BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

About Face, Facebook…and other ‘Not So Honeymoon Tales’ November 20, 2010

I’m working on a new talk which I’m eager to get out and about throughout not just my neck of the woods, in and around Atlanta, but globally somehow. And yes, in PERSON, not just over the Internet Super Highway!

I believe in FACE to FACE communications! With that, I’ll be speaking about how we relate to one another in this day in age….how things have changed with the advent of the internet. There have been positive changes and I feel there have been LESS than positive changes afoot.

I’m embroiled in a not so favorable result of such ‘non face-to-face’ communication despite my efforts. It’s all so absolutely unnecessary but none-the-less, where I sit TODAY.

My talk will speak on keeping things personable, but not taking things so PERSONALLY. Having taken an enormous financial risk beginning my business seven and a half years ago, and having put in a copious number of hours of unimaginable sweat equity, and doing so even these seven and a half years later, it’s challenging at times for me to NOT take things personally. My business in a sense is ‘my baby’.

I revel most in the lessons learned and give thanks to each and every lesson which comes my way….and I’ll say ‘lucky me’ as they come nearly daily if I am paying attention. I endeavor to be part of good SOLUTIONS, not contribute more to heady, unnecessary PROBLEMS!

I personally have experienced (lately), the assault of internet communication and thrashing over Facebook and other wedding websites by a client. This particular (now former) client, has never met me in person, has never taken the time to set an appointment with me or answer my email or offer through her mother to call me, (as suggested) so I might PERSONALLY handle any disruption or miscommunication. Instead, this person who contracted with me has banned with her family and made the choice to bad mouth me, my company and my hard working team on FACEBOOK.

I’ve said it before and will repeat, I (as my team) are far from perfect, but anyone with an ounce of reasonable-ness will know very quickly that our intent is to serve and to exceed expectations.

I wonder if I were to sit with this young person, to look into her eyes, to understand her needs, fears, concerns and challenges in life, I wonder if I might be able to speak with her woman to woman to gain a mutual respect and compassion.

I wonder too if she might better ‘GET’ that my working on average 12-15 hours a day, often 7 days a week, that I am serious about doing good business. I wonder if she might better realize that borrowing LARGE amounts of money to start a company, that as a single woman who has a passion for serving people, I’m not out to do anyone a disservice, but much to the contrary, I have put everything at risk to do right by people!

I am concerned that this group of much younger people, accustomed to online communication and not the face-to-face sort I grew up with, do not consider the good manners of communication and how careless rants and thrashings of an individual or business can impact many lives. I’m uncertain why people choose to judge and hate, to wallow in the negative, unwilling to work toward positive resolution, especially when a conversation and willingness is offered them.

I feel they use their power recklessly and that sadly it won’t serve them well as they move forward in life. This saddens me deeply.

I consider too the people I’ll reach from this incident now that I have been impacted. The positive changes I might make now that I am personally aware of the hurt and damage this cowardice, you might call it, can do, instead of choosing to engage instead in respectable, courteous communication, one-on-one.

I am thankful to know who I am, strengths and weaknesses and to feel the rally of my colleagues, mentors, community leaders, clients and team.

I don’t and won’t play at that level, though I promise those whose livings, whose future events, the banks and service providers who I support through my business, (and rely on), that I will not sit quietly when the host of people I support is challenged.

Would this person act more considerately, kindly, professionally, respectably if they knew the heart of my intent and good will? Perhaps if she’d had the wherewithal to contact me personally, she might, but sadly that opportunity was forfeited and her comments directed to bad mouth me and my good name and that of my company was her choice.

I regret her unwillingness to work toward positive resolution. In the end I send only healing thoughts and a heightened consciousness to someone filled with such hatefulness and anger. It’s ironic to me as well, when people come to me with their entitlement and anger and then seem compelled to mention that they are ‘good Christians’.

This is perhaps one of the reasons I’m not much of a ‘joiner’. I’d rather someone walk with me throughout a day or week or month and THEN, then, when they have seen better who I am, feel free to judge, but kindly do me the respect to at least sit with me first in conversation, look into my eyes, find out a little who I am.

Good will to the world! We certainly need it. And Facebook….about Face to you….might you be used to create friends and alliances, not to destroy the potential for humanity to come together in good ways.

As a side note…I was asked by a National Magazine, ‘Perfect Wedding Guide’ to speak on this very topic in March. I’m so very HONORED to do so. Stay tuned as there is more, more and even MORE to come.

And thank you for these tormenters for prompting this initiative in me. I will ALWAYS find a silver lining. And I’m WELL aware, that it’s a choice to do so!

BB Webb

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Seven Years Ago Today… July 5, 2010

I opened my business….my Carl House business.

Seven years ago there was so much I did not know.

Seven years ago I demonstrated ‘moving forward as if’….as if I could create whatever my mind imagined, and more.

Seven years ago today I was, like today, dreaming up things and seeing what would happen ‘or better’ as I coaxed forward that vision.

Seven years ago today I took a deep breath and sat with a fine bottle of champagne, with my husband at the time, on a fine leather coach and sighed and looked around at a post event and said,

‘Wow….this is really a beautiful room, such a cool place.’

Seven years.

I wonder at what I’ll be sighing at, smiling at as I look back to today in seven years.

Incredible no doubt. I’ll intend that…

and more.

We are free to create and be whoever and whatever we want.

In EVERY moment.

I choose big, brave, bold, brilliant and heartful.

Why not?

With gratitude for the lessons, the journey, the people and where I find myself this morning….looking out on green, surrounded by heartbeats, standing firmly on wood floors, comforted by cool air and a vision which is only growing.

(photos by Eric Delaforce, left and Kristi Odom Photography above)

BB Webb

 

Love Among the Memories April 29, 2010

Love Among the Memories

I found myself this past weekend in the lush surrounds of Lancaster, PA, Lititz to be exact, home of Wilbur Chocolate and Linden Hall, now the oldest girl’s school in America, founded in 1747, also my former high school. I arrived on no more beautiful day than I can ever remember. Spring was in full bloom, dogwoods with their pink and white blossoms coloring the landscape, rich green grass sprouting fully from the fertile dark soil of this farmland. Everywhere color and abundance, cool air, the perfectness of Pennsylvania in the spring.

I hiccupped in on a small plane from Atlanta this past Friday, eager for a visit with my dear Aunt Sue and Uncle Jack. For 43 years I’ve visited them on a beautiful ‘farm’ which was had been in our family for generations. At one time it boarded many horses and when I was young, a llama named Pepito, one of the Uncle’s strange and wonderful gifts to his wife Sue. Pepito entertained us all for years and the horses as well with his comical antics and random spitting if he was displeased.

We enjoyed many a party on Buch Avenue, the adjoining servants carriage house from the 1800s turned into guest quarters. My family knows how to party and have never been known to hold back. With all varieties of food and the libations flowing for sure, my family works hard and plays hard, each and every member! We’re a family of entrepreneurs, this gene running strongly through our blood from generations before.

Though a large and sprawling house, the dining room was not large enough to house our growing family of new husbands and wives and the many children who came along the way. My Uncle Jack and Sue fashioned one year their three car garage into ‘party quarters’, transforming long workbenches into buffets areas, tables long enough to seat 25 or more. Such events often ended in dancing or games and one year, the boys lining up, raising the garage doors and ‘mooning’ the neighbors for fun. (I can see Sue shaking her head, as the mother of three riotous boys can only do)!

Having joined several family members in marriage on the estate, one year I remember the most glorious weather, June I think. My aunt, a true Martha Stewart type woman, (before the jail incident)….tenacious and exacting, had every detail of the wedding in tact. The ceremony was to be held around a gazebo surrounded by every summer flower you might imagine and rainbow of color. The sky was clear with narry a cloud and we all entered around the gazebo while chamber music played.

My Aunt Sue entered proudly, dressed in her flowing taffeta, the proud Mother of the Groom. She sat down just in front of me. Everything was in order. I remember someone readying a poem, a song being sung and then the ceremony began, vows were being spoken.

And then, as though God were issuing a reminder, one lone grey cloud toodled its small self across the sky and stopped directly above the ceremonial gazebo. The rest of the sky continued its blue display but Mr. Grey Cloud instantly began a downpour as the ‘I dos’ were issued forth.

My most vivid memory is my soon-to-be new cousin, Lesley, laughing with joy in her eyes and then my Aunt Sue’s head falling to her chest, me almost hearing what she was no doubt thinking….’ooooh, for God’s sake’…..and indeed it was, reminding us that life is perfect in all ways, the ups, downs and turn arounds, it is all in divine order.

We all ran for cover under a large tent where the buffet was to be served. Our playful cloud had dissipated, having performed its task for the day, for us all to learn this important lesson should we choose.

With matted hair and extra wrinkled linen, there was no more perfect day or memorable wedding, and I’ve attended quite a few!

Joi de vivre! Live for the day.

BB Webb

 

Dreamer? Romantic?? Me??? September 26, 2009

Photo by Lori Suzanne photography

Photo by Lori Suzanne photography

Well, I am the person who just wrote about the challenge of my constant distractions.

Photo by Sarah Eubanks photography

Photo by Sarah Eubanks photography

Yes, I am, (a dreamer….), I love to create cool stuff, can spend hours and hours in contemplation or writing about all manner of things, (useful or not), concocting adventures for sure, and entertainments, certainly dinner soirees with what I feel are interesting, fun people, imagining ‘neat’ stuff; I get lost in great films, (watch them over and over), I love romance, adore big hearted, smart, manly, open minded, FUN, passionate men, (who have their own interests and share some of mine).

I crumble when I see things of beauty, movies and stupid Hallmark Card commercials. And don’t even think of getting me to watch the public announcements around pets in need. I’m inconsolable for at least a day. I believe in the idea of marriage though am well aware of its challenges and the complex and difficult culture we live in, the impact of our ridiculous media, our interpretations of what ‘love’ ‘should’ be and the limitations of being human, male versus female, and living for 70 plus years, certainly with one partner. That’s another Blog. I don’t share the beliefs of many, but I’ve only lived in my skin, so I’m limited.

And yes, I am often disappointed by moment to moment ‘reality’ yet encouraged daily by the next moment around the bend.

Then today, while doing the interminable edits needed on most any evolving business website, (and FYI, we have a brand, spanking, shiny new one coming in about 2 months),

Photo by Lori Suzanne photography

Photo by Lori Suzanne photography

I was editing our Carl House website and viewed again the lovely work of Steve Schumacher. He is a visiting videographer to Carl House and created a three minute video of a beautiful wedding at Carl House.

http://atlantaweddingmemories.com/carlhouse.

Steve used Colbie Caillat’s song ‘Magic’, which frankly, rips me up every damn time I listen to it. It’s so fun to be ‘in love’, despite all the potential ‘work’ involved. I like work that leads to something better….that goes somewhere!

If you need a memory of why you got married perhaps, or the possibility of things to come, watch Steve’s video, it’s full of so much love and hope and well, I think it shares a lovely sentiment. And topped with Colbie Caillat’s sweet song….good Lord, bring a hankie!

When I think about it, nothing much else matters but love….being loving. I mean that. Learning how, there’s the rub. And I mean to ourselves as well. How well do you love on YOU? Take care of YOU?? There is always this and then the next moment to practice. Every day a new opportunity. I like that.

Life on this planet is just too short to not be fulfilled in the ways we all imagine and deserve. So go for it says I….love on, love on!! Oh, and I hope you’ll share your stories of how well you did!

(And yes, all the above photos were taken at the lovely Carl House)!

BB Webb