I began this week vetching (maybe) about what I perceive as authenticity and struggle. I am working through coaxing the first to emerge within myself organically, (yes, in a culture less accepting of differences) and I’m sitting this morning, (with gorgeous dogwood trees, my favorite, just outside my window), considering the true gifts around what feels like ‘struggle’ in ones life.
I had a moment this week, (it was more than a moment), where I felt the weight, abject heaviness of uncertainly in areas of my life I’m dealing with, feeling myself wanting to PUSH for a solution, that frankly is not quite ready to come yet.
I could feel that PART of myself rallying in her frantic, unstoppable way, with a drive I don’t enjoy, intent on getting her way…..
I am reminded here of a song I wrote in my play many moons ago, ‘Through Ruby’s Eyes’ called, ‘I Want it NOW!’ The chorus being,
‘I want it now, now, now, now, now, now, NOW!”….gee, not obtuse one bit!!
Imagine a rock n roller whose body is moving faster than her words, a physical and vocal display of youthful obstinance, petulance and hysteria!
This song coupled by the later ‘You Gotta Wait’ song. (Funny, in looking back, how clearly these messages were lining up as tiny tips of wisdom from God and the Universe channeling through me at the time, a dichotomy of sort)…
‘I Want it Now’ with ‘You Gotta Wait’.
Life IS stranger than fiction!
The chorus to the latter,
‘You gotta wait and it’ll come to you, be patient too, be patient too, it’s all right it’s okay, abandon of the safety valve, value YOU, value YOU!’
Good God! Soooo….struggle has value. It is a teacher. And if we’ll wait, wait out the petulant child, a message will come on how we might best move forward, in our OWN way, in an authentic manner which not only OTHERS will feel, but which, ohhh, if we trust, will feel right to us as well.
The magical Universe, God, All that Is, call that force he, she, it, them,what you will…..
Struggle defines us. And might I redefine struggle.
I’m so thankful to not be alone.
With love, always with love,