Oh Merde! April 1, 2010

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…it’s the different perspectives we all hold that keep the world turning on its axis. Turning, turning, turning.

I’m never bored.

Scary when we begin to believe our own bullSHIT.

Speechless, I’m rarely that….but I’ve had trouble finding the correct words to express what’s up for me this week. Forgive me but, SHIT keeps coming to mind.

A little background…(drums seem appropriate in the background). I’ve been mucking about in some real SHIT over the last 2 years….it all started with a $45K septic issue on my property. (But trust me here, it’s laying the groundwork for the extraordinary).

I came home earlier this week after spending time in one of our governmental systems, a surreal world where projection is king, or queen and where the energetic vibe is so low, I felt as though bricks we piling upon my body. I didn’t know how to breathe or speak in such an atmosphere. The language bouncing or rather ricocheting from the drab cement walls in the cubicle, square room where we sat was beyond hurtful and the vibration, the energetic vibration low, low, basement, submarine low.

I don’t live there and it hit me like a wet boulder to the head. I felt as though I was watching movie actors saying lines underwater which I’d never heard. I had no idea how to respond nor what play I was in.

I could only feel the truth about myself. The games I play are for fun, not working to destroy others.

I came home feeling like a gray earthworm, worn out, aching of human yuk and sapped of all energy. Walking into my bedroom, one of my kitties had SHIT on my rug. This RARELY happens.

I decided then to go for a walk in my nearby field to clear my head, brush off the very negative energy that had leeched itself to me, attached like diseased barnacles. Two of my pups, 10 year old Ernie and Bert immediately found the freshest, greenist horseSHIT they could find and rolled in it. They were enjoying themselves.

Then I considered:

What was I to learn?

Just roll in the SHIT….equinimity darling, equinimity…..just roll with the punches, let it teach you, guide you, send you to where you’re meant to go. All is in divine right order. Roll in that SHIT sweetie. You know your truth and heart. Just trust, trust in something higher guiding you. You’re being groomed.

I know that I endeavor to operate at a ‘high’ level.

Here’s an image: Imagine an ugly, dark, huge spider, unwilling to find real food, (it’s too much trouble), she jumps out of the closet and sits her big, spider self on me, trying to prove what, I have no clue, and she begins to spin her sticky, gooey web around my head and body. I don’t know how to respond and I sit catatonic a spell, unskilled at this level of base, scummy entrapment. I just don’t play there. I’m far from perfect, but I would never choose this destructive, hurtful game. Never.

I’ve got to stop being surprised at how unconscious and/or uncaring and untruthful people can be, how they project their own SHIT on others and work for their own gain. Playing the victim further encourages their malise. The story they believe becomes more real as they enact their drama. They attract EXACTLY what they don’t want, these sour people….SHIT.

I’ve been taken in by many a sleuth and con artist this past year….not putting up effective filters.

I need better filters, to create a higher bar for allowing people in my space, certainly in my head and heart.

I have a cynical friend who can smell fraud as quick as the bank. I’m beginning to find that she’s often very, very right and my Pollyanna is melting.

The difference between us, I become hurt, she becomes pissed. She throws SHIT, I eventually grow flowers from SHIT.

I have a forgiving nature. I can learn AND benefit from EVERYTHING I encounter, should I choose!!

And well, I do, eventually.

Bless those people asleep in their own SHITTY, victimy world….might they awake to find they only give away their power by playing the victim. What they don’t want comes RIGHT back to them. Just watch. I know I’m right on this one. I’ve been in their shoes.

I just made up a new acronym: B.L.A.M.E. Big, lugs aiming mean energy.

Okay, I’m tired and not particularly clever this very moment. How about: S.H.I.T. Shall Humans Initiate Truth?

It might not be a bad idea.

Awwww, go to bed BB, go to bed.

Might April Fool’s Day trick us all into better behavior and more open hearts.

BB Webb