I’m at the airport, connected finally to the internet, waaaay early for meeting my sister-in-law in from Germany to visit during her layover, and somehow, (a first), I’m not interested in people watching….as the flood of emails has grown in being out of my office networking for two days. I’m wondering when it all becomes too much. And then I consider the firehose of info I send out daily, (I know, I know) and it reminds me that too much caffeine is probably not a good idea for me!
I was born running and it’s just the pace to which I’m accustomed. I’m not saying whether it’s good or bad, it just is, anyhow, for now as my other choices don’t seem reasonable. I’m finding too, that when the day is done, it’s on yourself you must rely. I often try to fool myself thinking it might be different. I often live in a fantasy-land….the blessing and curse to a creative soul. I’m trying to learn to separate that thinking though I’m not very successful at it, at least yet.
I yesterday drove myself to Atlanta to a networking for lunch (among great women) and in the evening to Athens for another networking, (and yet ANOTHER great group of women). Of course, then there is follow up, more correspondence…. and on it goes as we work to build out businesses, to reach out to help others and allow them to serve us should they choose.
At my morning event, I attended a Results Count ‘recognition’ ceremony with Atlanta Women in Business.
I received the recognition in 2006 and was entirely delighted to attend and be there for the deserved recipient this year, Barbara Giamanco. I hated that I missed the announcement of her recognition as I flashed out for a potty break, but when I came in to this group of 30 or 40 women, at Maggiano’s Restaurant, I found the recipient, a most ironically bold and stealthy woman, (and she knows VERY WELL my loving intent with that statement), holding back tears. I could feel my entire body soften and cave in with the softness and vulnerability of her moment.
And then she said something which moved me in a way that surprised me and makes me tear up as I write this. She said something like, ‘throughout the year I just kept showing up and showing up,’ and I felt her struggle, her pain, similar to yours and mine.
I realized at that moment that it is our job is to just keep showing up…not just in business, but in life. Despite the heartache, the disappointments, the sudden shifts in our back account, the people who come and go….we need to just keep showing up. The victories are easy to show up for, but they bring up what isn’t that and I think THAT is where the emotion comes from, the tears….recognizing what you’ve been through and THAT perhaps is what makes the victories, the small recognitions we get from time to time, so thoughtful, so unexpected and so special. Someone witnessed and recognized your journey and gave it life.
When I received my recognition in 2006, in my most BB trained way, I rose to the occasion, (there was a big group in attendance as it was announced during a conference). I spoke some heartfelt words, held myself together, as I am so trained to do. I’m an actress, I know how to pretend if I have to, certainly good at the ‘tough it out’ stuff, don’t let anyone see your terror and certainly not your heartache, save those vulnerabilities for the few people who you can be all of yourself with, who honor you all the more for doing so, who treasure that you trusted them in that way.
At the first break in the ceremonies, I went directly behind the building of the conference center, a side entrance made of total concrete near the dumpsters, doubled over and cried for 15 minutes straight…and I’m not a big crier. Somebody had noticed the work, my intent, that I’d been showing up day after day working to figure out how to grow my business, how to battle the challenges, how to win, grow, serve my customers, encourage my team. I cried until my face was puffy and my eyes red.
I realized then, that there was no one to call and that it was really MY moment, my moment to just be okay with it all and that I was doing my job and that the rough terrain was just a part of the overall picture. I had to be there for me, no one else really, and when they are, it’s icing.
The victories are when you pull your head up and say, ‘wow, things are really going to be okay,’….and you take a breath and the tears create a resting place, a needed resting place. They act as a milestone perhaps.
This all made me consider the people who show up for me when they do. They certainly come and they go, but how thankful I am for the people who have shown up when they did and how they served and honored me during their tenure and I am thankful in advance for the ones yet to come.
I hope I might be the presence to help others along, to show up in their lives, bold, ready, fearless each and every day. My heart will be right there with them, with you possibly.
Congrats to Barb Giamanco and to everyone who just continues to SHOW UP. Life can be a bitch at times and she certainly is not for the weak of heart….oh no….not one bit, of this I am sure, certainly if your passions are big and your heart wide open.