I unfortunately take WAY too many things in my life PERSONALLY, yes, all in caps. Perhaps I need too much approval. I have an unfortunate desire to be understood. (Forget THAT one).
Being a business owner can really suck at times. Risk your ass, do your best, stay up into the wee hours with worry and angst, work to be fair, kind, giving, focus on the wrong thing or give someone too much power or room, don’t watch the right things, almost lose it all, have to fire people and cover your ass during a transition, worry cause YOU can’t do their job, pay for errors, take out more loans to cover your lessons, incur MORE debt, lower your salary and not theirs, try to keep the morale up at the office, come off too harsh one day, a push-over the next, hire incorrectly, don’t fire fast enough, forfeit a social life….good God, what a roller coaster.
Fortunately I can handle it and moreover know this is where I need to be.
I had a therapist tell me once that people will play out their mother/father issues with you as boss…we hold the ‘power.’ I guess you could call it that. I do have to remind myself often that people don’t HAVE to work for me. I’m so far from perfect….if they don’t like working with me, I sure hope they’ll know to exercise their free will and find someone perhaps they like better. I’m finding we’re all replaceable and it’s sooo much fun to work with people who REALLY appreciate the opportunity you created for them.
Though, there is one given…if someone is going to leave, it won’t be me, at least not til I sell my business cause well, I owe all that darn money to the bank. Oooooh, yeah!
There isn’t typically a lot of appreciation for the boss anymore than there is for a parent. That’s okay for me most days. I try not to take that personally. I’m coming to learn, (especially from my last year in business), that more often than not employees don’t feel THEY are appreciated enough. I do my best to let people know how I value them, but apparently, for some, not enough it seems.
I won’t take that personally, they don’t understand the pressures of ownership, they don’t see the bills, the increase in costs, what the shift in the economy has REALLY done to businesses, the things that the owner sees. And I’m sure they wish I saw more of all the really terrific things they do. I don’t yet know the right balance of ‘atta girls’ to ‘I need you to do this’ pleases. I get very confused.
Trust me, I get the whole notion of positive feedback, I certainly need it and get it from my business coach or friends. I've tried doing lots of 'touchy feely' at our weekly staff meetings, feeding everyone, sharing…. I'm not sure it's worked the way I intend. I wish it were enough that people have what I think are pretty cool jobs at a really nice place, (often close to home), with what I feel is a great deal of freedom and flexibility and the pay isn’t bad…certainly not for a small business and living where we do. Though it can be intense and stressful for us all at times, I think it's a pretty nice place to work. Better certainly than a lot of jobs I can think of…..but that’s just me.
Awwww…..the truth is….I could never work for anybody. I'd probably think they were mean or too intense or not intense enough, or that they should pay me more, blah, blah, blah…..I mean, come on, they're the boss. Who likes a boss anyway??? They're so bossy.
I do know that I am over-the-top committed to becoming a savvy business leader who is fair and clear and who backs everything up with policies and procedures and clear protocol.
And I’ll thank again Mr. Brian ‘Sassy-Smarty-Pants’, Cork…my savvy business coach who several of the people who are no longer with me don’t like much. They said as much.
‘You shouldn’t listen to him BB.’
Well I understand their bitterness. Had he not come along those folks might still have their jobs and I might have not seen how monies were unjustly being distributed and where non-profits were being reported as profits. Ouch, that hurt!!! Awwwww heck, we’re just cleaning up leakage so we can continue to HAVE jobs for people. And that’s a GOOD thing, isn’t it!
If you don’t watch your child, who will. If you don’t watch your business, who will.
I DO trust that everyone does their best, just as I do, and I appreciate that VERY much. Frankly, I’ve hired some lovely people and (though this is personal), have loved many of them very, very much. It’s just taken awhile for me to learn that they’re not your friends, they’re your EMPLOYEES. It keeps things a lot simpler that way and it’s the fairest way to be, for ALL involved.
But really, lovely, LOVELY people, ’bout everyone of them.
And yeah, I hate that it didn’t seem to end well with some. I try not to take it personally, but, well, I do. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m working on that….trying to tuck it in a bit.
I stay up late at night worrying about them from time to time. What kept me up the other night was the thought that….if ever my bottom line weren’t met, it’s not JUST me who would be affected, it would also impact ALL the lives of my clients who have booked events a year ahead AND it would also jeopardize all the people who I employ. That’ll keep ANYONE up at night.
(Note, my slightly sarcastic vent below is only my humor, (sadly misunderstood by a bride who though my biz was in jeopardy…not in the LEAST)….trust that my business is strong and flourishing…I’m merely trying to make a point with humor):
The good thing is…my employees could get another job…(whewww) and my clients, well, of course I’d get sued and eventually they’d garner wages from my future checks and they’d be okay, just a little inconvenienced. I’d lose my house, but that’s okay, I have friends who’d put me up. And goodness, I’ve handled advertsity before….I’m a ‘die hard’ survivor.
And if no one offered a life raft, that’s okay, I’d really try NOT to take it personally.
But isn’t it nice when people really DO have your back. I think so. And that doesn’t mean they remain your employee, just that things needed to shift. Ahhhhh, in a perfect world.
The really GOOD news is….my business is on the grow and doing better than fine, but don’t for one instant think it’s because I’ve taken things personally. Good heavens….there’s too much at stake, for that.
Surfing the learning curve.
Moving forward, with love, always with love…