Anyone who knows me, knows me WELL, KNOWS that I just won’t do what I don’t want to do. Stubborn maybe. (alright, I just felt a distinctive eyebrow raise from at least one relatively new friend of mine). Well, stubborn….okay. I don’t think unreasonably so, but I’m not a joiner, I’m not a ‘yes’ woman, don’t have friends just so they’ll agree with me and I question things a LOT. Consequently I’m a bit of a loner though rely mightily on my very small network of dear friends.
I also tend to wear rose colored glasses, always looking for the good in people or any situation or experience. I tend to believe that experiences come to me to help me grow and learn and of course, ultimately love more and better, (particularly myself). That’s all fodder for another blog…. What I’m compelled to explore today is timing and certainly for ME, how important it is for me to do things in MY time, and the value of dear, dear friends.
I was a preemie, a premature baby, a soul eager to get the heeeelllll out of mom’s safe nest. I apparently couldn’t wait! I clearly had things to do once landing on the planet. I’ve been told more than once to ‘sloooow down.’ Probably good advice. My Dad had trouble with my speed and overflowing energy and would often command in a strict tone….’SLOOOOOOOOOOOOW DOWN BARBIE SUE!!’ I remember my ‘aha’ around the age of 12 where I was tempted to bellow back, ‘KEEP UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!’ But that would have been disrespectful.
I started dating later than my friends, grew breasts even later, (much to my chagrin), married in my forties, and probably am only reaching my real potential as I move into my fifties. I am beginning to respect the importance of timing. Maybe. (I can hear my dear friend, 2Lu, laughing….she knows how impatient I can become). She also loves me just as I am. 2Lu is one of those angels landed on the earth. More later on her as well.
Isn’t that delightful. To have friends who love and appreciate you just as you are…comrades who help you become more of who you really are. Carl Jung said something like this….
’love is the process of gently guiding someone into themselves.’
I like that….especially the ‘gently’ part. There is enough harshness in the world. I appreciate hearing the truth and receiving direct and gentle caring and love from my few friends. I like also giving the same to them. They make life worth waking up to each morning. And I hope when I die they’ll throw a party in honor of all they did to help me live well while I was here.
(And I hope they’ll spend ALL my money on a grand and memorable party, with lots of GREAT music, impromptu performances by artist friends, dancing, singing, twirling and an abundance of delectable food and rich wines which will make their eyes fall back in their heads with sensuous recall as they levitate to the top of the tin ceilings in the ballroom at Carl House, 30 feet high, knowing that all is right in the world. A Baccanalinan feast and glorious celebration)!
And as a late bloomer, I recently discovered Dave Matthews. I’d heard of him but was not ready for his music I suppose. All good things in the proper timing. I’m taken with his song ‘Crush’. It satisfies something in me at this time. When I’m pulled by a song I find myself listening to it for days, weeks, sometimes a full month again and again and again, until I’ve absorbed every molecule of sound, words, tone, feel from it. This one transports me in such a lovely way.
Here’s to love….of course.