Are you? Do you ‘stuff’ down what you’re feeling….hold your tongue, distract yourself with ‘happy thoughts’ or pout away because you just couldn’t express what you were feeling? Do you tend to blame the other guy, refuse to take ‘ownership’ for what occurs in your life, focus on that glass that is clearly half empty in your eyes. Do you eat to cover your pain or choose other distractors like alcohol, drugs, excessive work or who knows what else.
I seem to be on a pensive trail just now…stay with me if you can…it’s no doubt leading somewhere; for me it is and possibly stirring up some thought for you. (Perhaps you need to play the soundtrack below to get you in the mood and frame of mind for this particular post)!
I’m just wondering. As I watch my own life and patterns, similar to a movie trailer, one scene building up to the next, the players, the background scenery, how my face changes, my hairstyles, the clothes I wear and for me, thankfully the animals and few people who act as angels and well, all the folks with whom I come in contact are teachers on my path.
I watch how my time has been spent over the years, the passions and furies, the tender and angry moments, the delusions that have accompanied my life lessons leading to the epiphanies, disappointments, breakthroughs. I’m looking at the choices I’ve made and the ones I’m considering.
I see too where I have and have not played it ‘safe’. I see how ‘outloud’ my journey has been and I’m wondering how you, how others view their lives so far and really how conscious your choices or mine have been.
Many days feel like a cloud of habitual tendencies, a drive and relentlessness because, because to ME, with regard to relentlessness, there is no option. I’ve a small circle of allies in this arena, only a few who understand that gene or certainly who might hold a space for the enormity of that drive. It just is.
I’m curious what you feel about YOUR options. How did my mother or your mother see the choices in her life? Where was she intent on ‘arriving’ in her life? What were her strengths, the possibilities she saw?
I’m just wondering as I consider my weeks and months ahead, what moves are best for the next scene of my play.
Maybe we’re all made of the same old stuff. I’m wondering.
I like finding the truth, for me….this truth and the next. And perhaps it’s similar to yours….or not.
I’ll send this song out to a special friend…perhaps the right people DO show up just when you need them, and maybe when they need you.
I continue to trust the magic.