I spent my early 20’s in Boston, serving drinks and shucking oysters, at what was then a very new Legal Seafoods. I was saving up money to go back to study with my still cherished mentor, the legendary Tony Montanaro, artist, teacher, spiritual seeker. I was privileged to get to work with a man so expansive and heartful in my early 20’s. He set the stage for a level of excellence and curiosity in life and in the arts that I’ve carried with me all these years. He’s dead now but his spirit very alive within me and in all I do.
There seemed to be an abundance of time back then. I lived in Watertown, a nearby Armenian community just outside of the city. I lived in a house with my friends Judy and Robert. We seemed to have a great collection of artist friends living nearby and had time to play at night or in the day. I’m not sure how I made ends meet but I knew I felt fulfilled and supported. We’d meet at a local diner in Watertown for the largest most delicious muffins and coffee served with a completely artificial and completely rich cream for the coffee. We’d sit there for hours and hours in big round booths talking and laughing about life and art, performance ideas, relationships, music, our latest gripe or gossip, shooting the breeze and spinning yarns with the rather plump and affable waitress named Sydney, our mainstay.
Times don’t feel so simple to me these days. Currently my days and nights are full of things I’ve certainly signed up for, but not always what I consider the ‘right things’ or where my soul would prefer I tarry at this point in time. But it is what it is for now….as I grow and learn and take notes along the way.
I wish there were a diner down the street where I might sit awhile with any number of friends coming in for a cup a ‘joe’, a hug and a little conversation. I miss the silliness, the play, the ease of it all. All this busy-ness and my drive leads to an isolated feel, like being alone in the company of 1000 strangers.
I’m miffed by the idea of ‘balance.’ I’m not sure what balance really means, I only know when I need to begin to ‘tetter’ or ‘totter’ another way. My seesaw’s about ready to travel another way, though I feel fairly certain not any way I’ve yet experienced. I feel a state of readiness within.
And, when I consider that priorities are what we spend our time on…clearly I’m saying one thing right now and doing something entirely different. That’s today.
I am reminded of what my mom, Kitty, would say. ‘Barbie Sue, honey, you’ll feel completely different after a good night’s sleep.’ And the famous four words which kept our relationship as mother/daughter fresh, peaceful, (most of the time) and certainly loving….’You might be right. You might be right mom’.
Here’s to a big bed with soft Egyptian Cotton sheets and outrageously fluffy pillows. Sweet dreams.