BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Pre-conception Kills March 29, 2011

I try not to judge though I have my preconceptions and certainly prejudices. Or, is it preferences?

pick your poison or your remedy toward life...

My mother was the absolute LEAST judgmental person I’ve yet to meet. She could poke fun at herself though ALWAYS found something to praise in EVERYONE. And, when I had a crisis to face in my life….life IS full of them, she was patient, rational and even-headed.

Her resource directory, remedy bag, was perhaps not as abundant as mine, as I had (have) a world view that expands her perimeters. I’ve found possibility and solutions with actions she’d never consider. But, she’s the one who gave me the courage to search and search as I do, until I get the answer I need… or better.

And if you’ve read his blog for even a short piece of time, you’ll know that I’m ALL for BETTER!

So, I’m still looking for some things, some people, some ideas, some ways of being, attitudes and actions to serve me best, (and the world’s) highest good. And I work….I endeavor to catch myself when I am being less than loving, judgmental or stuck on only one perception as I journey forward.

I consider what if I were that person; what might make them act the way they do, where do they hurt, fear, what is their outrage or sorrow? We all have them….especially fear and lack of knowing.

I’ll send love and compassion out to those folks this evening. And for me to be understanding of them.

And I’ll keep searching til the right people, places, remedies, things, magic, which meets my vision, meets my heart.

There is, to me, no other way.

Anything less is an abomination to my soul.

And might I work to be loving as I traverse this planet boldly meeting others, finding the miracles, medicine, means, that suit me best.

And, may there be ample grace, certainly coming from me, along the path.

BB Webb

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Entrances and Exits…Tender is the Day December 9, 2010

There has been much shifting afoot and ‘things’ seem to be sorting themselves out, though certainly not always with total ease. My friend Karen, (beloved wife of my now deceased and treasured mentor Tony Montanaro) yesterday sent me this quote…..

“I want to do to you what spring does to the cherry trees.” Pablo Neruda

She as a friend and certainly Tony in his ways, did just that….helped me to blossom in a way as Carl Jung shared, ‘guiding someone gently into themselves’. To me, there is the where the blossom occurs….within.

She shared her thought that, ‘The inability to express love, leads to the inability to experience love.’

So, how do we best love….ourselves and others?

Karen and I can in a moment enter hungerly into our own brand of spiritual and metaphysical contemplation. She’s a gift, a jewel of easy connection in my world. Together we find comfort in being able to connect thoughts and ideas with what is important to each of us. Our thinking gravitates most often to our human need to give and receive love, our (universal, I’ll submit) desire to be seen, (all of us), for who we are, (appreciated, respected and valued for that as well) and most of all, our human need to be creative, which certainly drives the two of us.

I’m considering this morning how to live both authentically, in a way which makes sense and feels right within my skin, while allowing others to be who they are WHILE respecting differences in others, endeavoring to not offend ANYone. I clearly am not perfect at this.

Tony Montanaro

This notion leads me to my fascination with entrances and exits, or transitions in life. How do we enter and exit people’s lives, our day, our sorrows, fears and joys.

I had a boyfriend, a most gifted performer. As we worked in the studio in Tony Montanaro’s Maine so many years ago, I remember Robert working on a sketch where he played different characters entering and exiting a room. Some were hysterical, others stunning in how they captured a moment, a secret microscope of sorts on the life of Everyman or Anyman.

I consider with this the awkwardness of many of my mostly exits with people, jobs, chance encounters. Not everyone WILL understand why I or you or anyone does whatEVER they do, but I’ll venture to say, that deep to the core of each of us, here’s my Pollyanna at her best, there is a notion of goodness and outside of all the protective barrier, a simple child of the Universe, wanting to be loved, seen, heard and valued.

I consider this as I enter into my day with the intention of being loving.

Go tender into your day and feel perhaps your own value and know that you are loved.

This is our birthright really.

With love, BB Webb

 

And then the net lifted. November 11, 2010

I’m enamored (is that the correct word this morning) with the process of being human on this planet. Enamored isn’t the best word, but it’ll have to do for the moment.

I felt a net lift from my myopic view of the world this week. Some things became crystal clear. And if not CRYSTAL clear, my lens was certainly cleared of some significant smudges.

We all react or act according in tandem with our world view and in concert with our past experiences, each of us working to make sense of things and let’s face it, to get what the hell WE want. I suppose it’s human nature.

If you’d been a reader of this blog for a week or a year, you’ll know I’m all about the process of expansion…by that I mean expanding what is possible, our thinking, our consciousness, what the hell we feel might give us (I suppose), happiness or peace.

I’m watchful of late on how people work to get what they feel THEY DESERVE and it’s often not (to me) pretty.

I believe in good manners, open hearts, graciousness and working to be understanding….though there are firm boundaries that MUST be put in place or as I have found, people will push for WAY beyond what to me is a decent or rather reasonable limit. I’m the first one to want to give a bit extra, it’s maybe how I was raised or just what I prefer…..but that stops abruptly when I feel someone is pushing beyond their due, (not a child, they’re still learning) but of note lately, what would seem like educated, reasonable adults.

I’m finding of late that sense of graciousness and generosity of spirit severely, most severely lacking. It makes me want to shut the door on humanity.

But clearly, that’s not my mission here on earth at this particular time, so I wake each morning considering how I’ll play out the day, handle the latest crisis or negotiate what I felt was VERY CLEAR TERMS with a client.

A friend of mine chides me playfully when I share my wanting to embrace ‘more, more, more’…..I don’t mean ‘more’ as in I want more ‘chips’ or stuff…..but new opportunities, peace, loving kindness, projects which fill my heart….and probably less of the things that are hurtful, stabbing, abrasive.

So two things happened this week….all a part of our perhaps etheric experience, as real to me as any piece of peanut buttered toast I might pick up and chew with coffee in the morning. A net was lifted, (there is so much possible) and a shield of sorts has been placed in my energetic field….I feel it. Those abrasive ‘naughties’ won’t get in….they can try, they can push to penetrate a part of me but they’ll have no luck. For I have my battalion of protectors and guides and I cherish their presence in my physical world here.

My job is simple….to make a solid and profound difference with my presence on the planet. How that is done, each day I wonder, but I know it’s true. And each day, I am encouraged with what good things might show up, how I’ll respond in new ways and the enormity of my creative spirit and what new scene might be created in this movie reel called, ‘BB’s life’.

Here’s encouragement for your own movie trailer….might it be a better story than you had ever hoped.

BB Webb

 

Deleting she did go. September 11, 2010

I woke this morning, oooooh, after a long and luxurious sleep, my favorite…to a kind, thoughtful, sweet and loving note from a new friend.

It was so different from the sort of communiques I’ve received over the past many years….in many ways. I sat with it, considering the sort of person who might write such a thoughtful paragraph of prose. I considered the heart, life experience, understanding of me and perhaps the Universe that such an epistle might suggest.

I sat with those sweet thoughts quite awhile, silently, (or as silent as my mind will let me sit), sipping at my coffee, enjoying the comfort of a morning to myself with no ‘work-work’ I HAD to tend to…I sat and let the thoughts, my world, my memories, drift over and through me.

And in an instant, in my own BB way….I jumped into action, and began deleting names from my address book. Why have I kept the names of hurtful people in my Blackberry??? Sincerely!! Out went names of colleagues, ‘friends’, former lovers, folks who serve me no longer…clearly taking up too much of my coveted electronic band width!

This reminded me of a time when my brother noticed me going through a box of old love notes from boyfriends and dear friends in my past. Sweet notes of affection and friendship from throughout the years, my travels, my experiences. I shared a few with him, he a man soulfully married since he was 22 or 23….

‘Why are you throwing these out sis? You need to save these, they’re great love notes and memories of friends.’

‘I like to move forward,’ I responded. ‘I have those memories in my heart.’

‘Really!’ he looked at me incredulous.

‘Sure….they’ve made me who I am today, greater evidence than a piece of paper.’

‘But what if no one loves you that way again.’

I remember looking him squarely in the eyes, my five years junior overshadowing his naivete.

‘Jeffrey, of course I’ll be loved again, in news ways and perhaps BETTER! However could I live thinking I would not!’ I gently stroked his arm and smiled.

‘l’ll take my chances.’

Funny all that…. surprises ’round every corner, all to be enjoyed for the moments, days, months or years they will allow.

Appreciating and enjoying each moment, I feel, is key. I’m not yet perfected in this area, though I endeavor to try!

And, I’ve found today, the great liberation in shucking the folks who just don’t serve me well. No anger, bitterness, heat toward any of it, I won’t spend my energy there. But dissolved go they with a small prayer of thanks for the lessons learned and the foresight to ‘leggo Dorothy, leggo’.

Peace.

My memory of the small shards of paper strewn everywhere at the 9/11 site just after the travesty. That memory and the many, many notes upon the wall from loved ones, loved ones mourning the loss, better seeing the import of such friendships, loves, alliances, in their absence. Life spins so quickly on. Might we abandon of our safety valves. Please.

To those souls from only 9 years past, peace to you and all who loved you and…
love from me.

Yes, simply, emphatically, MORE peace and love, MORE, MORE…..
MORE……please.

Love,

BB Webb

 

The world spins madly on… July 31, 2010

Necessary Losses, Necessary Humor…

This week has presented all manner of choices in my world….mostly on the perspectives I might best adapt.

We make plans, reach out, pull inside, rally a bit, rage perhaps, break down, stand up, smile, meet, call, sit, watch, dream, fall back, write, write, write, write….sleep, imagine, engage fantasy, move forward and try something new….I like new….possibility.

And I continue to encourage the new in those talks I have with myself. The old just won’t cut it…..people will do what they do, obstables are part of the course and people die.

Oh the rallying necessary before the end.

And so I rally for a few key causes this week and no doubt in the next little while.

I know my power and how I can impact change….

a change in situation or perhaps more often, mindset.

And as I do, I ask for strength, widsom and humor.

The whole world is moving and I’m standing still.

The Weepies continue to know….

BB Webb

 

When the Rains Fall. July 21, 2010

Keep looking....listening.

The key, I am finding, is listening. The ‘answers’, if you call them that, the clues, signs, signals, guides, are everywhere. We just need to pay attention, to listen.

I’ve had another test to my own faith in navigating through yet another (what I call), creative ‘funk’. You know what I’m talking about, surely. You wake up with all manner of options in your lovely world but can’t seem to pull yourself from your own morbid spin….colors lack luster, old habits reign, a depression sets in and your energy is zapped.

As a woman you question your hormones, as a man….I haven’t a clue what you all question, or if you do…..but the air is ripe with doubt, frustration, inpatience and clear dissatisfaction.

But you’re not listening in these moments. You’re reacting to what feels dim, not the messages. which like overtones, are so much bigger than your funk. Dis-ease is a signal. Where do you WANT to be…and is it time?

Sometimes waiting and listening is a stronger move than action. I’m a mix of both bull and race horse….this strategy is a supreme challenge and test for me. I fall short of my goal here frequently….though after awhile, even I understand the pain in hitting my head too forcibly against the plexiglass wall put in front of me. It’s there for a reason….put there by the Universe much like a baby barrior….why??….it’s not TIME. If you go too fast you’ll fall down the stairs, reach for poison in the cabinet you should not open. Your parent, the Universe knows….trust here lad, lassie.

It’s for your own good. Though conversely, action, however minute, toward your desires, is powerful. As you coax along your dream, your desire, your passion, just watch, watch what seem like weeds around you begin to curl up with energy and appreciation of your intent. Those same ‘weeds’ turn to opportunity, right people showing up, TRUE love, not the pesky mind-y bullshit that so many in our culture pass off as love….and I’m not just referring to the ‘romantic’ kind, all manner of love….a friend, colleague…someone who can serve your highest good as you can for them.

The kind that brings heart into good measure….where HEALTHY attachments are formed, not the sort that says all the right things with no follow through.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: 1749-1832 German writer and polymath.

I’ve no time for those weak efforts. I’m in agreement with Goethe,

“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”

He may look a tentative soul, clearly not….or, he simply worked past his trepidation. He probably started listening!

Love, like whatever passion fuels and amps you forward….they have a vibration that is unstoppable, they are MUCH bigger than your mind, bigger than you and the stuff that makes being on the planet, worth all the heartache, hassle and disappointment at times.

I’m going for big. For passion, for healthy attachment and love. I’ll wade through the dis-ease….it’s all part of what’s necessary and I will remind myself of that, often no doubt.

And why do I choose passion, love, BIG…..because I can. Simply because I prefer to and I can.

BB Webb

 

Here’s a thought to chew on. July 18, 2010

“We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.”

– Talmudic Proverb

Ahhhhhh says me as I transform a funk into a lotus flower.

Why? Because I can!

One must ALWAYS leave room for an opening!

And FYI…..In Hinduism and Buddhism the lotus flower symbolizes awakening to the spiritual reality of life or life in general.

As the lotus flower grows up from the ground into an object of great beauty, people also grow and change into something more beautiful. So it is the symbol to represent the struggle of life at its most basic form.

BB Webb
(photo credit: info@lotuspix.com)