BB Webb as BB Webb!

Exploring the Possibilities

I wonder? May 19, 2010

I wonder how I will look back on this period in my life 5 years from now.

I’ll wonder how I made it through.

I’ll consider the relationships, ups, downs, arounds and how much I learned from it all, consider the people I still love, whether they are active in my life or not.

I’ll remember my dogs, little skinny Annie my kitty who may not make it much past today, young though she is.

I’ll wonder how things shifted so and that I am flowing with a new current, still full of complexity and challenge, but of a new flavor.

And I’ll wonder no doubt how I lived without certain people in my life, people maybe I’m yet to meet or get to know.

And I’ll be amazed again at how much forgiveness I carry in my heart for others, how ever I reached the heights I’ve climbed.

I’ll wonder at why more people aren’t vibrating at the speed to which I’ve grown accustomed.

Oh, and they’ll be more….no doubt, no doubt.

The importance of being in your skin, heart, body and soul.

BB Webb

 

It’s not WHAT you’re doing that matters… May 16, 2010

…it’s how what you’re doing AFFECTS you that matters.

Where are activities, beliefs, people, your ‘story’ a decoy to what is true in you??

Holding secrets, (not the kind I was referring to in my last post), or being true to who you really are, being less than real to yourself, or the ones you love about WHO you are, is antithetical to a true spiritual life.

Just thinking.

As we ‘expand’ and move into our hearts, being less than who we really are feels as awful as mosquito bites all over our body or swimming with rats. (I don’t enjoy rats in any manner).

Where might we tap into what we might fuel ourselves with ALL by ourselves, (hint, generated through heart focus) rather than trying to get seeming ‘goodies’ through others, or chasing after empty sources which we work to embue with meaning.

I’m not sure how to be much clearer at present. I know that something bigger than my mere human self is key for this expansion and goal toward self actualization, moving more into my spiritual self.

My heart tells me so. My ego works to refute that and more.

Ahhh well. Be that as it may. I’ll continue to speculate, though, Proust said it quite well.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

– Marcel Proust

BB Webb

 

The flavor of change and connection really.

Curiously the number of readers of this blog are growing and I’m this morning wondering who you are? Where do you come from, what sparks your fancy?

I’m readying for an adventure….in about a week and a half, an adventure different from the day-to-day adventures that fill my life.

I’ll be going away….it’s a secret where, just because.

I had a former boyfriend, an endlessly tall man with a Romanesque nose that I adored, large hands and a body that could move like a sailboat in the wind. Yes, he could dance too and he introduced me to ‘The Cars’ and that’s pretty darn special.

This man taught me something I’ll never forget. (He also penned me ‘BB’ all those years ago). As an emotional Italian man, he shared,

‘you have to keep one part of yourself JUST to yourself….hold a place that no one can see, no one knows, not even your closest friend or lover.’

For as transparent as I am here or certainly with close, close friends, (not as much with family….black sheep thing and all), there is that place inside that really only me and I would imagine God know about. And we talk alot, God and me. He gets me….better than I get me really.

Wiley Pete needs no protected spot.


And I like having that protected spot. It’s an ‘allowing’ sort of place, it allows for expansion and that is ALWAYS what I crave.

So, I’ll be headed out awhile, a comely livestock ‘sitter’ tending the four footers and the two with gills. And I suspect all manner of things will twist and turn and bring me to some new places. And that’s exactly why I go away from time to time.

So, I’m readying the home front, getting the new team members at Carl House up to snuff, (cool expression though haven’t a CLUE where it came from. Perhaps you know).

So, if you are so daring, share a thought, an opinion here. I’d be delighted with some back and forth.

Petey at Large

And speaking of those private places, how hidden we can be behind our computers….ready, gleaning all manner of things ’round the Universe, in our jammies, sipping tea as we render thoughts or merely take in the PLETHORA of information available at certainly MY painted fingertips.

I’m raring for change….

And my kitties, sprawled out on the top of my sofa where I sit….Wiley Pete insistent on ‘kneading me’…I continue to gently push him aside, those pesky claws hurt, so he then leans on me and does that famous head butt. They like routine these furry ones, they like my company, to be fed regularly and to go in and out and in and out and to sleep on my clothes. Simple and lovely.

My world, it swirls about a bit more.

I relish positive change and connections to folks, all the stuff of adventuring about!

Soooo…..stay tuned…adventures and expansion afoot!

BB Webb

 

Fell On…..KnEe…..The Only Steps That Matter…. May 13, 2010

….are the ones you take all by yourself.

The Weepies said it and I concur.

I hired a felon today. A sad young man caught up in the spider web of government gone awry. We checked him out, thoroughly I might add. He was in the wrong place at the wrong time….too sad and unfortunate a saga to go into here. 10 years in prison for being in the wrong car at the wrong time.

And on Oprah I heard that a woman adopted 4 children and starved them to death. She got 4 years. This kid got 10….cause he had a shitty attorney and a government that is uneven and reckless.

I’m not in love with our government at this present moment and I have some work to do.

A momentary and related digression. I met a terrific fellow yesterday, a Tom Schulte who is out to change the world through the work he is doing and the work he is promoting in leadership. Tom has a network of over 14,000 in his Linked In group. An affable, smart, sharp man, easy to laughter, the two of us cutting up in the Frassrand Room at Carl House.

I shared that I had made many errors as leader in my organization but that I was on a stalwart path to become not just a good leader, but that I want to evolve into a GREAT one, to make a positive and demonstrable difference, turning lights on all over the planet, universe really. I admitted though that I was more a vision sort and not particularly good at managing people.

And then came the ‘aha’ statement from my new friend Tom:

‘You can’t manage people BB, you can manage systems and processes, but you LEAD people.’

How had that not hit me before. Wow. Double wow. I got it. I really GOT it. Lessons, coaching, past experiences all became clear, why I’ve had conflict with people and on and on.

But back to this young man. He was released from prison in November and no one as yet has hired him, the ‘felony’ they say. He deserves a chance. We all do. I spent a good bit of time with him, talking about what is important to him, where he wants to go, what he wants to do, what he learned. He’s humble, quiet and yes, deserves an opportunity. With his upcoming scullery job, I’ll guess that the dishes in my venue will experience a cleaning like they’ve never had. A hunch.

So, he will make his own steps, I’ve only created a fertile playground and apparently his loving parents converted their basement into a private apartment for him. That’s love. And I hope he does well. His dream, to be a Park Ranger. He won’t be allowed to as he’s stamped much like in the Scarlet Letter, a big ‘F’ on his forehead.

I’d prefer to see a ‘P’…..for possibilities. I shared how I felt he had an advantage over others having had that mind bending experience. His sense of gratitude is sky high. His appreciation of freedom, off the charts. His path is that much clearer having been where he never wants to return. No kidding!

I hope he’ll move into wearing a smile in time. 10 years in prison because you sat in the wrong car while your pals did bad things. Rough. Truly. The fall-on-my-knees kind of rough.

The only steps that matter are the ones we make all by ourselves.

You can do it buddy, and I’ll be the eager onlooker cheering you on.

And oh, should you hire a person charged with a ‘Fell-On-KnEe’ in YOUR business, you get a tax credit of $2400. Well, there’s the government making a tad of sense.

I’m still out to change the world, me and Tom Schute……one heartbeat at a time….I think I’ll start with mine.

Courage my friend.

BB Webb

 

Weary Yet Fortified…My Expanding Universe! May 11, 2010

Ahhhh….transition of the most effective kind….pulling out weeds from my garden, which (unless they are edible), do little to enhance the scenery, my garden, or in this case, my business. I feel full of purpose this morning.

Fuel and Movement....let it flow.

I worked a momumental 34 hours in 2 and a half days, not unusual, but the type of work was….back on the front line of my business for a spell, on my feet racing around, up, down and around for hours and hours, training side by side my new folks, coaching the older ones to new structures and order. I prefer writing if I am to work those hours, or managing details from my laptop…..organizing and creating new ‘stuff’….but, sometimes this I find is called for….all to a determined and resolute end.

I am cleaning house….and I find I’m quite good at that when I apply myself. And applying I am. I am taking no prisoners. I know how ‘things’ must fit, it is not unlike fashioning a puzzle. The process full of tornado energy fueled by great lightning impulses for change and movement. Ooooh, I feel it, I am unstoppable!

I have preferences, everyone knows it. I’m a bully for close to perfection and in the same way which I’ll protect an employee if bullied by a rude and uncaring client, I protect my clients and guests so they are served to the nth degree. (I don’t know what the ‘nth’ degree is, but it portends magnitude….my meaning here for sure)!

And this weekend, with newness afoot and much enthusiasm….there was indeed a lot to pay attention to and some near falls caught by me, as I know these ropes. So, I played every role I know except financial wizard, (that’s Lois’ job…and she performs it well, thus, she’s named, ‘The Hammer’ as she knows how to protect my business (and me) from financial sabotage).

An Expanding Universe as Are We!

And I am learning that as well. Pull the weeds of non-fit or ineptitude. Hurry them along on their way but not to play in my garden. There is enough to do in organizing and manifesting desires in the day-to-day operations of a growing business I find.

So, I am focused like a laser beam, playful still to a degree, but I am taking big, determined steps. And please, be careful not to step in front of me as I might inadvertently walk over you or worse, step on you. Sorry about that…I don’t mean to….I just know myself. When determined, I have a KEEN sense of direction and certainly drive.

I know what needs to be done and though this is not a role I can play at all times, (the doing part or even this arranging, as I’m eager soon to have a team who is as clear and adept), I know this is my job.

And the places we’ll go. And are. It’s exciting. Check lists, processes being designed, procedures to be followed. Ooooh, the harping by mentors past I hear. I am in full force, doing as instructed and they would no doubt be proud. I on the other hand am thankful to see the necessary path for where I’m headed. Once I am clear, I’m like a Sherman Tank….onward ho.

And, I’m for sure weary, but in a good way as things are moving forward….’as if’ as if ANYTHING were and IS possible.

As surely as ‘thoughts are things’ (was it Norman Vincent Peale who rallied those words), so too are my ideas…..taking form and shape as I write…

There is time to rest another day….and to play….and to look back with a smile to all the chaos and angst of these last years. The people who have come and gone, the ones still in my heart because that’s just the way it is with some folks, there is a connection of sorts that’s unexplainable….whether they to me matters not…some people just appear on my radar for a spell….some longer.

With others, a thank you for most of all the lessons learned, how they have served me in ways. And yes, some I’m most happy to see gone, lessons learned perhaps, but urgh, some people leave a vile taste in my mouth even after they’ve been gone a long time.

(it’s then I bring out my sage stick and burn away….I have no room for funky, sour energy, it’s not compatible with my spirit).

Though I let the certain ones go who seem no longer to have an interest in my particular world, I welcome them to do as they please, (of course), but hold a lovely place in my heart, for only a few, to return should they choose.

But, I will be changed somewhat….as that is what I do, and might I add, I do it well. I grow and change and unfold like a flower, tree, cat with an apparent 9 lives…..dying periodically to only blossom again…..as it should be.

I don’t like Facebook, as I don’t particularly care to ‘re-connect’ to my past much. I am a ship sailing forward, not inclined to spend any time in reverse.

And, I was reminded today, by our very Universe,
‘For the earnest student, BB, taking responsibility means never forgetting to have fun.’
Seriously, The Universe

Well, surely!

And when this journey hits a finishing point, on this particular plain, might I be a dogwood tree or at least my ashes put beneath one when I die.

BB Webb

 

Awwww Kitty….A Brand New Day May 9, 2010

Kitty, readying for a parasail...she was 64 years old!

“No one can go back and make a brand new start, my friend, but anyone can start from here and make a brand new end.”

– Dan Zadra

And while we’re at it….

“Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always.”

Dan Zadra

She's never really far away!

In thanks to my mother, ‘Kitty’, Kathryn Royer Vogel Myers Banta Richards Richards Vogel….a woman who knew change and was exemplary of a life lived with heart, passion and absolute forgiveness. She taught me the love of animals, convinced me I could do ANYTHING and demonstrated a heartfulness which fills me through each day I wake. She’s been gone physically from the planet for 12 years but lives fully in my heart every day.

She was a woman of steel who crumbled only in losing her breath and our breath, afterall, is the one thing we can’t live without for very long. Food, even water we can spare awhile, but breath, it is the stuff of heart. Breath is passion, something to wake up and be excited about with each day!

Love to all the mothers who nurture and grow our days. May they feel loved, protected, cared for and appreciated, each and every day.

With deep appreciation and gratitude to my mother. I’m not sure how, but my love grows stronger for you each and every day. It’s that love that pulls me through each challenge and every moment of EVERY day.

Ooooh, for the loving women in the world. Honor them, please.

BB Webb

 

The Nature of Man May 7, 2010

Okay….women too.

I’m sitting this morning readying for a 5 event weekend at Carl House….(a big thank you for that)….I’m wondering why we all tend to rally to defense instead of work to see another’s point of view.

I’m no doubt guilty at times here as well.

What is it we feel we need to defend? Being right?

Might we consider instead to be loving, instead of the desire to always be RIGHT.

Many a relationship would be better served, could we but embrace that perspective, no doubt.

It’s a gorgeous day and indeed there is a boatload of things to be grateful for in this day.

For instance, that yellow dog with black tinted ears who guards me outside the big doors in my bedroom. He knows only to be loving that one. A protector, a loving sweet doggie soul.

Animals are great teachers in many things, should we pay attention, notice.

Consider your heart today….it truly need be the master to your mind.

BB Webb