BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

A roundabout she does go and go September 14, 2010

With the cool weather I’m back to my favorite several mile trek taking a little over an hour to cover the ground I choose. It’s good time for me, moving, breathing, allowing my mind to wander as it will. And, like getting a good night of sleep, I wonder, ‘how is it I forgot how good this feels. When did I stop doing this?’

I opted for no music this evening, needing to sort through a pile of thoughts, feelings, things going on at work, in my personal life, considering how to do the many things I SAY are important along with the things which ARE important in managing my business, health, attitude, ‘needs’, desires, curiosities, passions, creative or otherwise. I suppose it’s all rather subjective.

I recall my best pal Lulu, (you’ve heard me no doubt say it before), have no expectations and you won’t be disappointed.

I’m considering, how do we best take care of ourselves? From there, it seems the rest is icing. I like icing but too much makes me sick so I’d best stay with a healthy dose of what I can provide me. That’s where I am today.

Though roundabout I do go…

And during my walk I found my brain messing about with the word fall. Fall as in autumn and falling, falling down, falling in love, leaves falling. And fell…..and this is how queer the mind, (ok, mine), can be……follow this if you dare, (and certainly feel free to ‘fall’ out as you will….)

I considered the words ‘fell’. How close it is to feel. Fall, containing the word ‘all’….backwards llaf, laugh….Laughing at it all as I fall, fall, fall and how I feel, falling and all, laughable the feeling of it all, fell, ELF…Elfen it all, this falling while feeling it all, the all, be all, end all, the lefs falling and how it felt, this fall…..

I had to make myself stop. (Frankly I often worry myself with this brain-heart combo). Circles and circles we can go with no place to go at all. And here is the world in which I find myself….TODAY.

And then to realize it’s all inside us….everything we need, the satisfaction of our desires, really. Falling in love with what is, and ourselves JUST AS WE ARE….this moment then the next….deciding where we need to go or be in any given moment…be it roundabout, home, (inside yourself) or no where at all. The choices are as varied as m&ms in a bag.

And I wonder at the feelings which in any given day can swarm me like locust on a field of (whatever the hell locusts eat), insistent and penetrating.

So I saged my house because it makes me feel good, a ritual I get and it smells delightful to me. It’s my way, felt right. I imbued the smoke with intentions of love, peace, prosperity and joy and wondered at why that is so difficult at times for me to embrace.

So, to bed early as there is nothing more to be done this day, but give thanks, love on my animals, thank the people who both challenge me and the ones who for some reason or another love me, honor the day and the blessings which are mine.

Humbled, as usual and eager to FALL to sleep and preferable STAY there awhile.

BB Webb


Falling Forward August 24, 2010

I felt it….this morning. Unable to sleep….doing my toss-turn-flop-head churning-dreaming thing I do when I can’t sleep. (it’s the dogs and their incessant licking that woke me…..oooooh, my pups….CLEAN pups)!

Okay, Mercury’s in retrograde (and more specifically, here)….my friend Louise keeps me up to date with such things. I’m never sure what that means though I respect forces beyond my comprehension and have surely been witness to the breakdown of my electronic devices, (lo a week before retrograde, me the early bird over-achiever).

But, my internet is back, phone still quixotic in nature on my home turf and the tv….who cares, it’s been blipping in and out of a clear view for well over a week now.

But this morning…after the t-t-thing, (toss-turn), I got up to start my day….most uncharacteristically at 4:50am. Goodness, am I becoming my best pal 2Lu who rarely sleeps over 4 hours a night? (frankly that will never be me). But up I was and as usual, off to feed incessantly licking dogs (who I had to put out of my bedroom at 2am….)….Ernie jumping like a pogo with each step toward the door and his food. He anticipates his feeding frenzy which last a good 20 seconds, that cup of food gobbled in record speed.

There is a lesson there I feel.

Then there is the belly rubbing ritual with Lester, my kitty who is care taker to the other two. I sit on the floor while my coffee burbles and onto his back for a belly rub and drool. It’s a recent ritual that he’ll now not do without. How animals love ritual and, like all of us, to be loved on.

Waiting on my coffee I decided to boil some eggs for lunch. Out with the pan, water 3/4 up the side and 6 eggs, (some for later) into the water. I noticed they were floating and somewhere in the dark reaches of my noggin, I knew that to be odd. I cracked one to give to my kitties (they love the yolk) and pheeeewwww…..instant stink reigned. A green eggs and ham, grey and fecid looking egg.

The very thing I wrote about in my blog last evening. I opened each one and yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck. Down the garbage disposal with some baking soda to kill the stench. Incense was the only cure.

It was then I thought, hmmmmmm…..the power of my thoughts, will, intention. Okay, coincidence you say, writing about a rotten egg and manifesting one (several) the very next day.

I’ll choose my metaphors in life just as I’ll choose my manifesting beliefs. If I’m truly onto newer, greener, shiner pastures, why not herald it big time and consider all possibilities. Why not says I?

And so it is…..and as I found myself microwaving a small bowl of oatmeal, pecans and fresh blueberries, an homage to summer and the onset of fall, (first oatmeal of the season), I opened my door to let Annie kitty indoors and in waft a hint of fall….autumn in Georgia, in August!

It might have been my air conditioning, but I felt something, and not just in how the cool air felt, but that smell, that intoxicating fall time smell. And I was encouraged. I’m not exactly sure about what, but I felt myself falling, falling for something new and I’m not just referring to a new weather pattern or season…..maybe it is me changing.

We are but mirrors of what we put forth.

I’m all for it. I am all for a new vibe.

‘Rally forth’ I heard me say to myself, ‘let it go….let all that doesn’t server you go,’ as I sipped that first hot, strong sip of brew.

And I found myself singing Bonnie’s song….to myself.

Fearless Love

Come my love
Come bravely to me
Let your heart be still
For our time
Has come my tender one
To be free of will

And fly
Blind on fearless love
Let them wild winds blow
We’ll shine
On all we’re fearful of
Then we’ll let it go
Let it go

Skippin’ stones
Across the great unknown
Safe at water’s edge
Don’t look down, baby
We’re gonna leave this losin’ town
(and) leap out from the ledge

And fly
Blind on fearless love
Let them wild winds blow
We’ll shine
On all we’re fearful of
Then we’ll let it go
Let it go

BB Webb