BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

Freedom……just another word? December 22, 2010

As I fly off to Montana looking ever higher. Ever higher.

Toward those untraveled roads.

Merry Christmas, or more simply, great peace, love and joy to you.

BB Webb


Survival of the Fittest You Say? July 4, 2010

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change.”

– Charles Darwin

And might I add to Mr. Darwin’s theory…the ones whose hearts are open.

And, you can’t know the difference until you’ve experienced that openness.

And when you feel it again close, as it does when from time to time, when challenged, when hurt, the world surely darkens and your possibilities seem diminished, you might point a finger outward as if the world or someone in it created your displeasure.

Go back inside, drop back into your heart and the sky will open again.

Trust me on this one.

That’s freedom….and your options are endless. Endless.

BB Webb


Freedom of WHAT? July 3, 2010

‘It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others.’ – Saint John of the Cross

A friend sent that quote to me the other week. Wisdom, knowledge and choice, to me, is freedom….assessing where your time is best spent or not, which endeavors, with which people, with what thinking.

My thinking, the people I spend time with and certainly the endeavors which I embrace or not, are indeed shifting.

And this is a good thing.

This 4th of July freedom holiday in American, it’s curious to me….’holidays’ and how folks perceive them, what we are all conscious or unconscious of in our various worlds.

I am less and less inclined to be a joiner…of frankly much of anything. I like the freedom to change my thinking, my beliefs, my style, my friends, my work, my concerns, my joys. What yesterday was a priority might today not be. Just cause. Cause I changed my mind, or more often than not, my heart.

Waking up to new ways of feeling and being. I want to change my world, thereby changing THE world through my presence in it…in a good way…..oh, if I can. Quietly really. Or, maybe not. I might change my mind.

The same friend mentioned above sent the following thought:

‘Most of us cannot help comparing ourselves with others, at least now and then. In fact, this has become so entrenched today that in order to have self-esteem, it seems almost necessary to say, “I am better than he is, so I am good.” As long as we compete with each other and compare one with another, a certain amount of envy is inescapable. It is the very rare person who is completely free from jealousy.’

I’m thinking today about the idea of self actualization, becoming the best ‘you’ ‘me’ we can be. And it’s entirely personal. Entirely. And with that, I’m wondering what it might feel like, BE like to really not worry what people think, if I am understood, if my intent is received or not.

And with that, I am fully aware that we all need to make things what they ARE before we can change them. So, I intend forward.

I intend forward while I sit with today.

BB Webb


Quantum Change Over Cheese and Laughter June 2, 2010

I have been sleeping a lot during my eye surgery recovery and dreaming. I dream a lot anyway….while awake and especially when asleep. Maurice Sendak’s characters are tame compared to what show up on my inner HD widescreen. I’ve also had time to stop the normal fast spinning ferris wheel of my life for a moment or two and I find ‘things’ settling in new ways inside my particular soul this week.

I’m also in the company of a fellow spiritual warrior-ess….she’s smart, is on an evolutionary hunt, as am I, and enjoys many of the earthbound pleasures which I do, wine and cheese, travel and more travel, learning, surprising discoveries, soul expanding workshops and adventures, books and thinking, films, very high heels and clothes, and coloring our hair shades of red….ooooh and did I mention pretty earrings and bracelets, things that shine and shimmer. We’re perhaps a manner of soul sisters. And ironically, despite not meeting until we were both almost 50, we grew up 5 miles away in the same town in Pennsylvania.

We met in a tantra workshop. Good Lord, when I write or say that word, ‘tantra’ the reactions I’ve received from people are as varied as there are cheeses aging in dusty cellars. Our explorations in the realm of tantra and her sister arts lean toward a heightened awareness of conscious loving, not just the pleasurable, sexual aspects, but the art of caring, paying attention, serving one another through loving care, effective communication, listening, kindness, attentiveness and yes, pleasure being a part of it all. I don’t know which culture or church or political state first tainted healthy loving and sexuality with anything but a natural, splendid part of existence, (remember how we got here folks), but having spent a good part of my life traveling hither and thither around the planet, Westerners tend to be rather uptight around pleasure and sex….or why would every brand of pornography be so rampant…..???

Regardless, (I could rant and rave for pages but will spare you today), my friend and I enjoy journeying to new places within and outside ourselves to perhaps live a more fully realized and expressed existence. That’s just us, and funny, we are in many ways as different as night and day….she more a mathematical sort, me a writer and creative non-linear thinker. We don’t tend to be satisfied with status quo. Well, for me, not one bit, but I never have been….I rather enjoy the hunt and tumble. It’s only my heart that needs soothing time and again as I suffer those famous slings and arrows.

But I’m a strong one.

My friend leads a monthly group called, ‘Consciousness Cafe’, a rather zesty group of soul searchers who come together in this town only three or so hours from my area in Atlanta, to discuss all things expansive, quantum physics, the likes of Eckhart Tolle and today someone who I discovered a Dr. William Miller.

I discovered his book today called, ‘Quantum change: When Epiphanies and Sudden Insights Transform Ordinary Lives’. A zingy subject making my toes want to bend and catapult me upward in a leap, despite being told by my doc to ‘lay low BB, let your eyes and body heal’….I’m all for transformations which take me to new places. I find it fulfilling.

This laying low IS good for me, a new pace for a moment or two, though I did at first feel a bit tied to my bedpost and snarled a spell.

I particularly like this description of Mr. Miller’s book:

‘The authors successfully assert that as a person is guided to a new place of authentic truth within himself or herself, peacefulness and inner strength ensue, and a positive shift in core values results. Unfortunately, the authors do not effectively address the other side that is, quantum changes that bring negative outcomes for the examples they give do not exhibit most of the characteristics of quantum change. Still, this work is valuable because it teaches ordinary people not to fear sudden spiritual encounters.’

So, it may not be a perfect book to everyone, but one, I feel with some potential merit having read a few reviews, for whatever they might be worth. I did however read an excerpt that discussed ‘Twelve Highly Valued Personal Characteristics of Men’, ranked from among 50, BEFORE big life changes, and AFTER.

Important BEFORE: More Important AFTER:
Wealth———- Spirituality
Adventure———- Personal Peace
Achievement———- Family
Pleasure———- God’s Will
Being Respected———- Honesty
Family———- Growth
Fun———- Humility
Self-Esteem———- Faithfulness
Freedom———- Forgiveness
Attractiveness———- Self-Esteem
Popularity———- Loving
Power——— Intimacy

I thought of a few men I’ve known….brothers, friends, lovers, colleagues, acquaintances, mentors, my Dad, his friends. I keep my eyes open, I watch people….often quite closely.

And I thought of some of the tantra teachings I’ve experienced or things I’ve read and my consideration of what a more evolved, manly, loving, in his power, gorgeous, bright, smart and growing man might be to me, what he represents, the healthy placement of his ego, his heart….and that second row of qualities seemed to highlight many of the qualities in such a man.

I’ll work on my own evolution so like might attract like….in all manner of things, business, creativity, heartfulness, play, dancing, loving kindness….there is a lot to enjoy in life, we need not hold back.

I am reminded this week to have a healthy dose of variety on my plate during any given day, week or month…..sugar peas, (I love the ones from Lancaster County, PA best), that lovely seaweed salad I love at sushi restaurants, oooooh, a great filet, Pittsburgh style and medium rate, homemade frozen yogurt, coconut perhaps, and of course a dark chocolate covered almond now and again. Oh, did I mention that rich, aged, robust, BIG glass of red wine. Variety for me please.

The world is a brighter place than we remember most days. My vision is changing. My choices are too. (Is it my doctor or perhaps he merely unleashed some things already inside me helping me to see better)?

I’m all for the light….still lighting candles, one by one, by one……by one. There is no victory in the dark.

I might need to rephrase that.

BB Webb


Entrepreneurialism….IS THIS TRUE????????? May 2, 2010

I believe in entreprenurialism. I believe in creating and manifesting whatever you can! I believe in hard work and passion.

I’d like to believe that this is all possible to do in America, with a good measure of support.

And I soooooooooo wonder. At times I soooooooooo wonder.

Did you know that entrepreneurs make up 75% of the businesses in American. We are America.

Somewhat Recent Statistics about Self-Employment
Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
According to the most recent Non-Employer Statistics published the U.S. Census Bureau, on average 2,356 people go into business for themselves every day. Their firms account for 78 percent of U.S. businesses and $951 billion in receipts.

“Among the fastest-growing industries are Web search portals (41.2 percent), Internet service providers (16.6 percent), nail salons (18 percent), electronic shopping and mail-order houses (12 percent), recreational vehicle dealers (12.1 percent) and landscaping services (11.1 percent).” The top five states in terms of growth in small businesses between 2004 and 2005 were the District of Columbia (9.6 percent), Nevada (7.7 percent), Florida (7.6 percent), Georgia (7.6 percent) and Utah (7.2 percent).

If the video below is true….I’m dumbfounded. Though I have had my own brushes with government this past year which have left me MOST underwhelmed and poised to take action. And I am.

And then, I ran across an interesting school and site called Center for Ethics and Entrepreneurship. Though an all male staff, (with the high stats on female entrepreneurs, that surprised me) but found a great interview with a most savvy woman named Judy Estrin who I INTEND to interview some day soon.

I like her thoughts below on entrepreneurialship and her full interview, all the more compelling:

Kaizen: Your experience and successes also led to your joining the boards of directors of FedEx, along with CEO Fred Smith, and Disney, along with CEO Bob Iger and Steve Jobs. Everyone on those boards is extremely accomplished—what complementary expertise do you bring to those boards?

Estrin: I’ve been on the board of FedEx for 20 years and Disney now for a little over ten. I like to think that I contribute in a variety of says, but three main areas are my entrepreneurial experience, my different perspective as a woman, and my understanding of technology and the Internet.

Kaizen: Looking back on your extensive entrepreneurial experience, what was the most exciting aspect of being an entrepreneur?

Estrin: I don’t know that I can pick just one. One of the most exciting aspects of entrepreneurship is identifying an unmet need and developing a new approach to address that need and then actually seeing it happen. Creating a new market and seeing people use the products and figuring out how you need to adapt it to bring that to market.

The second part is the part I miss the most — teambuilding; when you build a company, you get to create the culture bottom-up, which is very special. People used to joke that I used to talk about my companies as kids. I actually give a presentation where I compare great leadership to great parenting. Ethics and values, whether you’re raising kids or building cultures and companies, are not dictated by little notes on a card — they’re set by example. There are behaviors that you reward, what you tolerate, how you treat different things. It’s built into the fabric. There’s something to me just really wonderful about bringing teams of people together and watching them grow. Individuals that I remember starting working for us right out of school — now I see them off starting companies of their own. So the people part of it is probably the most special aspect that I think back on.

Kaizen: What has been the most challenging aspect of being an entrepreneur? Anything that caused sleepless nights?

Estrin: First of all, being an entrepreneur is really, really, really, really, really hard work. It’s all-consuming. The great entrepreneurs are consumed by passion. It takes a lot of time. It’s a really big commitment. And so you have to realize there are compromises that you give up by throwing yourself into something.

And then — not true in the early years — but one of the reasons why I’m no longer running a company is that, today, the venture-entrepreneurial ecosystem is broken. And so raising money and having to deal with venture capitalists today is an unbelievable frustrating experience. Not across the board, but for the most part. They’ve become very risk-averse. It’s become more adversarial. Now I also think entrepreneurs today are feeling too entitled. They don’t realize that there’s risk involved and how much work is required and often expect returns too quickly. So I would say the venture-entrepreneurial dynamic to me is the most frustrating part.

It’s time to take action, to intend some varied results. Embrace your power….make a positive difference. You can!

BB Webb


Awwww… one will see the back. February 24, 2010

When I was 11 and 12, (ugh….with absolutely NO breasts, skinny as a green bean), in preparation for school, my OH so patient mother would painstakingly help put hot curlers in my hair to make it bounce, as otherwise my very curly hair would have a plan of it’s own and rebel conformity, (as if I didn’t understand). I was so particular about how the front looked, but when in a hurry, (which was every morning as I dawdled til ‘haircurler time’, In my most whiney manner I’d command impertently, (she should have smacked me)….

‘Don’t worry about the back moooooom, I can’t see it anyway. The buuuus is coming!!!!’

My Lord I had a patient mother. I was petulant at times, impatient too, emotional, and once when my brothers drove me one more time to distraction, I threw my hairbrush across the my bedroom and put a huge dent in my wall.

I’m thankful that I wasn’t thrown out of the family.

Watching my mother’s slow anger come to a steam was something I deserved and almost relished to see. How much would it take to make her blow her whistle. (Isn’t that a child’s job, to test the boundaries, the water, their mothers)?

As a sidenote, (cause I’m in the mood), that raucous bit of bad behavior was only surpassed the time my brother Johnny turned off the lights in our basement and left me downstairs.

( I was both scared of the dark AND that cotton pickin’ basement, dadgumit).

I somehow catapulted myself up through the darkness, flew open the door with a strength and speed which only Hercules or Wonder Woman could exude, (I’ve always been strong and ferocious when angry or backed into a corner), and slammed the door right into our 1970’s wood paneled television putting a hole right through the door and ruining the gorgeous wood paneling on this then, very expensive piece of television furniture.

Ooooooh, who was in trouble THEN?

My point….I have one. I think….

Back to ‘hair curler-land’…..Is it important to finish all sides of a project? If you can’t see ‘the back’ can anyone else and does it matter? I remember an author friend of mine telling me once that if he didn’t like a book, he didn’t finish it. I was somewhat aghast. ‘You’re kidding,’ I thought, ‘isn’t that weak? What if it gets better at Chapter 7.’ (I’d suffered through so many Greek tragedies in college I was used to muscling through assignments).

But how freeing, if after a measure of effort, if something isn’t a fit, let it go. ‘Run Forrest, ruuuuun’! (My new favorite saying…(Forrest Gump)! And so, if I began a book and didn’t like it, after a bit of concentration to endeavor to ‘get into it’, if it didn’t jive, on to another as there are piles in every room of my house that have yet to be read. (I like having books around….they’re like friends who at the right time, you open and discover something new….when you are ready).

And then completing projects. I’ve always been creative and needed outlets for expressing my creativity. My mom had a needlecraft shop. I learned to knit and could barely sit through 1/3 or a completed scarf.

‘Good God,’ I thought as a 10 or 11 year old….’you want me to SIT here and KNIT? Are you out of your flippin mind? Sit???’

So, I needed active creative projects as I’m not a good ‘sitter’ (‘and how much easier is it to buy a $5 scarf than knit one’ I thought, and I still do).

So, I don’t think all things need to be ‘finished’. I know when I used to paint paintings, that there never seemed an ending point, but at one point, I needed to move on from my painting. I rather liked the idea when performing plays that with each performance you could add something, evolve the piece, try something new….and at the end of the evening, it was done. You could walk on the bare stage at the end of the evening and feel the energy that was still in the room, but the play was OVER. Unlike a painting, it was not tangible, only in people’s minds.

I think perhaps this is my favorite sort of creation. Create it, then off into the ether.

I loved Joni Mitchell as a teenager, was given ‘Court and Spark’ (in album form) by my trouble making brother Johnny when I had my wisdom teeth out. (Despite driving me mad as a child, I simply adored him as a boy and even more as a man….regardless of his brotherly ‘affection’). I remember listening to that album til it had grooves in it and became scratched and worn.

Years later when Joni’s style and voice really took on a new tamber, I felt betrayed, ‘where had the other Joni gone?’ She’d grown, she’d evolved. I understand now. I get it.

Years and years ago, after I’d put my ‘Through Ruby’s Eyes’ play to rest, people would ask, why don’t you perform it again. Why? Why?

Because I was done. That was then, this is NOW. I was done.

So, when a piece is done, (or half done as my curled hair was), that’s enough…it’s time to move on and that is lovely. For what is ‘done’ anyway, (unless of course you’re talking about cooking chicken. As an event facility owner, I do have my standards, well, and so does the health department), but in other things of life, might not our passions be with the moment, not subject to unnecessary rules or expectations.

Try this, don that, wear this new style until no, I prefer it THIS way, have this favorite food and tomorrow call something else your favorite. Well, why not? (But you always liked tangerines BB….). Well, not now, I’ve changed, I like green olives now….for now. Ask me tomorrow and it might be toast, cooked extra dark, nearly burnt like my mommy used to make it!!

We have the opportunity to shift and move in life….nothing is permanent nor should it be. Loving, the work we do, the friends we choose, the foods we prefer, the work we take on, our lovers, habits, predispositions, policies, homes, customs or traditions. I don’t like doing the same thing every Christmas. One year in Bali please, another in Montana with the family, they’re fun, New York City the following year….and what about Berlin or the ocean??

I’m considering as I sit at my dining room table with dogs strewn about, how I relish the ability to shift and turn, to eat my words, to be more gracious tomorrow, less a push over today, more a grump when moody if I choose, or less so if I choose not.

We have choice and should we not care if someone sees that we’ve not curled the back of our hair, and that it matches the front not at all… be it.

Carpe Diem my friends. Joi de vivre!!

Love, BB Webb


And when it’s time… February 1, 2010

…there is no hesitation…only a forward fall into realms unimagined, like putting on a coat you’ve admired for so long in the store window. Putting it on is better than you dreamed, the texture, weight, smell, the sparkle of its buckles, the feel of its lining on your skin, the way it cloaks your body, the sturdy fabric. You feel warmed, supported and as though you have wings.

And when it’s time. Let go. Release the past.

When it’s time to fall forward, it’s time to fall forward. Don’t hesitate. You’ll miss the moment. Just let go. Open up. Trust. Spread your arms. Go on. Fly baby…fly.

BB Webb