Some days I feel that life is quite random and then others, entirely planned, the universe having it’s perfect reaction to shift and turn us where we need to go, where we need to wake up. I think?
It’s awful some of the time, harsh and cruel really, feeling like being bandied about in a washing machine, never quite sure whether you’ll land upside down or like a shirt inside out. And then there is the matter of whether you’ve landed on the right planet or not.
I’m not sure about much of anything this evening other than how utterly worn down and miserable I feel in this moment.
I often feel I was born into the wrong stratosphere. I feel more often than not that I just might not belong here…or at least I haven’t found my tribe.
I’m done with this year. Its disappointments have been too numerous to mention and at this late hour I can’t quite measure my growth or the possibilities despite being the singer of that frequent tune. I merely feel as though all the wind, spunk, fire and passion have left my sails, the bottom fell out of my boat and I’m momentarily lost in a dark, dark sea and no, I don’t swim well, at all.
I will need to apply serious resuscitation measures on myself. My humanness overwhelms me and this heart of mine. Send out the memo, I’m not superwoman. Don’t shake TOO hard, I might break.
I’m played out and withdraw my poker hand. I hope I go to sleep and wake up some place new or with selective amnesia.
Interesting how our worlds can spontaneously shift on a dime….or in my case, on a banana peel. And ooooh, the good intentions I line my path so carefully with…..