I have been sleeping a lot during my eye surgery recovery and dreaming. I dream a lot anyway….while awake and especially when asleep. Maurice Sendak’s characters are tame compared to what show up on my inner HD widescreen. I’ve also had time to stop the normal fast spinning ferris wheel of my life for a moment or two and I find ‘things’ settling in new ways inside my particular soul this week.
I’m also in the company of a fellow spiritual warrior-ess….she’s smart, is on an evolutionary hunt, as am I, and enjoys many of the earthbound pleasures which I do, wine and cheese, travel and more travel, learning, surprising discoveries, soul expanding workshops and adventures, books and thinking, films, very high heels and clothes, and coloring our hair shades of red….ooooh and did I mention pretty earrings and bracelets, things that shine and shimmer. We’re perhaps a manner of soul sisters. And ironically, despite not meeting until we were both almost 50, we grew up 5 miles away in the same town in Pennsylvania.
We met in a tantra workshop. Good Lord, when I write or say that word, ‘tantra’ the reactions I’ve received from people are as varied as there are cheeses aging in dusty cellars. Our explorations in the realm of tantra and her sister arts lean toward a heightened awareness of conscious loving, not just the pleasurable, sexual aspects, but the art of caring, paying attention, serving one another through loving care, effective communication, listening, kindness, attentiveness and yes, pleasure being a part of it all. I don’t know which culture or church or political state first tainted healthy loving and sexuality with anything but a natural, splendid part of existence, (remember how we got here folks), but having spent a good part of my life traveling hither and thither around the planet, Westerners tend to be rather uptight around pleasure and sex….or why would every brand of pornography be so rampant…..???
Regardless, (I could rant and rave for pages but will spare you today), my friend and I enjoy journeying to new places within and outside ourselves to perhaps live a more fully realized and expressed existence. That’s just us, and funny, we are in many ways as different as night and day….she more a mathematical sort, me a writer and creative non-linear thinker. We don’t tend to be satisfied with status quo. Well, for me, not one bit, but I never have been….I rather enjoy the hunt and tumble. It’s only my heart that needs soothing time and again as I suffer those famous slings and arrows.
But I’m a strong one.
My friend leads a monthly group called, ‘Consciousness Cafe’, a rather zesty group of soul searchers who come together in this town only three or so hours from my area in Atlanta, to discuss all things expansive, quantum physics, the likes of Eckhart Tolle and today someone who I discovered a Dr. William Miller.
I discovered his book today called, ‘Quantum change: When Epiphanies and Sudden Insights Transform Ordinary Lives’. A zingy subject making my toes want to bend and catapult me upward in a leap, despite being told by my doc to ‘lay low BB, let your eyes and body heal’….I’m all for transformations which take me to new places. I find it fulfilling.
This laying low IS good for me, a new pace for a moment or two, though I did at first feel a bit tied to my bedpost and snarled a spell.
I particularly like this description of Mr. Miller’s book:
‘The authors successfully assert that as a person is guided to a new place of authentic truth within himself or herself, peacefulness and inner strength ensue, and a positive shift in core values results. Unfortunately, the authors do not effectively address the other side that is, quantum changes that bring negative outcomes for the examples they give do not exhibit most of the characteristics of quantum change. Still, this work is valuable because it teaches ordinary people not to fear sudden spiritual encounters.’
So, it may not be a perfect book to everyone, but one, I feel with some potential merit having read a few reviews, for whatever they might be worth. I did however read an excerpt that discussed ‘Twelve Highly Valued Personal Characteristics of Men’, ranked from among 50, BEFORE big life changes, and AFTER.
Important BEFORE: More Important AFTER:
Adventure———- Personal Peace
Pleasure———- God’s Will
Being Respected———- Honesty
I thought of a few men I’ve known….brothers, friends, lovers, colleagues, acquaintances, mentors, my Dad, his friends. I keep my eyes open, I watch people….often quite closely.
And I thought of some of the tantra teachings I’ve experienced or things I’ve read and my consideration of what a more evolved, manly, loving, in his power, gorgeous, bright, smart and growing man might be to me, what he represents, the healthy placement of his ego, his heart….and that second row of qualities seemed to highlight many of the qualities in such a man.
I’ll work on my own evolution so like might attract like….in all manner of things, business, creativity, heartfulness, play, dancing, loving kindness….there is a lot to enjoy in life, we need not hold back.
I am reminded this week to have a healthy dose of variety on my plate during any given day, week or month…..sugar peas, (I love the ones from Lancaster County, PA best), that lovely seaweed salad I love at sushi restaurants, oooooh, a great filet, Pittsburgh style and medium rate, homemade frozen yogurt, coconut perhaps, and of course a dark chocolate covered almond now and again. Oh, did I mention that rich, aged, robust, BIG glass of red wine. Variety for me please.
The world is a brighter place than we remember most days. My vision is changing. My choices are too. (Is it my doctor or perhaps he merely unleashed some things already inside me helping me to see better)?
I’m all for the light….still lighting candles, one by one, by one……by one. There is no victory in the dark.
I might need to rephrase that.