposed to be the commander of the artillery regiment. I certainly am becoming adept at putting out fires and managing change. Not initially, I still react like a terrier during a lightning storm at first blow, but I know I’m best qualified for red alert, Mayday alerts and though rarely heard of, today was close to a DEFCON 1 alert. In fact, these alerts are becoming commonplace in my world.

‘Ohhh, another pesky earthquake, hold on darling, I’ll be there in a sec.’ Yawn.

I no longer dream of lazy afternoons on Italian hillsides in the sun, I think more about how fantastic a mere 12 hour work day will be or a day off to shop for groceries and change my sheets.

This thinking brought me to something new today. After dealing with our ‘company alert’ and bit of mayhem today, I watched this team of mine in their own style rally forth, come together, solve problems, give of themselves, find some appropriate giggles at one point, (thank you) and of course make fun of their boss in the most affectionate way. They are a sturdy group of ‘gals’ who I’ve somehow gathered together, a crop of loyalists perhaps, the high percentage ‘older’ women like myself, (though we appreciate the ‘youngster’ in the group greatly and her spirited perspective of the world)!

These ‘older’ women though….they’ve been ‘there’, seen the world through their own lens, experienced heartache, loss, had their triumphs. They somehow seem to ‘get’ what I’m after and have an appreciation of the jobs they’ve accepted and been chosen for and in my estimation, take them to heights of commitment which honestly, I haven’t seen lately in the way I see it in them. There is no martyrdom, no need for recognition, just a sense of duty and commitment which I appreciate more than I might EVER know how to express. Truly.

I’m the parent of this business, it’s my job to be present during turbulent times. Certainly at this point in my business. But it’s the small moments of offering time, help, thoughtfulness from my entire team that moved me tonight.

Being New Year’s Eve, I’d planned a night of zydeco dancing in Athens, (and it’d been a looong time since I merrily moved my feet in public or saw my band of lively dancer pals), though was foiled by our ‘today’ travesty which needed my immediate and prolonged care and attention. (A business being not unlike a very small baby).

While waiting for our visiting chef to finish his New Year’s Eve prep, I sat with Debbie, my new operations angel, going over the day, the week, the month. It was New Year’s Eve so I felt it appropriate to break open a bottle of wine while we waited as it had been a VERY long day full of stressful moments and uncertainty. As we relived the day and the month, we’d get to what are NOW the fun parts of dramas lived, (and which we survived since her recent tenure at my establishment), and began to relive and act out (well I did), the unbelievable episodes of our recent past.

We laughed til we nearly peed our panties….and Debbie has a laugh, (which I love) which could rival Paul Revere’s call. Welcomed moments during a day of siege, indeed!

I remember in a moment, feeling a certain sense of peace, which honestly I’ve not been having much of lately. I thought, ‘this is exactly where I’m supposed to be, (for now), in THIS moment.’ I often am way ahead of myself, missing my ‘now’ with pursuits which nip at my tail. But here, exhausted after a day of nip and strenuous tuck, I was experiencing the good humor and dedication of this extraordinary woman. Lucky me.

And then Lois, fondly name the ‘Velvet Hammer’ arrived, my new financial wizard. Having worked in the Gwinnett government system for 28 years, ‘the Hammer’ as we affectionately call her, is the presence who will assure that each department in my company has their policies, procedures and protocol. (did you hear a HUGE sigh)? In came Lois with a bag of salty corn chips, a bright red ‘jar’ candle which she’d bought on sale and Paul Newman’s spicy salsa. She’d come to see if we were okay and if we needed anything. I could feel my shoulders drop a solid foot.

‘Wow. Thank you. No, really, thank you. How entirely thoughtful.’

And there we sat, three ladies over 50 truly enjoying the passing of time and stories we’d already built in knowing one another barely a month.

Then in came Roger, our tall, slim, ‘fix it’ man, in like a wandering troubadour! I’d left a message earlier that day that our sink was linking in the back kitchen, to alert him to let Debbie know when he could come fix it next week. His long lanky self appeared in the doorway of our office with his wrench in hand and that crooked smile.

‘Roger….you’re here on New Year’s Eve!!’

‘Well,’ in his low voiced southern drawl, ‘you said your sink was a leakin.’

I hugged his skinny frame and led him to the sink.

I learned that his wife was out in his truck in our drive so invited her in to see the place, to ask about her holiday, plans for the evening. She met Debbie, Lois and our chef and then off they went, and our leaky sink sat dry as a bone.

It’s the moments. Only the moments which matter. What did Mother Theresa say, something about not worrying about doing great things, but to do small things greatly.

I am a woman whose wealth is best measured by the people who surround me. Of that I am sure.

My sheets will get changed tomorrow, (maybe), and groceries, awwww, there’s cereal in the cupboard. Tonight, as I ready for bed to service a full work day tomorrow, and as we symbolically move into a new decade, I look forward to experiencing the moments which might unfold in 2010.

With gratitude to my entire team at Carl House. Thank you. Here’s to great things in the upcoming year and beyond!

BB Webb

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Friends can be like…

…popcorn, constant explosions of impulse, surprise, support, smarts and fun, fun, fun! I’ll speak today of one favorite friend….my pal 2Lu. She’s smart as a whip, wears the funniest clown pants in history, makes me laugh so hard with her quick wit and sharp tongue, has a selflessness in key areas that inspire and leave me in ‘fall over, knock your socks off’ awe and yet another side can rally forth a litany of insults to a deserving creep in record fashion. She is a distinct enigma to me. She’s private though I am honored to be privy to her inner most thoughts which I’d never expose for I am as loyal as my dogs are to me….more so maybe. (And as a non-dog lover, I’m proud to say, she adores mine).

Though, I must say, I am comforted to know that should I die before my blessed hounds, they’d saddle up next to any loving heartful person who would rub, feed and love on them as I do. I’m very good at that….especially the loving part. And 2Lu would no doubt find the very best home for them, (knowing that would NOT be her home), and….she’d maybe go visit them.

I am honored to have her trust in me and I’d never betray her….I HATE pain, but would have to die screaming with torture before I’d spill a confidence she asked me to keep. (Though I admit, the torturer would quit just to stop my INCREDIBLE protest….I’m a noisy one and will scream, holler and screech if I need to, in a way that frankly could put Jeff Gordon in a sudden stop on the Nascar raceway).

But back to my friend. She can kid at my idiosyncracies, the self absorbed parts, in a way that makes us both laugh til our sides ache. We regularly act out scenes we have experienced and embellish them with our dramatic interpretations, which we might repeat a dozen times with added nuance, the laughter building to Olympian heights.

We’re known to indulge in select carbohydrates, (mind you, if at my house, only served in pretty bowls), and on occasion, when she can rally a driver, we’ll polish off an entire Pinot Noir with Toll House Cookie chocolate chips, (with my special mix of pumpkin and sunflower seeds and chopped apricots), all this while doing the latest impression of someone we find unruly or rude, because we can, and it lifts us from the periodic doldrums of our busy, challenging lives of to and fro.

The Gal with 2 Lu's....

Our commonality: 2Lu and I both know where we’re going….if not distinctly, clearly….and there’s a significant difference. The latter allows a level of magic and mystery to influence the journey. We’re traveling on a similar caravan and how good it feels to have such companionship. The road less traveled is so much more fun with a pal to laugh with and shoulder the loads, celebrate the wins. I know, I’ve traveled solo for decades taking snapshots of my shadow to prove I was there!

While exuding compassion and ridicule in the same sandwich bite or absolute seriousness about all things commerce, (she CLEARLY more savvy than I), I can count on her for fresh outlook for whatever idea I spout forth, and I have millions. She listens to what I’ve written time and again, and only as a devoted friend might, she’ll ask to hear it again so we might consider another vantage point, point of view or way to deliver the intent to my imagined audience, for there always is one, has been since I was 4 years old, maybe 3.

She considers ways to make money with things I know I must do, (and she’s created her own dozens of revenue generating businesses and schemes), so now, it’s just a matter of mixing smart with fun. Our ultimate goal is to create revenues with fun, meaningful projects then give our money randomly to deserving ‘do gooders’ and maybe to punish the naughty nellys so they might rethink and repent. Ooooh, we’re diabolical and unstoppable together. It’s true!

This 2Lu pal knows exactly when and how to lift up the areas in me which are sagging with the weight of disappointment, challenge, sadness or frustration AND she can be lovingly direct when I need to do my own ‘about face.’

She possesses the parts I’m striving to hone within myself and though she says she feels the same about me, I think she says so just to make me feel better. She makes me feel funnier, smarter, prettier, fitter, savvier, more fashionable, compassionate and overall, just a better person than I consider myself to be. That’s friendship. That’s love.

My friend Lulu! Really, only one, maybe two other folks do I keep handy in my clift notes of friends, though 2Lu wins the Pulitzer prize for excelling in her role as BB’s friend. She’s the Eddie Haskle to my Wally, the Gail to my Oprah, the Old Yeller to ‘what’s his name’…that cute little kid.

And regarding the role she plays so impeccably well, I should know, I’m an actress really; I know authenticity when I see it and can spot an imposter before they’ve applied their dark glasses or moustache or fraud quicker than the bank. I know real and this pal is the true grit.

Damn…I swear I’m getting luckier each year with the people showing up. My focus is growing keener and I know quality. I’m VERY particular. Loyalty, selflessness, smarts and an eagerness to do well, spread goodness and light….all qualities which with me will NEVER lose cache.

These sort of friends make the dark light, the cold warm, the rigid tempered and the shrill a soft melody.

Life without them….hollow or the sound of a stick on an old, dented, tin bucket….and I so prefer an orchestra replete with timpani and horns. I’m spoiled rotten with this friend of mind.

So, on this last day of a most arduous year, I am saying thank you to her today. 2Lu….my friend with 2 Lu’s. Catalyst, pioneer, iconoclast and the woman whose grit could challenge any rustling cowboy.

Wow. I stand in awe and love her from the top, bottom and middle of my heart. My ‘rocking chair friend,’ one who will indeed be with me until we’re old, old, old….but probably not doing much in rocking chairs if I know Lulu and me.

Thank you my friend, for showing up when you did, possibly in the ‘nick of time’!

BB Webb

 

On Truth. December 30, 2009

I’ve learned some key things this past week…..or maybe it’s a lifetime that has brought me here.

Who we are, our truth, how we feel, what we believe, is like a personal elixir, making us full, alive, passionate about things perhaps, allows our soul to flourish within our human skin.

Though, to live in our world, here on this particular planet, certainly in the society to which I was born, a measure of magician-ry need be employed to not extinguish that flame. This I know for sure.

Sharing all of who we are to the varied populace with whom we come in contact, to which we are exposed, is not always wise. People may not understand where we come from, and that’s okay, and I’ve found, in my case, often they don’t. And here is where wizardry comes in. (And, I must remind myself that I DO relish a measure of challenge).

Like a director working with an actor, a General guiding her troupes or a leader working to uplift and inspire her team, new tactics might need be employed to gently relay the message intended and to have it received as intended.

And, just as a fire need have freedom to blaze, a heart and spirit need room to flourish though, just as a plant needs air and water, if polluted, it will not thrive. Similarly, discretion and a measure of laying low, might oft times be a better choice. As we sit and wait, and listen, we might better know when to walk through the curtain, to appear on stage, to walk into the light, as timing is key if we are to be received well to make the impact we desire.

And trust, those souls who want to find you, or need to find you, the ones curious as to what makes you shine or who are curious as to what treasures you possess which might benefit them, they will seek you out, will feel your vibration. It is imminent as are our varied paths. It just is. In this we must trust as in God we trust. (My belief anyway).

For all the others, they have their path, allow them their preferred securities or insecurities, pray for our collective fears to dissolve and intend perhaps a united front to conquer the dark and work to bring forth only light. And in the Ho’oponopono Hawaiian tradition, consider that what you see in front of you is merely a reflection of yourself. Grace others and yourself with the magic prayer to your distractors AND the ones who buoy you forward as well, ‘I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.’ This can change the world.

For, to me, love and light are the only elements of existence and being which I’ll embrace, the rest, illusion, if I chose them to be. All this thinking clearly a work in progress for I am as human and emotive as they come. In knowing this, I can then truly share, as I shift elsewhere, what it is like to be stuck in the dark. I’ll know too, how to lead others somewhere better as that is where I am going….each day, with every challenge and set back I am only bolstered to where I am meant to go.

In earnest can I then truly thank and love my ‘seeming’ distracters.

There is no other choice. I may forget in moments, but when I am quiet and sit, I remember well.

Brian Andreas, one of my favored artists and poets said what I know so very well. He created a sculpture with this short poem, which hangs in my home office. I read it often.

‘For a long time, she only flew when she thought no one else was watching.’ Brian Andreas.

By Brian Andreas, courtesy http://www.storypeople.com

2010 may mark the year you take flight and allow all to see. It’s all in the timing, as a trained performer, and mistress of special events, this I know well, though merely forget some days when I impatiently consider my own passions and desires for what I see ahead for myself. Timing.

Blessings to you all.

BB Webb

 

A Voice, a Voice… December 29, 2009

I’ve always been talkative. (I can hear great laughter in the background). When I was 5 years old I had a Chatty Cathy doll. I’d pull her string and once got so tired of HER talking that I actually remember throwing her down the basement stairs.

Uh oh…that might say something about my character. Awww, probably not. Well…..maybe.

No doubt a thought or two people have had regarding me. Ahhhhh well!! I beg you to banter back, interupt, bellow, shout, moan, groan, speak up for goodness sake!

My brother called my one woman show my primal scream! Well, someone had to speak the truth!

For years after first arriving to Atlanta, I taught communication skill classes in colleges called, ‘Speaking Out.’ It was very popular. Fun too! I love to watch people begin to express what’s REALLY going on inside. I’m probably a bit of a voyeur. With all the travel I’ve done alone, I’m a relentless people watcher. I am ALWAYS fascinated by what I observe. Always.

I have something brewing inside me, incubating really. It’ll first manifest as a talk radio show and later as a television series.

WHO: I want to champion women in business. I heard a line in a movie I recently watched where it was stated that: women from the south are not ‘steel magnolias’ which frankly wilt almost immediately after plucking them, but the character in this film suggested they be compared to good southern greens such as collards or kale. I feel that analogy is MUCH more accurate, (if we must be compared to plants)…you can steam them, boil them, fry them and they hold their sturdiness and are packed FULL of nutrients to fuel your body.

I’ve been steamed, boiled and fried, and I’m sturdy as hell and healthy as an ox, (are oxes really healthy)?? You get my meaning.

WHAT: The show will feature extraordinary women in business and how they are changing the face of business each and every day, by doing things differently, through creativity, hard work and innovation.

WHERE: I’ve found a delightful studio and radio station out of Gainesville, GA which broadcasts to I think 30 or so nearby counties including all around Atlanta. WDUN am talk radio.

WHEN: Soon, though not right away as there is planning to be done and to do this well, it’ll take some incubation time, though I’m very excited and think about creating this smart, interesting, fun and informative weekly broadcast constantly, (or as time allows as I work my Carl House business to new heights)!

WHY:There are fascinating stories to tell about these heroic, strong, resourceful and independent women that need to be told. I’m interested in who influenced them to become who they are, coaches, other business colleagues, family, what challenges they faced and overcame and what interesting anecdotes they might be able to share with other aspiring or established business owners.

So, my request to you dear readership, though you may be slight, (though if things go as planned, (and they will, or better), you will grow in time, sturdy and strong like those collard greens), to please share your thoughts on women who you deem true entreprenurial spirits, pioneers in creating business on their own terms, women who have been on the front line and not only won, but excelled despite difficulties and challenges.

And, if you know of savvy business coaches who have had an impact on various people in business, please share their information with me as well. And, thank you!

You may comment on this blog space or contact me through my business email address which is bbwebb@arrivingwithbbwebb.com

Thank you in advance for any thoughts you might be willing to share or for passing this blog post along to someone who you feel does.

Savvy Women: Redefining Business.

Stay tuned…great things to come…I PROMISE!

BB Webb

 

The Passing of Time and Times…

A friend of mine died this weekend. It was sudden and the details don’t matter. This news felt like a kick in the gut, I literally felt all the blood rush to my head as I heard the news. My breathing actually stopped. I had to have it repeated several times to really take it in. All I could think of was, ‘what could I have done to have prevented her dying,’ or the Puritan guilt in me allowed the thought of, ‘how did I cause this tragedy,’ for indeed that is what it feels like. I am sad beyond words.

But this is life. We do our best, we make good and bad decisions, we take chances, we thrill, we disappoint, we do our best to love.

But good friends are a little like a drug. When they are inexorably in your life, providing support, meaning, substance and certainly regular communication, finding them missing when you call or when there is no response to an email, that hurts. I may have an unhealthy attachment to some friends and I might have to this pal of mine. I need people. I am and will be in withdrawal for some time. It’s painful, very painful.

I know enough of the way the world turns that she is not REALLY gone, on this planet yes, in a manner, but she’s with me and I with her in some ways, issuing support and good thoughts as that’s what I’m best at with my true and dear friends.

But, it’s alarming how quickly they come and I’m finding too, how quickly they can go, in a flash. I will always be grateful for the time she and I shared, the wisdom and kindness she showed and the fun we had laughing a lot, as this was a key element in our friendship…our laughter together certainly helped me face all manner of difficult storms.

But, my heart is sad, sore and wondering what I might have done to place her not just in the ether, but nearby in the flesh to give her a warm hug. And yes, divine order, divine order, I know, but I am spirit in human garb and today I’m heartbroken to have lost my friend, as it seems we had so much more to create together. I’ll indeed miss the good laughs and buoying support she gave to me.

I will always consider her my cheerleader and pal and certainly my soul is fuller having had her presence in my life. I only hope hers was lifted by mine being in hers.

God bless you and keep you safe my friend and always loved, deeply loved.

BB Webb

 

Man’s Arrogance December 28, 2009

I heard this just today…

it’s mans supreme arrogance that he can screw up his life.

I believe in divine order and that all suffering stems from human attachment and ego.

At least that’s my thinking today. And, that we are so much more powerful and full of loving kindness that we know or which most people are willing to allow or moreover, transmit.

A reminder to listen, listen to the messages coming to us every day…..every day. They are our guide and the messages, filled with only one thing…LOVE.

I know I’m on to something…and the pain to getting here will be well worth what, in time, I’ll have the privilege to share with others.

If we could only see who we really are, we’d be entirely blinded by the light and no longer doubt nor condemn.

BB Webb

 

That Path of Good Intentions…

Some days I feel that life is quite random and then others, entirely planned, the universe having it’s perfect reaction to shift and turn us where we need to go, where we need to wake up. I think?

It’s awful some of the time, harsh and cruel really, feeling like being bandied about in a washing machine, never quite sure whether you’ll land upside down or like a shirt inside out. And then there is the matter of whether you’ve landed on the right planet or not.

I’m not sure about much of anything this evening other than how utterly worn down and miserable I feel in this moment.

I often feel I was born into the wrong stratosphere. I feel more often than not that I just might not belong here…or at least I haven’t found my tribe.

I’m done with this year. Its disappointments have been too numerous to mention and at this late hour I can’t quite measure my growth or the possibilities despite being the singer of that frequent tune. I merely feel as though all the wind, spunk, fire and passion have left my sails, the bottom fell out of my boat and I’m momentarily lost in a dark, dark sea and no, I don’t swim well, at all.

I will need to apply serious resuscitation measures on myself. My humanness overwhelms me and this heart of mine. Send out the memo, I’m not superwoman. Don’t shake TOO hard, I might break.

I’m played out and withdraw my poker hand. I hope I go to sleep and wake up some place new or with selective amnesia.

Interesting how our worlds can spontaneously shift on a dime….or in my case, on a banana peel. And ooooh, the good intentions I line my path so carefully with…..

BB Webb