I was leaving work this evening around 7pm, the beginning of autumn promising crisp, starry nights, (a harbinger friend of fall told me so), sweaters and robust red wine drunk on my porch with a fire blazing, a must at my home. (One of my favorite things to do with people I care about).
So yes, there I was walking out from a day, a week, a month, oh, really a year of so much. The tipping point has indeed come and suddenly I am noticing that just as my GPS failed to work this week, (for once I got the extended warranty and it paid off), but that I have needed to ‘navigate anew’, as the old pathways don’t work anymore. Of course it broke!! You can’t follow the same maps when you are going somewhere new! Any road warrior knows that….and I’m certainly a traveler in life this particular ‘go ’round’.
Similarly, as I shared in an earlier post, I dropped my old PC on my wooden stairs, and though she seemed to crumble into a hundred small pieces, she was not gone altogether and limped along til I got my new Apple Pro. Yet such irony.
My old operating system was petering out, my GPS failed….truly signs and symbols to what is occurring on a grander scale. When I am awake I see these things….and I endeavor to be just that. My evening slumber only fuels me to work another day to stay awake.
So, this week the compass turned a notch more and I could feel my sails billow with excitement, much as I do when I feel the crisp hint of fall or the clean clarity of a new direction, with the right energy wrapping its arms around me like a fuzzy sweater. You can feel it, it’s a ‘vibe’ thing. And the new vibes are rolling in like eager waves to the shore.
And as I walked from my lovely Carl House to the car, through the vibrant, twilight gardens, there he was, my tall and handsome Blue Atlas Cedar. He’s been with me all these years, steadfast and true unlike any lover I’ve known. He’s a friend of the truest kind. He is there as I come and go, reliable, a witness, a champion, there for me to rest beneath or just admire. Steadfast. Strong. He wears no mask, plays no games, he is just there. Not judging, just present. There. Regardless my mood, whether I notice him, in all kinds of weather. I feel his warmth, acceptance, love really.
I find this comforting as I navigate anew. If I could wrap my arms entirely around my Blue Atlas Cedar, I would, in thanks and with deep gratitude. Instead it’ll be my intent and he’ll know. We’re just that close.
It’s the little things that make the grandiose possible, my big dreams made up of these small ahas, turns in the road and the recognition of things I just hadn’t seen. It’s funny how one day, there they are. Lovely really.