As I continue on this road of self discovery, really, discerning who I do and don’t want hanging out in my ether space, I am at the same time cultivating a style for which to screen, negotiate and honor my sensibilities.
I’ve always not only done my best to ‘play fair’ I have from time to time put myself at risk being too….(gawd I resist this tepid, wimpish word), nice! I’d rather we all get along. Really. (Oh that nefarious need to be understood, driving me again to distraction)!!! AND, in the same breath, I have specific standards on how I endeavor to treat people and certainly how I run my business and my life. It’s all MY perogative and I exercise that free choice.
But then we have our personalities and ability or non-ability to handle stressors in our life. I’ve always been high energy, (read that as high strung, if you will)….and I value calming spirits in my breathing space…it helps me, it helps me from not mismanaging my intent to be more temperate.
Well, I’m often not! And it pains me to think that at those times I am displaying (with all DUE respect to my father), Bob Banta’s less than admirable qualities when it came to dealing with people and his temper. I don’t mean to rally against anyone, just am not as adept as I’d prefer at managing my frustration in how to better communicate, (or in my current position and role, (one I’m not best suited for), General Manager of my company), until I find someone better to do it. I prefer and am better suited for the owner/vision castor role! There are some things you just KNOW!
But, I know what needs to be done. And I beg forgiveness at not being different in these moments, though indeed wave a flag of surrender to who I am for as Popeye asserted so beautifully, ‘I yam what I yam what I yam’.
I wish I were Catholic in those moments….to either confess my imperfections to be denounced pure or to rally with the other imperfect sinners in the congregation while downing copious amounts of church wine.
Let’s face it, it’s humor that will in the end save us all….and of course dancing!
With love, cause that’s TRULY all I care to focus upon…..and with thanks to the many folks who seem to ‘GET’ BB Webb and bless their souls, still choose to tarry about in my presence. Sincerely!!