Feng Shui Your Way to A Better Life….. February 9, 2010

You can, you can…..it will at least support your intention. I was reminded today about what I experienced and learned after visiting Hong Kong years ago. The art and placement of objects within a home is most seriously considered in the Chinese culture. And the horror stories related to not following the principles are incredible. Conversely, the stories shared when aspects in a home or business were shifted was quite interesting as well.

It’s all a part of constructing the life you want, or as I like to say, ‘or better, or better God, better!’

I’ve put together many, many living and work spaces, some with just bricks and wood boards for book shelves, colorful Indian blankets as wall art, makeshift homes or temporary living spaces while I traveled all the way to ‘getting to’ design my current home and spaces like my very own Carl House home and business. It’s so much fun and I clearly, CLEARLY have my preferences! Indeed I do.

Every action, every choice matters, makes a difference. I am adamant about my team at work tending to those details, the lights, the music, the smell, the FEEL of the space within Carl House. We are afterall selling the experience WITHIN this home and I know how important those details are whether anyone directly NOTICES them or not. THEY MATTER.

Lester and Annie, adding to the good Chi in my home!

The fabric on the wall, the use of water elements, pets, burning REAL logs in a fireplace, the use of mirrors, things which reflect light, how corners are handled, the placement of furniture, smells, textures, COLORS! I don’t go wild with charting every inch of my house but I do know that when I keep moving things around, something needs to change.

I don’t like how my bedroom currently feels. Burnt orange on the walls is not right. I’m thinking more a shade of green, a heart color.

It is in the ‘love/marriage’ corner of my home and well, in that it’s mostly me and my resident animals filling the room most evenings, maybe I do need to consider THAT fact and shift a few things should I want varied results!

My headboard for one is all wrong. The fabric I brought home from Bali helps and my bathroom is perfect, I can feel it, but I may need to repaint my bedroom, shift the bed to a new position, bring in some different furniture perhaps. It’ll be fun….with all my spare time. (I’m laughing). And I LOVE buying furniture, in fact, excel at it, old furniture at unbelievable prices. The right pieces just find me.

Consider the areas in your life which aren’t working well. Then look at your home with relation to a good feng shui guide. Just get curious. If the foundation in your home is cracked, how are your relationships, if your finances are in grave jeopardy, what’s happening in those designated feng shui areas of your home.

Happy Marriage? Hmmmmmm?

I brought a painting home from a trip to Hong Kong years ago. I was married then. The writing spelled out in Chinese, ‘Happy Marriage’. I later learned after my marriage failed, that I had the damn thing upside down.

Well, certainly there were other factors, but you get my point.

I live in a very happy house with lots of big tall windows, paintings and photographs throughout of places where I’ve traveled, of people I love, candles, crystals which reflect light, a fish tank with a very plump goldfish named Fritz, (who’s really a girl), (see ‘A Room of One’s Own’). I buy flowers or pick them from my garden in the summer every week. It makes a difference. I avoid too much clutter and honestly, express gratitude for this space EVERY morning when I awake. I LOVE it here….(and yeah, I’ll work on that dang bedroom soon)!

My 10 year old psychic buddy says that ‘happy people live in Ms. BB’s house’ And, indeed they do.

And I thank God for their presence each and every day.

Fun link here….. now go play….it’s SO much fun!

http://people.howstuffworks.com/feng-shui.htm/printable

BB Webb

A Life of Pleasures…why not? February 6, 2010

I indulged in Elizabeth Berg’s ‘A Year of Pleasures’ today. Some background: The main character Betta, recently lost her husband. In the dialogue which follows, Betta is speaking with her friend Maddy, (they’re newly reunited old pals), having learned that Maddy’s eleven year old daughter died diving into the shallow end of a pool. When referring to the pain, Betta asserts,

‘So you just…blocked it out.’

Maddy replies,

‘Oh, God, no. No. Of course not. You can’t to that, even if you want to. But what I’m talking about is…well, I think that deep sorrow can make for a kind of …unloosening. You can get reoriented in a really important way. Losing Molly reminded me of how beautiful life is. I know it’s counterintuitive, but it’s true. The horrible stuff? I think it’s all a necessary part of the great pageantry.’

I then flipped over to ‘The Untethered Soul,’

(a most indulgent weekend of books, silk jammies, solitude, lounging with livestock, (my weekend away postponed to another time), great snacks and spontaneous napping….okay, and some work)

….and read,

‘Likewise, when your mind starts telling you what you have to do to make everything inside okay, don’t buy into what it’s telling you. The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything. And that’s the only time everything will be okay.’

Worthy food for thought thinks I. Ponder that a spell, or rather, just sit and don’t think.

Try it. Damn!

We are not our mind.

BB Webb

Making things what they are… February 5, 2010

…before you can change them.

I was presented this notion many years ago and am considering it as I ponder with eyes wide open this evening.

I am considering how we delude ourselves and often decide to ‘not face the music,’ (a quite interesting expression). Why would someone NOT want to face the music? Because they don’t want to hear? Ahhh, maybe that’s it….thinking out loud….

I digress…

If I were a lazy person, and decided I wanted to not be so lazy, I would have to first admit and realize the truth about myself….that I was indeed lazy.

Well, I’m not lazy, so I can face THAT music.

Another favorite thought of mine relates here as well, ‘how you do anything, is how you do everything.’ If I’m a lazy sycophant at work, chances are, I’m a lazy sycophant at home. Maybe.

Well, laziness isn’t my issue, but I have others!…and come on, we all do, or why are we on planet earth for heaven’s sake. (Curious expression, ‘for heaven’s sake’, I can’t BEGIN to fathom where THAT one came from….enlighten me please if you know. Maybe because heaven is so cool, we should do things, for heaven’s sake…because it is HEAVEN).

I’m all over the board tonight.

(The ‘board’….imagine being from another country coming here….how would you know what things mean??)

Back to my premise….making things what they are…my inestimable mother had a practice which she shared with me. I remember her conversation with me most clearly. In her loving and sincere, caring tone she told me,

‘Honey, we all have issues, things we are working through. That’s life and that’s good. But imagine you have a filing cabinet and it is FILLED with the many ‘issues’ you contemplate. Imagine just taking one of the issue files out of your filing cabinet a day. And one by one, you will solve your mysteries, conquer your fears, learn to master who you are and why you were brought here.’

She was wise in so many ways. (Funny too, hysterical in moments….roll off the sofa laughing sort of mom. Gooolly where is Kitty Vogel now? That lovely Romanesque nose, those pretty hazel eyes. Playing cards in ‘heaven’ I was told, for heaven’s sake, well, and her own, she loved playing cards!

Allow me to dream a moment here. To have just an hour with her again, sharing her wisdom and her love for me, playing cards to watch her laugh and smile. (She ALWAYS beat me at both scrabble and rummy). If not physically, in spirit, (truly) she was in each audience where I performed, her face appeared in each scary new endeavor I had, giving me courage. SHE was a champion of rare cut.

I do however sense her always in the ether, but in the flesh was sooooo much better. I am a spiritual being, of course, having this often peevish human experience and I like to touch things, to hug my friends, to feel the fur on my kitty Lester’s back, the warmth of hot tea going down my throat and how my flannel sheets feel when I crawl inside them each night, better yet next to someone I find scrumptious. I like all my senses. I relish parts of being human.

Other parts honestly suck, but I understand the need for it all.

But….making things what they are. It’s empowering to ‘face the music,’ to OWN in a sense where you are. With no shame, no embarrassment, (as that’s just other people’s judgements which we shame ourselves with). But, to admit you are out of shape and want to be fit, is a first step toward change. If you are messy and want to be a tidy fellow, well, knowing the truth about yourself is a great first step. It’s good, it’s real, it’s bold.

I like bold!

To know that you only tell half the truth and want to be more transparent, ahhh, good to know.

Or sitting with your grief, your discontent, your anxiousness. One must move ‘through’ where we are to get to another place, as there is NO other way. There are no short cuts to getting rich, becoming fit, healthy or moving through ‘things’ until you simply make them what they are, feel it all, (no numbing out now) and tra laaaa, you will find yourself somewhere new. And truly, each step for me is ultimately ALWAYS better. I like better!

I like that….growth, a new day, a new, better perhaps, way of being, or living, a new hairstyle, (always fun), new food, new travel, new adventure, new comrades to share your journey, new ways to be loving, of course.

If you are unhappy and want to find happiness, you need first admit where you are and then look within yourself, not outside yourself, for solutions. Where might I change things in my life. Do I need new friends, a new job, a new mate, a better me?

Oh good heavens, I’m preaching to the choir, honestly, (Curious expression as well, I guess the choir has heard it ALL!)

Carolyn Myss wrote a book I’ve mentioned before and which I found quite revealing, amazing really. It’s called, ‘Anatomy of the Spirit’. In this book, Ms. Myss discusses how physical ailments arrive in our lives when we are not living in tandem with where our spirits, our souls need to be. She chronicles the lives of many people who once they made significant life changes, how their ailment disappeared as they moved into the right life for them.

They admitted, ‘fessed up’ to where they were, and in making that real and conscious, they could change things.

I am undergoing GREAT shifts in my life…and I feel it has been long in coming, (though I always feel that…I’m a little impatient….ooooh…..okay, I hear guffaws of laughter from all reaches of the Universe…, I’m probably VERY impatient). I am willing to ‘face the music’ and I hope that this music in time will be something uproariously grand and that a large ballroom or field is involved with partners in every corner to dance with as I am over-ready, over-done, perhaps undone and ready to go. I’m ready to go.

Evening thoughts by a Georgia fire in the woods.

BB Webb

The Untethered Soul February 4, 2010

I’ve been short of breath this entire week, I can’t get a full breath. I’m strong, healthy and in good shape. Sick people and old ladies usually are the ones short of breath. My friend informed me it was STRESS. And then she followed it up with,

‘Stress is the #1 killer in America. It can make you pull your hair out.’ Great!

I’ve never experienced this before….it’s actually a little scary. And then I read this line from a book entitled, ‘The Untethered Soul.’ *

‘Your cage is like this. When you approach the edges you feel insecurity, jealousy, fear, or self-consciousness. You pull back, and if you are like most people, you stop trying. Spirituality begins when you decide that you’ll never stop trying. Spirituality is the commitment to go beyond, no matter what it takes…..’

I’m headed out of town this weekend for a planning retreat for good things to come. (Not to worry, the livestock have a live in nanny for my time away). I hope to catch my breath, breathe more freely. I hope to begin to fall over my edge and let the air fill my lungs. To fly feathered and untethered! Sincerely!

BB Webb

*(The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself (New Harbinger/Noetic Books) (co-published with the Institute of Noetic Sciences)

Support, Caretaking, Taking Care, Caring Less. February 4, 2010

Which is it. What do we do from one day to the next, moment to the next?

SUPPORT…I’m all for that, giving it and receiving it. Support to me is giving someone the tools to do what they have the ability to do. We can give it and receive it…Support for efforts in growth, learning and becoming capable in areas which interest a person. Give and receive, receive and give. With love and and openness going both ways.

The idea coming to me too about ‘giving and letting go’ and ‘receiving and letting go’, releasing expectation on both sides.

Just receive whatever is REALLY being given (should you choose) and give whatever YOU want to give…it MIGHT not be what someone wants.

And then there is CARETAKING and I don’t do much of that.

Though on what I feel is a funny side note, I met with my financial advisor late yesterday afternoon. We spoke of all things commerce, strategy, tactics, business and the like and at one point, she looked at me with kind and knowing eyes and said, ‘you’re co-dependent in some areas.’ I laughed so hard the room shook. ‘Yes’, I said, ‘I am’. ‘The key is’, she noted, ‘you’re becoming aware that you are’. ‘Yes I am!’ I then added, ‘You have to make things what they are before you can change them!’ DING DING!!!!!

I appreciate someone lovingly shining a light for me! She was.

Back to caretaking…..I don’t think it’s so useful, unless you are a newborn, small child, an invalid or special needs person, or animal. I used to ‘care take’ hospice patients. I loved that work and may return to it one day. I liked caretaking someone who really needed me, being there for what they needed, comforting them, and if lucky, guiding them through their next transition….to new places, new journeys.

But to caretake someone capable and able, that creates dependency, co-dependency maybe. Maybe when someone ought to instead spread his or her own wings.

Discomfort is growth. Pain is growth….if you don’t numb it. It’s where if we are willing, we dig deep inside and sit with THE truth, as when all is said and done, there is only what there is. That takes incredible courage….especially when we’ve started to believe our own stories.

I prefer the truth. It’s icy at times, (and I’ve often deluded myself), but once I settle into it, the right people, circumstances and opportunties arrive. And there is nothing to defend. NOTHING. You ARE, it IS. I am eager to speak to that end in my upcoming media pursuits. And I will seek out warriors, people who have REALLY done that work, who know the pain of taking off the mask, who’ve realized the importance of compassion and their ABSOLUTE truth….which often CHANGES, as we grow!!

In the same way that I’d rather hire someone with passion and spunk than a seasoned professional who has lost their fire and buries themselves in defense and complaints…..I like the edge I feel in an artist, the moxie of someone who’s fallen and risen back in love, not anger, with revenge or hatred.

Having been in my own heavy shoes of pain any number of times throughout my lifetime, I savor that I can THEN, truly walk with someone who has been there too, and wrap my arm around theirs as we walk, emanating appreciation for the lessons and to be walking together in that moment. Truly.

And back to my premise. So, TAKING CARE…..I’m pretty good at this. I take good care of myself. I need sleep or I’m a solid grump. If I don’t eat well I am jumpy or have low energy. I try not to hide from things I’m feeling and will certainly raise my hand if I’ve done something hurtful or was wrong. And I work to hear the helpful feedback from people who are supportive of me. I’m learning to sit quietly as when I allow the messages I need to hear, come through, I am taken care of. Peace is only there for me to find. As I take care of what I need, I can better give to others, this I know for sure. Breathing, moving (I like to dance) and sitting quietly, key to me.

CARING LESS. I’m trying to learn to ‘care less’ about some things, but I still struggle with attachment. I’m so strong willed it’s hard to let go sometimes, to ideas, memories, people, habits, thoughts. I’m a little like plankton at times, embarrassing as that is.

(My friend 2Lu asserts that we NEVER need be embarrassed for who we are…I think it’s her own version of the ‘child of God’ talk)!!

I think of one of my favorite lines from a movie, ‘Run Forest, ruuuuuun!’ I need to consider at times when it’s best to ruuuuuun away from some things, or certainly to just quietly walk away. (I’m thinking of a recent thoughtless email to a blog post of mine….some things are just not worthy of a response, I have scores of examples). What we need will come to us when it’s supposed to come to us. There is so much that is not up to us. I’m learning that if we allow ‘things’ to be easy, if we’ll consider they can be, sometimes they ARE! That may take several lifetimes for ME to grok!

I forgive fairly easily, it’s harder to let go, but I can forgive. I SEE people. When I take the time or if I have interest, I do.

Though, I can get as caught up with smarts, wit and charism as anyone; nonetheless, I see deeper and that unleashes my compassion. You can look at a face, cover each side and it’ll reveal what is under people’s masks. One eye is often filled with great pain, sorrow, we all have it. The other the spark, heart and intelligence of the person. It’s the first thing I notice in people and I’m observant. ‘In person’ with folks is always the most revealing. And I’m tender toward people when I can see them. There is rarely EVER anything not worth forgiving.

…though it doesn’t mean there aren’t times to step away. People need space to be themselves and often it’s better to let them be. I learned that living with my father who was prone to hurtful outbursts. It’s the stealthier jabs that I’ve come to recognize and step away from, the more experienced, cunning, careful and subtle hits, cloaked in other dressing that I’ve learned to step back from.

For someone who seems to take EVERYTHING personally, I’m learning not to there. It’s people just working things through for themselves.

People need time to root themselves. Some people I think I’ve waited for for lifetimes, still with a knowing that in some incarnation they will come home to themselves with an authenticity which will make the world and all its flowers blossom and weep with great relief and probably joy! I’m sure I’m on some people’s waiting lists as well!

I understand humanness and maybe even the selective memory that people have, including myself. Believing in our own stilted resumes and stories can be a real liability!

My mother was a model to me of authenticity and showed me how to love. Never have I had the pleasure to be with such a creative, loving, nonjudgemental person in my life. She was a Queen, a lady, a playful sprite! I loved HER as big as it gets. She was pretty much the ‘real McCoy’ and a great example to me in many, (not all), but many ways.

So, consider how to support yourself and others in ways that matter, to do less caretaking of folks who need to find their mettle, (they can do it, with your support), take care of yourself and let others know how you feel, that’s a GREAT way to take care of you…it fills your heart and theirs and people deserve to know, really.

And well…perhaps caring less about some things is good, the things we can’t change, the areas where others need do their ‘thing’, follow their path. Just back away and let the world swirl about. Don’t consider doing a thing but be you, be loving, feel compassion toward others and certainly yourself. Truly. But do feel, it’s key to all growth.

Be rueful, but only in terms of compassionate….that’s what the world needs, certainly not pity!

With love,

BB Webb

And when it’s time… February 1, 2010

…there is no hesitation…only a forward fall into realms unimagined, like putting on a coat you’ve admired for so long in the store window. Putting it on is better than you dreamed, the texture, weight, smell, the sparkle of its buckles, the feel of its lining on your skin, the way it cloaks your body, the sturdy fabric. You feel warmed, supported and as though you have wings.

And when it’s time. Let go. Release the past.

When it’s time to fall forward, it’s time to fall forward. Don’t hesitate. You’ll miss the moment. Just let go. Open up. Trust. Spread your arms. Go on. Fly baby…fly.

BB Webb

Keeping the light on. February 1, 2010

With the myriad of dense energy I’ve found myself mucking about in lately, realizing my inner zing and joy was a bit diminished, I knew it was up to me, and only me to turn things around….to turn my light back on. I have a lot of light and typically, great energy and joy, despite normal week to week frustrations and my last crazy butt year and a half. But lately I’ve been stuck energetically in the mud!

And so, I called upon my healer pals, a diverse group of people from all professions, ages, nationalities and reasons for wanting to know better how to live in our world, with joy, in peace, with robust health, in love and on purpose, connected indeed to the spiritual part of themselves.

Chakras and our etheric field, we're all connected!

Suffice it to say, laying on the table of an individual who has tapped into his or her healing abilities, (we all have them), one who knows how to tune into the energy in and around the body, is something special indeed. As I get heavy in mindy earth bound day to day ’stuff’ I forget what I know to do….like ‘breath BB’. (I appreciate reminders), move, (dancing being my preferred choice), and to sit quietly to hear what I need to hear!

When I do, (and how hard should it be), I remember, I remember better who I am, what I stand for, my intent, my connection to God and a host of other supporters in ether form. I remember and ALWAYS feel better. And I’m serious here on a topic which I don’t know how to speak about well, yet.

We are energy, we have an etheric field which is around our body and which represents the physical, mental and spiritual parts of ourselves and energy wheels, (which can actually be measured physically), called chakras. All true! And these energy fields can become distorted, from emotional trauma, an injury, by not taking care of yourself, not being loved properly. While studying with Dr. Fernand Poulin of Whitewinds Institute for Energy Healing, I learned to sense the distortions and with intent, manipulate the energy to assist an individual in clearing away energies which aren’t productive.

In time you’ll hear more about energy healing. But look it up online or go visit Fernand or my new partner in healing, Janice Davey. I’ve seen Fernand remedy and cure things which weren’t helped by allopathic medicine. The work is amazing.

Janice combines her massage and essential oil knowledge with energy healing. On Sunday she gifted me with 2 hours of one of the most powerful healing sessions I’ve experienced, and I’ve had many. (‘Tune ups’ I call them)! How good to let go of attachments to people I need to let go of, to ideas, hurts and to instead, let new energy (light) in. She asked if my lower back had been sore and YES, badly so. She felt a blockage in my sacral area. Better now. We store memories and hurts in our bodies, all which can be intentionally released. Bye bye. And how good instead to move new life force and clean energy throughout my body.

And though I might lose you here, Janice has guides who come to help her, (yes, in spirit form). (We all do you know). At one time she was working on my head and I felt hands on my abdomen and working on the energy field around my heart.

Amazing all that. There is so much to experience beyond what meets the eye.

I feel the lightness returning to me and will get back to practicing what I know so well, taking time to tune into the divine energy we all have access to at any moment, while releasing the energies which serve us not. It’s all part of the process of being spiritual beings having these human experiences.

This work enthralls me. (Old as the hills really). So, if you dare, be open, as really, what is there to lose??

I stumbled upon the video below, with a scientific bent really, which may or may not interest you. (I feel it’s worth the 4 and a half minute watch, music by Delirium….very cool)! Apparently created by the Humanity Healing Network, an organization I just stumbled upon as well.

People working to do good! Here’s to balanced chakras and oodles of light!

Keep your fire burning, mon, come on…you must!

You might have interest in this video? Scroll down the page to where it has the YouTube link.

BB Webb

Our greatest gift… January 31, 2010

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
- James Baldwin, Author and Activist

Our greatest gift to ourselves and certainly to another person, is to see them spiritually….to see the person inside the humanity. This thought just lit a lightbulb in my head after sitting in meditation with a group of folks this evening (great vibe, truly) and after having a conversation with a dear friend as we discussed the evening she learned her husband was terminally ill.

I’m finding that when I view people that way, there is no anger, disappointment, expectation. I can discern who they are more carefully, graciously and generously. Life becomes soooo less personal when viewing instead people as (what I’ll call), ‘light bodies’.

When you spy upon the ‘higher self’, there is only love and forgiveness, you see your true self and the true self behind the masks and egos, fears and upholding of image which we all do. This perspective can’t help but soften even the bulliest of bullies, the undeniable deniers!

And when I remember to go there, when discerning myself or when considering another, I pray only for their ‘arriving’ into who they really are. I’m able to see those parts in people I care about deeply. Behind their ’shades’, their rhetoric, oh I’m thinking of one dear friend’s cynicism. I laugh at it as it’s all her protective shield; we’ve all got them!
Don’t kid yourself thinking you don’t. Just be kind to yourself as you recognize them and be gentle. Humanity can be rough. Just begin to choose differently, as you are able. And ooh, be patient with yourself.

And yes, I am speaking to myself, and to whomever feels they might benefit from such a thought!

We are all but reflections of one another. Think about that….truly, do! Thank those mirrors which reflect parts of you. What a gift. And when you blame others, what part of you is in that blame…or when you admire, what part of that is just your reflection.

Look who you have attracted into your life and consider why, why? And, what do they have to teach you.

When all is said and done, at the end of our time here, with all our ups, downs, victories, defeats, when the illusion of who we think we are is again shattered, like the glass table on my outside porch which was shattered last evening, perhaps we might work toward what we really need, move into who we really ARE, with no judgement regarding the masquarade we might have lived. We’re always, always in the process of becoming.

And, the energy of living outside that truth, (a lie, if you will), will ALWAYS affect you and those around you. Look around you, your health, the foundations you’re working to build, work, home, with friends, the well being of those who surround you, or not. Are they robust, solid, grounded, truly thriving?? There’s truly no hiding though we might with good intention try, sometimes thinking we are helping others. It doesn’t work.

Living within our authenticity is the gift we give to the world, to others and the manifestation of that truth might look different from how we envisioned our life. But, try it, you’ll be surprised how peace and fulfillment will envelope you. Caroline Myss wrote about this in her beautiful book, Anatomy of the Spirit.

As threatening as that may sound, (and it does often as I move beyond my preconceived ideas of myself and my world), just sit awhile with that idea.

Perhaps it was the full moon ‘wolf’ meditation I just came from, perhaps it’s just that I’ve been praying for a larger perspective, an enlightened ‘aha’ which goes beyond my illusions, my limitations, but which hits a core of something I can really embrace and which helps me love others just as they are….that being enough. Really!

I’ll say it again, ultimately, it’s only the love that remains, should we seek that view. We need sit a moment and step beside perhaps the ’story’ we’ve created for ourselves, the one we show the world, and trust a deeper inner vision. It’s there to see!

All our desires are worthy, who you are is splendid beyond words, and as far as being lovable, good God…yes!
Yes, yes, yes! And you should have your hearts desire….ALL of it!!

Go to sleep tonight reminding yourself of just that. Please. I will too.

And then go howl at the moon!! I promise, you’ll feel better!!

I do!

BB Webb

Unprecedented Times and aren’t we indeed the beneficiaries! January 30, 2010

The Dragon and the Phoenix

Wow! NOW I’m REALLY curious.

When God wants to get your attention, dang if he/she isn’t persistent.

I’m getting it, I’m getting it….really, I am…and I’m laughing here because, damn, for a rather bright woman, I can be so slooow to catch on to some things….DAMN, stubborn as hell too, (in areas). I’m realizing how easy it is for me to get lost in what I’m wanting to create and how I THINK it should all come together. As create I must! I often miss the signs of where I’m being led, as I’m busy hanging out in the projector room, head down, putting the stills of my life together….to get my attention they often finally have to hit me on the head. Ouch!! Ha! I forget how NOT in charge I am.

Honestly, I don’t need tv or the movies, I can just look in the mirror and find ample entertainment!!!

Thank GOD I have a sense of humor or I’d no doubt be jumping off a cliff!

But I am here for some sort of purpose so I do my best to pay attention, even though I’m not always successful, at least until I’ve taken the opportunity to reflect!

So, this morning I woke to two major surprises:

One, while shuffling with my eyes half shut early this morning, headed to my back porch to feed my pups, I found that a HUGE tree in my back forest fell and missed my house by about 8 feet. WOW! 8 feet! And it was HUGE. It could have sliced my house in two. Yeah, WOW! The wind had also knocked my back porch umbrella over, flipped my glass table which is now upside down out back in thousands upon thousands of shattered remnants. Impressive!

I slept through it all!

This was emblematic somehow of the many things which have been crashing one way or another in my world and it’s become like a slideshow of interest to me, when I can sit back and be merely the observer. Things slice left and right but I’m staying fairly well in the middle of it all, despite my protests and dis-ease at times.

And then, upon waking, I remembered that I’d had a dream, or perhaps it was a vision. My dear friend Josie, who died around a month ago, I felt her and saw her during the night. She floated over me with that kind and playful smile that she has and it felt like she was stroking my hair though she was clearly in front of me, about three feet above my head. As I felt the gentleness of this mysterious touch, I heard her say,

‘Let it be easy darling and just let go, let go. It’s safe. You know exactly what to do.’

I woke up not sure if I’d time traveled somewhere in my sleep or if indeed Josie was in my bedroom visiting me in spirit form, but it was very, very real to me.

As I remembered her visit while sipping my morning coffee, looking out at the wreckage on my back porch and right next to it where that enormous tree fell, I felt a peace come over me. Something settled. I felt thankful inside. I brought to my mind all the characters who’d appeared in my personal play over the last year or two….everyone of them. I saw myself bowing to them, with thanks, in gratitude, sincerely, every single one.

And today, tonight on the full moon, I look forward to meditating and listening for what’s up to come….as I have a feeling that it’ll be unprecedented and very, very RIGHT….with less dis-ease and more ease, more fun.

And I hope for the world to be the beneficiary to my intent.

BB Webb

Interpretations of Dragon and the Phoenix
Also: The Myth

Arriving Where? said my ego, bent out of shape and scared…. January 29, 2010

…the ego is always scared. He’s the bully in the playground, the boaster of wealth, the Joker, the cocky one who claims to know ‘the way’. He/she is always in attack/protect mode. I know!

I’m allowing Mr. Eckhart Tolle to kick my ego ass this evening. It’s good. I don’t mind a good ass kicking, as long as it’s with a loving intent….and not all are. Trust me on that one, people can be mean and terribly self centered, ha! and the stupid ones don’t even know it. The craftier ones know and pretend they don’t. I’ve seen it. And no doubt fallen into both categories at one time or another.

But I’m waking uuuuup!

Mr. Tolle’s new book, ‘A New Earth’ so far discusses differences between our ego identification and consciousness, how we think we are our minds. Somehow that lead to a discussion with a very old, (and very alive and awake friend), this evening around con-artistry….(I’ll hold that for another blog post). Cons live and breathe ’round every corner.

I learned during my pilgrimage to that lovely horse farm in Normandy, France, nearly a year and a half ago, that no, we’re not our minds, nor our ego, they are merely servants to the soul if we might somehow corral them. I forget that on a daily basis, certainly of late as so many areas of my life are challenged. Fertile ground for growth for sure.

My resistance, defensiveness and reactive nature tells me so. That’s okay, I’m laughing at it all. I am my own playground should I choose. I’m finding that I’m not what I do or what I speak or what my bio says, I’m so much more….no doubt you as well. Maybe.

I know for what I stand. I don’t mind being humbled with my humanness. I only become upset when I feel ‘lesser than’ when experiencing myself in relation to what is happening around me, events, people, circumstances, or by what others say. Silly all that.

It’s important to know for what you truly stand. When I come back home to how that feels in my body, I could care less about really most of anything which surrounds me. But it takes enormous practice for me to stay in my body and out of my mind.

And then something big happened tonight…a veil lifted. Amidst my total exhaustion with things confounding and most of all supreeeeemely disappointing….people, events, bullshit, I realized I could care less. REALLY! I COULD CARE LESS.

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I can hear the angels hooting and hollering…..blowing raspberries)!

I remembered that I have a choice in EVERY moment on how I behave, despite the shit swirling ’round my ether space. I’ve been putting up SUCH a fight forever….with everything, everyone. I’ve got this drive and passion which needs no approval, it just IS, as I just AM. Whether people embrace me or it matters not. Approval is a drive of the ego. Who gives a bloody crap.

(I feel smutty mouthed tonight and truly, am holding back a bit so’s not to offend you or your mother).

I’ve said it lately and it’s beginning to sink in…..on oneself you must rely. PERIOD.
Where did we think we couldn’t do this or that??
God, look in the mirror, there is power, fight and smarts there if you’ll but listen.

I’m working to stay open to ideas, possibility, but to be less open to most of the world. It’s not honored and frankly, wasted. I’m finding that when people are not truly conscious, they are less likely to be trusted, truly trusted. (I’m not faulting them). And finally, instead of taking it all so personally, I’m choosing a quiet little prayer which I say so no one hears and it’s getting easier to let go and move on. I’m learning to do so with absolute love.

And when I do let go and move on, with what EVER I need to let go of….oh, it’s like sailing through the sky without a parachute….no matter if I die. Truly.
I love being free. And, despite what feel like shackles at times, I am free. Oh, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am. And I relish it.

I can make a change or shift at any time and do whatever the hell I please.

And so I shall and should a comrade I enjoy care to join me, so he or she shall.

From Mr. Tolle, divine wizard that he is:

‘Resistance is an inner contraction, a hardening of the shell of the ego. You are closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance (which we could also call negativity) will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side; life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, the sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally, when you surrender, a new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence, the unconditioned consciousness, which in a state of inner openness you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen. If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God.’

So, rock on…beat your own drum….don’t fret the folks who don’t wanna play….let someone new arrive!!
Try it, and get back to me about what happens! We’ll swap stories! Yippeeee!

BB Webb