I can’t sleep tonight, (it happens a lot), and find I’m wide awake remembering….images from past times running across my brain like a movie.
There is a lot of great ‘shifting’ taking place for me of late…which frankly I relish. (I’m wondering if many of you are experiencing a measure of ‘out with the old, in with the new’ shifting as well). I find it deliciously intoxicating to not know what gem of an experience might await me around the corner!
Tonight I am recalling my many years spent in Maine in my early 20’s, (and off and on for a decade), me the fortunate young actress and seeker who stumbled upon the man who would influence all I did thereafter in my life. I lived for months at a time in a big red barn turned theatre and living quarters.
Accompanied by fellow artists, dancers, musicians, clowns, acrobats, jugglers and the like, we would study and create our own personal style of theatre and expression, all under the tutelage of the brilliant and charismatic, Tony Montanaro.
Tony was an artist, actor, mime, director, teacher, spiritual seeker and the first man in my life who saw something in me worth supporting and encouraging. He was my first male Champion! My gratitude for his presence in my life knows no words.
And that is rare.
I loved him dearly…
Tony taught me about the power and magic of ‘what if’, of taking my time with things, (I need him still) and for believing in myself in a way I’d never known except from my mom…..such tremendous gifts to a young woman, AND from a member of the male species. He helped provide an independence to my soul, (we all need both male and female validation and support).
He also taught me how to ‘bomb well’ and to learn from what didn’t work. Consequently I learned about commitment to a ‘thing’. He indirectly taught me about love AND to put no one on a pedestal….we’re all lusciously and perfectly flawed. It’s that dichotomy I so appreciate (and frankly seek out),…especially in people I love dearly. Perhaps that is what makes them so dear to me and what inspires my loyalty to them.
Thank you Tony. xo… And love to his precious wife Karen, the beautiful artist and dancer who I’ve had the delight and pleasure to know quite well since Tony’s death. Thank you Karen for being such a scintillating example of passion, commitment, heartfulness and how to be a true, FUN, open and wonderfully devoted friend.
I can’t wait to play together again in your studio soon. (I think an upcoming dance party at Carl House is imminent)!!
I’m so lucky. I REALLY am!