BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Yeah Jack….Yeah… May 16, 2011

It bares…bears….beeeairs……

repeating….

‘The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”’ -Jack Kerouac

Let it go...let it happen....let it go....

Yeah. Awwwwwww……Roman candles lit….intention laid, (or better God, don’t forget, (inspiration) or better)…..BLAST OFF!

I find myself in immense gratitude this day. If we’ll only trust our sight. And more, and more….

More is full of but one thing in the context I share…life, fullness, living, exploration, abundance, joy, love, freedom.

More is good, better, best.

Ooooooh, please trust me on this one. I’m an explorer….I’ve seen it. Smelled, touched and sunk into it all…..more than once.

I couldn’t help myself.

Oh for the calling.

‘Just trust it,’ I am reminded, ‘just trust it’.

And so I shall.

Watch, and I’ll take you there.

Love, BB

 

The Vulture… May 15, 2011

We’re all quick to judge, certainly at times.

I find myself tucked under a blanket this cool, LOVELY May morning…listening to the sounds in my back forest, activity under cover of green, always exciting, fresh, new, settling to me.

The mighty, transforming powers of the vulture...

I yesterday worked with my favorite healer/massage therapist, Janice Davy. Her combination of disciplines ALWAYS leaves me feeling renewed, energized and grounded in both my humanity and lifted in my spirituality. She is magic. I came to her having hurt my back being overzealous in a new boot camp class I’m taking with the desire to strengthen muscles I’ve not been using of late. My mind took me beyond where my muscles and body were ready.

I’ve worked intentionally with energy before, studied with Dr. Fernand Poulin as did Janice, and I realize it is a tremendous unknown to most of us, yet I have seen mental, emotional and physical hurts shift with its intentionality. Suffice it to say, my body is still on the mend, but I am more rooted in what is happening within me, the shifts I’ve felt coming for years now.

So I watch the many trees in front of me dance with what might be one of the last cool breezes of spring gracing this Sunday morning. Italy was the launch of a great unknown for Lulu and me. And overhead most of this morning, I heard the great squacking of the grand vulture, one I in the past judged most harshly….that evil carrion, feeding off the dead, looming like a harbinger to death. And, perhaps he is, in a manner. Ted Andrews in his book, ‘Animal Speaks’ writes of the mighty, important buzzard, the vulture…

Buzzard-Vulture:
Buzzard or Vulture teaches the power of purification of the mind, body and spirit. Vulture aids accomplishing tasks through great patience and vision, using your sense of smell and discernment, and how to glide and soar with your own energy. He teaches efficiency in actions and promises that changes are imminent. He shows how to restore harmony of thoughts and feelings so one can reach new heights with little effort. Buzzards will aid in uncovering truths, clarifying previous conceptions, and allow to see and hear subtle hidden qualities using intuition and awareness. Buzzard can teach confidence and the ability to stand with dignity and soar with clarity and purpose. He shows how to seek a new and heightened vision while increasing sensitivity. It is time to soar above your perceived limitations. Are you currently undergoing an internal death and rebirth cycle? Are you ready to assert your actions from your ideas? Buzzard will aid in transforming knowledge to bring the unconscious to conscious and teach how to soar above it and bring the transformation you are needing at this time. Are you ready for these lessons of awakening?

So, perhaps this mighty, winged creature is telling me something….surely he is as he soars ably over my back porch with his reminding call. He prompts me forward…he knows where I am headed and the longings which pull me…

‘go there….go where you imagine, and let the wind guide you as it does me. Let go of what is no longer useful….move into what is calling you.’

I am listening. I surely am. I pray for courage, insight, heartful actions in all things and inspiration and luck to buoy me forward.

BB Webb

 

That Start of Something New….Italia and beyond! May 8, 2011

Where have I been??? Not just Italy…but new places in my mind, my heart….a switch has flipped….oh grateful me. Grateful me!

I wrote last week:

Dinner at Susan's Villa...with Lulu...creating opportunities!

I find myself, thankfully, in the heart of the Umbria region of Italy, in the small town of Sismano…..overlooking a hillside of green cypress trees dotting the countryside and fields of winter wheat waving like baseball fans cheering their favorite player in the World Series. Birds tweet and cackle, a owl hoots in the distance and a dominating rooster can be heard off in the distance. Not being the least ungrateful for my 7 days away (2 of travel), I know already that a week is not nearly the time needed to unwind from the rapt intensity of my Atlanta business world or to develop my new work as fully as I might prefer. This trip I know is but a harbinger for things to come, and which I welcome and will celebrate over tasty wine this evening by a fire. The nights are cool here and my conversations with locals fun and funny as I work my limited Italian, described better as ‘Spanglish’!

In Todi with the Caribinieri! Men with guns!

Lovely how a brief sojourn can open the floodgates of creativity and opportunity.

We create our own luck. It’s there if we choose to embrace it.

The most gorgeous town of Todi!

I’m planning world adventures, next far away stop, Shanghai this fall and in the meantime, the wheels of creativity are turning…

and the people who I’m meant to meet, lining up like ready angels. I need only pay attention!

Duomo in Orvietto

I’m eager to receive them all.

12 year old Sean VanMeter, (musical partner in upcoming creative traveling endeavors), making his Italian debut!

Seeds planted, lots of fertilizer, ample sun and a smile of grand appreciation for having weathered my long, very long winter.

Ohhh, stay tuned, the fun is only beginning. And how perfect somehow, today being ‘Mother’s Day’….the grand creator she….I send love and blessings to my mother, creative, fun, funny, loving Kitty and to all with hearts full of creativity.

Nurture your passion and bear fruit with wild abandon….it’s the very thing which keeps us energized and alive.

Joi de vivre!

BB Webb

 

How might WE rise….on this Easter Day April 24, 2011

Rise from the very beliefs, habits, associations, which hold us back from our true desires and potential.

Might nature guide us back to the places where we feel most alive?

Might sitting with our breath awhile remind us of other places we might arrive within ourselves?

I have felt over the last weeks the pull toward my own freedom as well as the anchor of my own habits, ‘stories’ from my past and inability at times to MOVE from where I feel momentarily stuck. And yesterday it was like thick glue arresting my heart and my soul.

And then the wakeup reminders we experience, (through people is how I seem mostly to receive them, they like actors clad in their own stories, their mannerisms a products of the many years which shaped them, their talk, their nuances)….all serving to take me more deeply into myself if I’m open to going there.

And I watch at how people pace themselves noticing their same mixtures of desire for ‘more’, (as in purpose in their lives), and too how they are drawn to desires I share, or where they also hold back with trepidation, hints of some unconscious fear.

Yet, at mid century point, many of us seem a bit protective of the lives we have created, branching out too much either in new terrain, physically or emotionally, is not always so welcome, certainly not if we’ve found a ‘groove’ which suits us in many ways.

Though I consider too how perhaps at times we ‘protest too much’ and a wandering outside our ‘safe’ zone might be a VERY good thing.

I feel the need, desire to ‘cloister in’ often, in myself….selfish or fearful at times, perhaps, but honest. And if honestly is selfishness, or rather, claiming who I am and what I desire for myself considered selfish, so be it.

Even so, I’ll encourage myself to wander more from time to time….and this week…..off to Italy I go.

Maybe I’ll run into the Pope…and he’ll offer some clues??

Perhaps we might all rise from the dead of our own limitations, our own lethargy which keeps us mired in energies of the past.

‘Rise up’ I say….’Rise up!’

Why not?

BB Webb

 

Sometimes a new hat… April 19, 2011

My Jeannette Rankin 'High Hat' Fly baby fly....it's time!

And sometimes a new hairdo will do it too.

sometimes that's all it takes...

And a trip to Italy to just shake things up a bit.

Stay Tuned....

 

The Time Has Come, The Time Is Here!! April 9, 2011

It’s been a (relatively) long wait. For many things.

This day I’m speaking of the timing for the synergies between my Lulu friend and I, to begin creating together in earnest.

We’re headed to Italy the end of this month to visit with my friend and other potential allie in all things creative (and business), Susan who lives down the hill from the Contessa who lives in a nearby castle. (Well, of course she does).

We’ll have Sean (Lulu’s brilliant 12 year old pianist Godson who she is raising), play for the Contessa. He’ll play for all our endeavors as well and to so many things BEYOND what she and I do together. His star is clearly on the rise….and thanks to Lulu! Completely thanks to her.

The extraordinary part of all this IS….the timing. It wasn’t until this morning, when I received a call from Lulu as I wheeled my grocery cart throughout Ingles Grocery Store, that I heard it in her voice….something had let go in her and in me as well. I’ve been ready in ways, but not able to move forward til Carl House was rightly situated. And though we each have other details to shift and turn, it’ll take only moments in comparison to where we’ve been.

Lulu, who grew up in abject poverty, whose uncle still walks to the community center to use the toilet to flush THEIR water so as not to use his, can be equally thrifty though can create abundance better than most anyone I’ve yet to meet. She’s more than a survivor, but a business icon to me….my needed behind-the-scenes expert who if I have my way, won’t be behind the scenes when it comes to credit taken.

So, our tickets are booked, she’s spent MONEY instead of secured a ‘dealing’ knowing the import of our trip. And, she bought (not at a yard sales), 6 new dresses priced at $3000….which OF COURSE she procured for a little over $100. I’m in good hands as is she. We know how to create opportunities for ourselves and others separately but together, I sense a tornado of ‘moving forward’ and positive actions that the Universe will only amplify and continue to direct and augment. Grateful me.

That’s just the way it works.

And I drew some cards for fun, out of curiosity….and Ganesh, the overcomer of obstacles appeared. (of course)….’the teacher’ card appeared, perfectly appropriate and the last card of three reminded us to move into our JOY…and we will.

My Lulu pal and me. Grateful am I for the people who show up as teachers, guides, lovers, friends, soul mates, distractors and angels.

May the games begin!!

BB Webb

 

Struggle, Defining and Redefined… April 8, 2011

I began this week vetching (maybe) about what I perceive as authenticity and struggle. I am working through coaxing the first to emerge within myself organically, (yes, in a culture less accepting of differences) and I’m sitting this morning, (with gorgeous dogwood trees, my favorite, just outside my window), considering the true gifts around what feels like ‘struggle’ in ones life.

I had a moment this week, (it was more than a moment), where I felt the weight, abject heaviness of uncertainly in areas of my life I’m dealing with, feeling myself wanting to PUSH for a solution, that frankly is not quite ready to come yet.

I could feel that PART of myself rallying in her frantic, unstoppable way, with a drive I don’t enjoy, intent on getting her way…..

I am reminded here of a song I wrote in my play many moons ago, ‘Through Ruby’s Eyes’ called, ‘I Want it NOW!’ The chorus being,
‘I want it now, now, now, now, now, now, NOW!”….gee, not obtuse one bit!!

Imagine a rock n roller whose body is moving faster than her words, a physical and vocal display of youthful obstinance, petulance and hysteria!

This song coupled by the later ‘You Gotta Wait’ song. (Funny, in looking back, how clearly these messages were lining up as tiny tips of wisdom from God and the Universe channeling through me at the time, a dichotomy of sort)…

‘I Want it Now’ with ‘You Gotta Wait’.

Life IS stranger than fiction!

The chorus to the latter,
‘You gotta wait and it’ll come to you, be patient too, be patient too, it’s all right it’s okay, abandon of the safety valve, value YOU, value YOU!’

Good God! Soooo….struggle has value. It is a teacher. And if we’ll wait, wait out the petulant child, a message will come on how we might best move forward, in our OWN way, in an authentic manner which not only OTHERS will feel, but which, ohhh, if we trust, will feel right to us as well.

The magical Universe, God, All that Is, call that force he, she, it, them,what you will…..

Struggle defines us. And might I redefine struggle.

I’m so thankful to not be alone.

With love, always with love,

BB Webb

 

Terrell Rocks…and ooooh the taste of heaven! April 2, 2011

It’s true. I have a new chef at my venue Carl House.

His food….oh Lordy….his creations are rocking my culinary world.

And I soooo love to be surprised.

Tonight, I popped in to see how our event, a gorgeous wedding, was going on. We’ve certainly served polenta cakes before….but Terrell’s were something from an alternate Universe. TAAAASTY doesn’t begin to describe the melt in your mouth, over-the-top ridiculous treasure in these cakes.

Yes Terrell’s polenta cakes hit new heights…the seasoning, texture, feel in my mouth. Food can be entirely sensuous, surprising, okay….I won’t go as far as erotic, (but I did think it).

‘WHAT did you make these with Terrell??’

I exclaimed, with a beautific expression pasted all over, ’round, up and down on my face.

‘These are heaven, light, magical, ironic!’

‘Corn’ he explained….’And??’ I countered. Then a trio of spices I now forget, cream, butter……ahhhhh….well, of course, surely. It’s not as though I was planning to MAKE them….but merely worship his culinary grace.

DAMN……I’m a lucky woman!!

Chicken ala 'Terrell'

And on this April Fool’s Day, I am no fool, I know quality in my midst and it surrounds me in so MANY areas of my life.

I know also that the things that perplex me, are miracles truly in the making. It’s all a matter of persistence, belief and keeping your attitude ‘right’!

How do I know? It’s been a LOOOONG few years and…..I just do.

And, I’m really, REALLY beginning to enjoy the fruits (and vegetables) of my labor!

Bon appetite!

(And hey, join us for our April 15th, 4 course wine pairing dinner featuring, yep….the Magical Chef I’ve so recently stumbled upon….gracing my Carl House kitchen. I’ll be there with delight in my eyes and a belly and mind grateful and ready to be wowed!!)

BB Webb

 

Pre-conception Kills March 29, 2011

I try not to judge though I have my preconceptions and certainly prejudices. Or, is it preferences?

pick your poison or your remedy toward life...

My mother was the absolute LEAST judgmental person I’ve yet to meet. She could poke fun at herself though ALWAYS found something to praise in EVERYONE. And, when I had a crisis to face in my life….life IS full of them, she was patient, rational and even-headed.

Her resource directory, remedy bag, was perhaps not as abundant as mine, as I had (have) a world view that expands her perimeters. I’ve found possibility and solutions with actions she’d never consider. But, she’s the one who gave me the courage to search and search as I do, until I get the answer I need… or better.

And if you’ve read his blog for even a short piece of time, you’ll know that I’m ALL for BETTER!

So, I’m still looking for some things, some people, some ideas, some ways of being, attitudes and actions to serve me best, (and the world’s) highest good. And I work….I endeavor to catch myself when I am being less than loving, judgmental or stuck on only one perception as I journey forward.

I consider what if I were that person; what might make them act the way they do, where do they hurt, fear, what is their outrage or sorrow? We all have them….especially fear and lack of knowing.

I’ll send love and compassion out to those folks this evening. And for me to be understanding of them.

And I’ll keep searching til the right people, places, remedies, things, magic, which meets my vision, meets my heart.

There is, to me, no other way.

Anything less is an abomination to my soul.

And might I work to be loving as I traverse this planet boldly meeting others, finding the miracles, medicine, means, that suit me best.

And, may there be ample grace, certainly coming from me, along the path.

BB Webb

 

Finding My Twirl…..oh Grateful Me! March 27, 2011

This quote graced my inbox this morning….

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ” – Melody Beattie

This quote, reminder, as I’m finding MOST things which come to me, are gifts, codes, guides, encouragements or signs to help me on my path. And Melody Beattie’s served in just that way this morning. I loved the message in her book, ‘Co-Dependent No More’ which I read nearly 15 years ago. It helped me see my own patterns at that time.

I’m playing this morning with the thought of independence and interdependence. I have been both independent and co-dependent, at the same time. How can that be so?? It can.

My father was an interesting guide to me while living, (a different and blessed one in death as I feel his loving presence all around me). He was not one to issue compliments, did not speak of my brains or beauty. Perhaps my soul attracted him so I might learn it on my own. So, my history of who I attracted in the male world often held a level of codependency which thankfully in my 40s I learned to recognize and shift. I would be attracted to men who I THOUGHT might validate who I was….yet I RARELY picked ones who did….as they were patterns, ‘knock offs’ of my Dad. Good men in their own ways, but not the right ones for me.

I needed to discover my OWN sense of self worth. And I continue to, as no doubt we all do.

I am finding, that we attract what we are. If I’m needy, I attract such. A man (or woman) who can’t build up another, is not confident in themselves. What they put out to the world may not be their authentic self. We mirror one another and have the opportunity to learn, (if we’re listening) about ourselves through who we attract.

Find Your Twirl! Photo by Sarah Eubanks Photography

Consider conflict. How often is our first reaction to point a finger. We might consider ourselves the equal culprit. Then, the first thing to do is to forgive ourselves, make the situation what it IS and attempt to shift to something better fitting.

In meeting men and women of late, I notice that I have changed from those years and continue to change. I don’t need people in my world in the same way I have in the past, certainly not men.

But, I need them both to live most fully.

And when I meet either, I am most grateful to recognize their gifts to me. My best friend Lulu is one such example. I recognize our interdependence, how we bring out more in one another than had we not met. I feel SAFE in her presence, I feel her championing who I am AND calling me to the carpet, (in her loving way) when I’m amiss in some way…..not in sync with my true self.

I’ve quoted Carl Jung often, (paraphrased), ‘Love is the process of GENTLY guiding someone into themselves.’ I endorse such thought and hope to celebrate it through action, to the people I love.

And as with my pal Lulu, I’m meeting men in my world who are the same…heartful, be they friends, colleagues or more intimate connections. There is an openness to possibilities and less restriction than I found with my father who had his clear REQUIREMENTS and ‘right and wrong’ rules.

Were he here today in the flesh, I would celebrate who he is and demonstrate a NEW way to love, as he was so deserving.

This morning, I send out gratitude and thanks to the new people gracing my life and to myself for opening my heart to receiving new people, new influences who grace my business, my world….ME! I am perhaps, finding my ‘twirl’!

I encourage you to find YOUR own twirl. It’s certainly where I feel my best…in motion, most alive, free and in my own skin.

With love, always with love….BB Webb