A major ‘aha’….(they’re coming like popcorn kernels these days) hit me like a small stone on the head this morning. I’ve felt changes brewing within a lot over the last weeks and months….(I’ve had a direction in mind for quite some time)…but of late, I’m being ‘popped’ around quite a bit and that’s fine…I can handle it. And, I’m listening. I am.
As I organize my ‘to dos’…..(there were 43 I targeted last evening, small and not so small ones…I try never to have more than my age!!), and pulled back to look at the bigger picture which I enjoy in my life, I know for sure that though I am responsible for ALL the details in my company, (and have a high expectation of working toward perfect…no chastising now, I know that’s not possible….though the intent drives one in that direction), I know that the headiness of that intent is on ME as owner and creator of that enterprise though I know FULL and WELL that I do not thrive on MANAGING those details.
So….the plan, creating processes, procedures and protocol to work in that direction to then get another person to do that job, and please, much better than me….which really shouldn’t be that hard….though with my passion for it all, or vision, probably not. I’ve been a step parent and though I have no children of my own, I do love what I consider ‘mine’ and our baby is always more precious than someone else’s. Just is.
So, my path is before me and I will not let my vision nor intentions go amuck with distractions unworthy of my true heart and spirit…and how easy it is for both to become squashed by the world, by people, intentional or not. We must all protect what is true FOR US. This morning….I GET that. No need for approval and certainly no need for others opinions or need for approval on what is right FOR YOU! Got it.
So, when shopping last week, taking a moment of a semi day off to do the domestic things that need be done in my world, I saw actress Betty White’s book, ‘Here We Go Again’ and took it off the shelf. I’ve been a non-reader for awhile, my many moments usurped with all manner of OTHER things. I’m not sure why I was drawn to her book other than I feel she exemplifies a positivity I admire, a spirit, a tenacity in gracious terms and a model of how to live a life (I suspected) with a scintillating verve and heart, openness. And, she grew up and helped influence a field of entertainment to which I wish to venture. I admire especially her ‘live’ work. Chutzpa she’s GOT!
And, I yearn for older female models as I feel in many ways life is taking a turn for me in directions I’ve long awaited. I can feel my readiness mounting. For me, I am finding, little else matters except following these calls of passion!
Her book, an easy, fun read, taking my mind off a preponderance of ‘heavy’ to which I need relief from regularly. And this morning, laughing as I drink coffee in my cozy bed, all four footers outside giving me peace and quiet, I am relishing her stories of early television in our country, the live programming and improvisations performed. I am working to carve out time for my own writing and on screen or stage creations…..my heart and intellect gravitates there.
And then I came upon a quote from a colleague of hers who wrote, “For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.’
I laughed out loud for a solid thirty seconds. indeed!! Let others decide how the world should be run, give up the struggle ‘Dorothy’, and continue marching to your own drum beat. Leggo needing to arrange the entire universe in a way that seems fit FOR YOU, Ms. BB!
And with that, for now, I prefer my own company as my tendency (with all this GM-ing of late) is to direct, lead, opinionate, judge.
What truly do I have authority over or control?? Very, very little.
I feel the need to meditate on that thought so I might resonate with that truth when I am out and about in the various areas of my world. But for now, with gate shut, doors locked, quiet surrounding me…..I find this hibernating zone, perfect, desired and RIGHT……for me!
So from my nest here, alone, in perfect solitude, I rest my case to myself….as I softly whittle away at the dreams which ignite and inspire ME. The other ants on this earth mound, have at it. I’ll do my best to stay out of your way. Thank you for allowing me mine!
Such a morning it is!!
With gratitude, and love, always. Good intentions to everyone and might we all find our own peace within this world.