BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

It’s not WHAT you’re doing that matters… May 16, 2010

…it’s how what you’re doing AFFECTS you that matters.

Where are activities, beliefs, people, your ‘story’ a decoy to what is true in you??

Holding secrets, (not the kind I was referring to in my last post), or being true to who you really are, being less than real to yourself, or the ones you love about WHO you are, is antithetical to a true spiritual life.

Just thinking.

As we ‘expand’ and move into our hearts, being less than who we really are feels as awful as mosquito bites all over our body or swimming with rats. (I don’t enjoy rats in any manner).

Where might we tap into what we might fuel ourselves with ALL by ourselves, (hint, generated through heart focus) rather than trying to get seeming ‘goodies’ through others, or chasing after empty sources which we work to embue with meaning.

I’m not sure how to be much clearer at present. I know that something bigger than my mere human self is key for this expansion and goal toward self actualization, moving more into my spiritual self.

My heart tells me so. My ego works to refute that and more.

Ahhh well. Be that as it may. I’ll continue to speculate, though, Proust said it quite well.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

– Marcel Proust

BB Webb

 

Awake From A Dream And Back Again April 19, 2010

I awoke, recently….with this paragraph steaming through my head.

‘And so you should…..seek ever greater authenticity.

….and always a connection to heart, which to me, is imagining the walk in another’s shoes while standing solidly in your own. Listening for what you don’t yet realize. Being open to the breath and wisdom between thoughts.

Compassion is strength, mind is the servant to the heart.

Anything less is nearing fraud, certainly misery.

Our nature IS to be loving, but we’ve somehow mucked it up and confused it with the herd mentality of our times.

There are other ways to live.’

And then I fell back asleep. For a long, long, looooong time.

I can feel the ‘coconut’ cracking.

That’s a good thing!

BB Webb

 

Making things what they are… February 5, 2010

…before you can change them.

I was presented this notion many years ago and am considering it as I ponder with eyes wide open this evening.

I am considering how we delude ourselves and often decide to ‘not face the music,’ (a quite interesting expression). Why would someone NOT want to face the music? Because they don’t want to hear? Ahhh, maybe that’s it….thinking out loud….

I digress…

If I were a lazy person, and decided I wanted to not be so lazy, I would have to first admit and realize the truth about myself….that I was indeed lazy.

Well, I’m not lazy, so I can face THAT music.

Another favorite thought of mine relates here as well, ‘how you do anything, is how you do everything.’ If I’m a lazy sycophant at work, chances are, I’m a lazy sycophant at home. Maybe.

Well, laziness isn’t my issue, but I have others!…and come on, we all do, or why are we on planet earth for heaven’s sake. (Curious expression, ‘for heaven’s sake’, I can’t BEGIN to fathom where THAT one came from….enlighten me please if you know. Maybe because heaven is so cool, we should do things, for heaven’s sake…because it is HEAVEN).

I’m all over the board tonight.

(The ‘board’….imagine being from another country coming here….how would you know what things mean??)

Back to my premise….making things what they are…my inestimable mother had a practice which she shared with me. I remember her conversation with me most clearly. In her loving and sincere, caring tone she told me,

‘Honey, we all have issues, things we are working through. That’s life and that’s good. But imagine you have a filing cabinet and it is FILLED with the many ‘issues’ you contemplate. Imagine just taking one of the issue files out of your filing cabinet a day. And one by one, you will solve your mysteries, conquer your fears, learn to master who you are and why you were brought here.’

She was wise in so many ways. (Funny too, hysterical in moments….roll off the sofa laughing sort of mom. Gooolly where is Kitty Vogel now? That lovely Romanesque nose, those pretty hazel eyes. Playing cards in ‘heaven’ I was told, for heaven’s sake, well, and her own, she loved playing cards!

Allow me to dream a moment here. To have just an hour with her again, sharing her wisdom and her love for me, playing cards to watch her laugh and smile. (She ALWAYS beat me at both scrabble and rummy). If not physically, in spirit, (truly) she was in each audience where I performed, her face appeared in each scary new endeavor I had, giving me courage. SHE was a champion of rare cut.

I do however sense her always in the ether, but in the flesh was sooooo much better. I am a spiritual being, of course, having this often peevish human experience and I like to touch things, to hug my friends, to feel the fur on my kitty Lester’s back, the warmth of hot tea going down my throat and how my flannel sheets feel when I crawl inside them each night, better yet next to someone I find scrumptious. I like all my senses. I relish parts of being human.

Other parts honestly suck, but I understand the need for it all.

But….making things what they are. It’s empowering to ‘face the music,’ to OWN in a sense where you are. With no shame, no embarrassment, (as that’s just other people’s judgements which we shame ourselves with). But, to admit you are out of shape and want to be fit, is a first step toward change. If you are messy and want to be a tidy fellow, well, knowing the truth about yourself is a great first step. It’s good, it’s real, it’s bold.

I like bold!

To know that you only tell half the truth and want to be more transparent, ahhh, good to know.

Or sitting with your grief, your discontent, your anxiousness. One must move ‘through’ where we are to get to another place, as there is NO other way. There are no short cuts to getting rich, becoming fit, healthy or moving through ‘things’ until you simply make them what they are, feel it all, (no numbing out now) and tra laaaa, you will find yourself somewhere new. And truly, each step for me is ultimately ALWAYS better. I like better!

I like that….growth, a new day, a new, better perhaps, way of being, or living, a new hairstyle, (always fun), new food, new travel, new adventure, new comrades to share your journey, new ways to be loving, of course.

If you are unhappy and want to find happiness, you need first admit where you are and then look within yourself, not outside yourself, for solutions. Where might I change things in my life. Do I need new friends, a new job, a new mate, a better me?

Oh good heavens, I’m preaching to the choir, honestly, (Curious expression as well, I guess the choir has heard it ALL!)

Carolyn Myss wrote a book I’ve mentioned before and which I found quite revealing, amazing really. It’s called, ‘Anatomy of the Spirit’. In this book, Ms. Myss discusses how physical ailments arrive in our lives when we are not living in tandem with where our spirits, our souls need to be. She chronicles the lives of many people who once they made significant life changes, how their ailment disappeared as they moved into the right life for them.

They admitted, ‘fessed up’ to where they were, and in making that real and conscious, they could change things.

I am undergoing GREAT shifts in my life…and I feel it has been long in coming, (though I always feel that…I’m a little impatient….ooooh…..okay, I hear guffaws of laughter from all reaches of the Universe…, I’m probably VERY impatient). I am willing to ‘face the music’ and I hope that this music in time will be something uproariously grand and that a large ballroom or field is involved with partners in every corner to dance with as I am over-ready, over-done, perhaps undone and ready to go. I’m ready to go.

Evening thoughts by a Georgia fire in the woods.

BB Webb

 

Art, Religion and the Search… January 19, 2010

I feel perhaps I’m in a most pensive stage of late….I’ve got some serious questions and some serious discerning to do. It’s almost like looking at a photo from the backside if there were such a thing. My choice is always to support the highest within whatever situation or thought I encounter. I’m finding that this thinking serves me and others well and supports the best within everyone, including myself. And to me, it’s the most loving choice and I’ve never regretted making that choice ever!

I’m reading actress Ellen Burstyn’s autobiography entitled, ‘Lessons in Becoming Myself.’ I’m thoroughly engaged in her journey which I find a bit unsettling in areas, as perhaps I relate to it in so many ways, a journey peppered with the necessary highs and lows of growth much like my own.

She asserts,

‘It was during The Trip to Bountiful that my creative energies returned to me in a flood and I had my first experience of transcendence through the creative process. By then I’d answered my own question of why, as Kazan said, ‘talent, like beauty, faces.’ It came to me in a quote from Ouspensky: ‘Art is the search for beauty, as religion is the search for truth.’ The operative word here is search. It is not in the finding; it is the search. That’s why, after an artist has won awards and received the world’s acclaim, she can make the mistake of believing that she ‘knows.’ It is not in ‘the knowing’ that the search occurs. It is a living process where creativity thrives. It is standing in the space of ‘I don’t know’ with dissatisfaction with what has already been achieved, and eagerness to open up to the unknown.’

Ellen Burstyn created a new path for women through the work she created and by way of being an example. She speaks of key areas which interest me, a universality around religious thoughts, the feminine spirit and heart, the difference between judging and discernment, our ‘mistakes’ as part of our growth primer, the power of giving from the heart, being an example of the truths to which you speak, and the necessity of going ‘within’ to find the answers we seek.

She spent time with the renowned Rosalyn Bruyere, an energy healer with whom my own mentor, Dr. Fernand Poulin has studied. Her journey into herself took many forms and she certainly traveled many miles to arrive in a place, or where she continues to arrive, evermore awake as to her purpose perhaps for being on the planet. She melds esoteric and metaphysical thought into her day to day in a way I find inspiring and thoughtful and I appreciate the questions she has asked on her journey and the transparency of her story.

I so appreciate women I learn about who might be models on my own path. My intent is to celebrate women in our world today who demonstrate and reflect a similar curiosity and heart, thereby being an example to other women (and men), on their way to ‘becoming’.

BB Webb

 

Our ‘arriving’ and distractions inherent on the path… September 26, 2009

I’m amused, distracted really by my own distractions..

Distraction: Origin:
1425–75; late ME (< AF) < L distractiōn- (s. of distractiō) separation. See distract, -ion

Head in Clouds

Head in Clouds


1. the act of distracting.
2. the state of being distracted.
3. mental distress or derangement: That child will drive me to distraction.
4. that which distracts, divides the attention, or prevents concentration: The distractions of the city interfere with my studies.
5. that which amuses, entertains, or diverts; amusement; entertainment: Fishing is his major distraction.
6. division or disorder caused by dissension; tumult.
Synonyms:
madness, lunacy, insanity, craziness.

I like especially the synonyms for distraction….lunacy, insanity….madness, craziness. I must be mad! (Please don’t poll my friends). I am clearly pulled by shiny objects, engaging rhetoric, the potential of adventure and attraction and as for many of us, heartache. And certainly anything in the category of ‘bling’!

Though, I’m intrigued… ‘mental distress or derangement’. Mental distress I can relate to….the things which unnecessarily pull me from where I want to focus. To me it’s like brain clutter. I don’t like clutter. Sitting in quietude might be a help for those of us so accustomed to incessant brain noise affecting focus. I clearly covet my ‘alone time’.

Or dancing. Dancing clears my head of clutter. I like getting lost in the movement, the music, the rhythm. Why then do we avoid what might be best for us? Lack of discipline? Are we distracted, by work, by the ‘fires’ inherent in building businesses, our striving, attempts to improve how we do what we do? Perhaps the pain of the other, the lack of ‘arriving’ where we intend, reaching our goals, perhaps the pain of not getting there has not been REAL enough???

I like when a new vision for how to ‘do’ my life arrives. I wonder too if YOU often find yourself arriving in yet another new place, a new perception, a new way of viewing yourself and the world. I suppose the potential of arriving in the NEW is what ultimately helps me through my distractions.

I clearly have more time on my hands than other people do, to ponder such thinking….no kid’s mouths to wipe, my dogs prefer not being bathed regularly, my house is a little dusty, but I don’t mind. I like being distracted with some things though most favorably in directions of greater possibility and new, positive growth.

But again, that’s just me. And today I am counting my innumerable blessings and that I have the time to write about and consider such things, as ‘arriving’ I must go.

BB Webb